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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be able to wait for Menopause?

156 replies

StewPots · 08/02/2017 14:30

Ok, so I know that title sounds a bit silly, but at the grand old age of 33, I just want to be done with the whole monthly thing. I know (from my mum and MIL) that menopause is absolutely not a bed of roses, far from it, but PMS ruins my life for at least three weeks a month and I'm truly fed up.

I've been to the GP and there's nothing to recommend (can't take Pill due to family history of DVT , strokes etc). I'm currently on an implant which is the most reliable contraception I've ever had (GP did recommend Coil but risk of getting pregnant a lot higher apparently - I have 2 DCs, 15 & 3 and certainly don't want anymore). I've had AD for issues unrelated but have been free of them for a year and don't feel a need for them anymore (much happier settled life with DH following years in an abusive relationship).

I am just fed up, sick and tired, of the constant acne round my face for at least 3 weeks a month, despite clear skin until my late 20s, trying loads of methods/products/supplements etc, even ABX from GP which didn't work. I'm fed up of this awful blackness that swallows me whole for at least 4 days at a time once a month - proper sobbing fits followed by an absolute feeling of rage. It's exhausting as I need to keep it all in for the family, although poor DH bears the brunt of it.
The stages of undereating/overeating g at different points in my cycle. The absolute exhaustion I feel (like today) for no real reason at all (currently working PT but have night shift tonight- great) which leave me wiped out and drained. The bloating despite a good balanced diet.
I know this sounds very small fry and there are a lot worse things I could behave, but honestly it rules me for at least 3 weeks a month. I have one week where I feel really happy, energised, slim, clear skin etc etc and that's it.
Am I totally BU in thinking although the menopause is a nightmare, it can't be any worse than this for the next 20 years? The hot flushes I can put up with as also once a month at least I get a temperature surge and I spend my days and nights having real sweats (sorry, TMI).
Sorry for the long post and rant, and sorry if I've offended anyone, I'm just really fed up and frankly down about it. I never used to be like this. Thanks for all of you who made it to the end 😌

OP posts:
RaskolnikovsGarret · 08/02/2017 15:26

I'm 44 and having a hysterectomy in two days' time. I can't wait!

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 15:27

MrsJ Thank you :) it's exactly that. I think I have another 5-6 days before I reach that point. I do look forward to it then feel deflated because I know it will soon start up again :( and with 2 kids, work etc a functioning adult I must be. Bed would be great 👍:)

OP posts:
JugglingFromHereToThere · 08/02/2017 15:27

I'm into my fifties now and I wish my body would just get on and knock it on the head! Thanks for the opportunities and all that but DD is off to Uni this year and NO I'm not having another baby now thanks all the same!

Hoping I'm nearly there as things seem to be petering out now.
I'm looking forward to finally waving a fond farewell to Auntie Flo.
MP Not been too bad for me. Other stuff in my life is more challenging!

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 15:28

Rask - Hope it all goes well for you Flowers bet you can't wait!

OP posts:
Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 15:30

Juggling - yes I bet! I find the 12.5 year age gap a struggle at times with my two, I bet I'd find it harder if that gap was 18+! Hope it all starts to end for you soon :)

OP posts:
TheCustomaryMethod · 08/02/2017 15:35

Raskolnikov My consultant told me that the worse your symptoms before hysterectomy, the quicker you recover, because you very soon reach a point where the pain of the operation is less than you were in before. In my case that took about 24 hours! Hope yours goes really well Flowers.

Colette · 08/02/2017 15:36

Mirena really helped with pmt and no periods , definitely worth trying.wish I had had it years before .Am on
2nd one.I had similar symptoms to you and was sceptical ,I could even tell when the first one was wearing out (giving out less hormones)as symptoms started to gradually come back.worth asking about .good luck

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 15:39

Colette - thank you, yes a few PP has mentioned Mirena so will absolutely ask the GP. Implant is due out in 3 months. :)

OP posts:
Idratherhaveacupoftea · 08/02/2017 15:48

My periods were like clockwork always on time. Had normal period one month and have never had one since, I was 45and had no symptoms at all except feeling a bit hot in bed. No hot flushes, nothing. I must have been exceptionally lucky.

