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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

16yr old dd wants to go to a festival

105 replies

dalmatianmad · 05/02/2017 12:11

Hello all, would appreciate your thoughts please!
Dd is 16 next month, she wants to attend the Y not festival which is fairly local to us in Derbyshire. She wants to go with her friend, similar age.

They want to camp all weekend, I've checked the website and it states that 16 years and over are accepted without an adult.

I feel so uneasy and don't think she should go, she's far too young. she's been in touch with her dad and he's agreed to pay for her ticket.

Apparently the other mum is ok with it all.
Makes me look like the mum that doesn't let her kids do anything!!

What do you reckon???

OP posts:
babychamcherryb · 05/02/2017 12:12

She's 16? Not 6? Old enough to move away from home you must know this? Yabu

BigSandyBalls2015 · 05/02/2017 12:13

I'm having the same dilemma with my nearly 16 year old. She wants to go to Reading in August. Other mums seem chilled about it. I feel very uneasy,and,would rather she left it a year.

Is your DD year 11 or 12?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 05/02/2017 12:13

Sorry just read she's nearly 16 so year 11.

deblet · 05/02/2017 12:14

As a pp said she is old enough to leave home. As long as you have prepared her properly let her go.

Magzmarsh · 05/02/2017 12:15

I think you need to let her go.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 05/02/2017 12:16

I know they could move out babycham but they're all very different at this age. DD is a bit immature, easily led and has form for drinking too much at parties etc. If her twin sister wanted to go I wouldn't hesitate, she'd be fine.

Original poster
dalmatianmad · 05/02/2017 12:17

She's a really young 15 old, doesn't do very much, she's goes to the cinema with friends, one of us takes and picks them up.

I can't imagine she would be able to put a tent up and fend for herself all weekend.

She's year 11.

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 05/02/2017 12:18

If the festival accept over-16s unaccompanied then I would say it is fine. She is going with a friend. What are your concerns?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/02/2017 12:18

I let ds1 go to a festival at 16, all was well and he returned in one piece with no ill effects from booze or drugs.

Ds2 went to a festival last Summer aged 19 and came back in a right state.[bald and with a black eye from the mosh pit].

My point is age is irrelevant, is she a sensible girl and do you trust her?

kath6144 · 05/02/2017 12:19

Let her go. My Dd went to V at Weston park last year with 2 friends at 16. They ended up coming home the first morning as their tent had blown over and got soaked in bad weather, but went back both Sat and Sun to watch the music. (we less than an hour away)

Lots of her school year went to Leeds, which is a much bigger festival.

Its a right of passage, as long as both are sensible, they wont be allowed to drink without ID (if same as V and other festivals) and you are close if she needs to come home.

They ave to spread their wings sometime!

Highalert · 05/02/2017 12:19

Maybe you need to stop picking her up and dropping her off ,so she can learn to be independent and grow up a bit.

Let her go.

Original poster
dalmatianmad · 05/02/2017 12:20

I've had a really shit few months with her, nothing serious, typical teenage behaviour.
She tries to "act older" but is so young for her age compared to some of her friends.

She been to a few party's, again I've taken her and dropped her off, she's had a drink, I'm ok with that.

I do try and encourage her to be independent but it's bloody hard work Hmm

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 05/02/2017 12:21

At 16 she should be able to do something like put up a tent. And if not it's a good thing for her to learn. Maybe she could have a dry-run - put it up in the garden.

Fending for herself - in what way? Will she know where to get food? There are food trucks all over festivals - if she's hungry she will go and buy things won't she?

Mummamayhem · 05/02/2017 12:21

Talk to her about drink/drugs/sexual before she goes. Not just 'don't do it' but sensible stuff. Tell her if she keeps herself safe and enjoys herself you're more likely to let her go on the next adventure.

Mummamayhem · 05/02/2017 12:21

Silly phone sex not sexual!

GoodEyebrowDay · 05/02/2017 12:22

Could you go with a friend too but camp away from them? Do your own thing, have fun! But you'd be there if she needed help
Or money.

someone else's mum did this at a festival I was st years ago, she ended up making bacon butties for us!

WanderingNotLost · 05/02/2017 12:22

I first went to Leeds festival aged 15... as long as she's sensible I'd let her go

Highalert · 05/02/2017 12:23

Please don't go with her. She will be mortified. Grin

waterrat · 05/02/2017 12:23

I went to Glastonbury at 16 and was in charge of my 14 yr old sister ! We took drugs got pissed snd had an amazing time ! Not what you want to hear I'm sure ...that was 20 years ago.

user1477282676 · 05/02/2017 12:23

I wouldn't allow it. I'm not overly careful...my DD is 12 and catches a bus to the next town to shop and my 9 year old is allowed to the shop nearby...but 16 at that festival?

NOPE!

Magzmarsh · 05/02/2017 12:24

I agree you need to stop the picking up and dropping off. My ds is almost 16 and we haven't done this since he started high school 4 years ago. We're lucky to live in Edinburgh which has a good bus service, I can understand if you live rurally it might be more difficult but he was getting the bus to school so it was a natural progression and builds their independence from an early age.

Highalert · 05/02/2017 12:24

Well yes I went to Reading when I was 16. I won't tell you what we got up too Grin

kath6144 · 05/02/2017 12:26

And like your DD, mine is young for her year, quite immature in many ways, but they have to learn to do things themselves sometime.

Get the tent sorted in advance and let her practice putting it up on lawn.

My DD knew more about tents than other 2, but it ended up being bought by one of others, they had one practice, despite us suggesting more with DH to monitor. I think this may have contributed to it getting blown down, but they learned a valuable lesson and survived the experience!!!!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/02/2017 12:28

You say it's fairly local to you so in the event of something going a bit pear shaped you are able to get to her easily.

I think as long as she's sensible, knows not to do anything silly [booze and drugs related], plans how to react if she gets separated from her mates and keeps her mobile on her and charged she should be ok.

SorrelSoup · 05/02/2017 12:29

I think it's difficult if she's immature. At 15 I was allowed a day ticket and was happy to come home; might have felt a bit out of my depth staying over. At 16 my friend and I did our first weekend. It was fine. I was very sensible and was used to catching the train here and there for gigs or catching the national express to go here and there. Even at 14. I was