Katedotness1963 · 08/02/2017 15:56

54 next birthday, regular periods. I have/had PCOS and never had regular, unmedicated periods till I hit about 47. Boobs grew, regular periods. My skin and hair are a mess, my hair is so bad I'm really considering shaving it all off and hoping I can just start over with it. Eyelashes, which were the one "pretty thing" I had about me are half the length these days. I'm hairier than my teenaged sons...last month I found a leg hair I could wrap around my thumb, with spare!!

The80sweregreat · 08/02/2017 16:01

This was 18 years ago now and it was recommended to me on the NHS, how things have changed. i couldnt have afforded to have it done privately then ( or now) but its not fair that other women are not being offered it as a solution to other forms of contraception and your a day patient too, so its fairly routine.
There were lots of us waiting to have it done at the time too.

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 16:04

Kate - oh I feel for you Flowers my friend has PCOS and has this problem too with excess body hair. It makes her so down :( like I said in other posts, I know I sound silly and what I'm going through is ridiculous compared to what others are going through. What's that MN saying about "big girl pants" 😀

OP posts:
Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 16:06

80s - I really really would love to have it done, I just feel it would make such a difference. It's just a shame the cost is too high for us right now (as I mentioned previously no way would expect the NHS to do it) ...hopefully our finances will be more stable in a few years. If that's the case I will certainly be getting myself checked in 😀

OP posts:
The80sweregreat · 08/02/2017 16:12

thats a shame - it really did help me stop worrying about becoming pregnant although periods are a bit heavier i believe.
Isnt it a shame though how our NHS has changed so much over the last 2 decades - i took it all for granted back then too and it was mentioned so casually too by my practice nurse.

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 16:14

80s - yes the NHS is under such strain ( I work within & it's very stressful right now) but I guess that's whole other thread. I will certainly ask my GP for the mirena coil though and see if that makes any difference. If not I'll just bang my head against the wall for the next 40 years Grin

OP posts:
RaskolnikovsGarret · 08/02/2017 17:24

Thanks Stew and Customary! My current heavy period started at the end of last July Shock so I can't wait for it all to come out. Won't miss it at all.

limon · 08/02/2017 17:32

I can't wait for peri menopause to be over. I am currently on mirena and and estrogen gel which has all hut wiped out the sweats but I am in pmt hell most of the time - depressed, then anxious and about a week per month of feeling OK.

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 17:35

LImon - yes that sounds like me but mine is not peri menopause (I'm 33, surely too far away from that point yet?) As PP recommended I will try Mirena :)

OP posts:
Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 17:36

Rask - oh my god that's horrendous, I once had a bleed for 3 months, eventually GP gave me a pill to stop it. Flowers

OP posts:
Titsalinabumsquash · 08/02/2017 17:37

I said to DH last night that I can't wait to be over and done with this period malarkey! 3 weeks a long year I'm in pain, I'm miserable and living in a fog of tired brain fug.
I can't take any contraceptive without it making things worse and anyway, I fell pregnant on the last few I've tried. I'm sick of it.

The80sweregreat · 08/02/2017 17:40

I feel bad that i took it so casually back then! I like to think ive paid enough in tax to cover the cost since then maybe.
People tell me the coil is very good. Best get some advice. Good luck.
Us women have so much to put up with.

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 17:41

80s - oooh yes. I just had to point that out to my DH again Grin

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 08/02/2017 17:41

Like Skerrywind said, it's all individual. PCOS and infertility made my life hell at times but when I did get pregnant it was a walk in the park (didn't even realise the whole first trimester either time) and labour/birth was so quick and easy.

I hope you are able to find something to help your symptoms because that sounds absolutely awful! I'm sure you've tried multiple things but have you tried evening primrose oil capsules? They made my periods/PMS so much easier when I was in my 20's.

Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 17:43

Squash - yep that's pretty much me, 3 weeks a month of total shite! A month I could handle. It's crap isn't it? PP are saying try Mirena, it's worth a go...I haven't got a lot of choice really except to wait it all out for the next 30+ years Sad also, Flowers for you :)

OP posts:
Original poster
StewPots · 08/02/2017 17:46

Kate - yep, tried them with so difference sadly. Also calming magnesium supplements and spray, random homemade remedies from my very chilled yoga instructor, excercise, changes to diet etc etc...just lots of things over the years but no change :/ I guess I'm just at the end of my tether with it today. Had a really nice hair cut and colour yesterday but still look utter shit due to bloat, acne and dark circles due to sleep deprivation. 🙄It's fun being a woman isn't it? :)

OP posts: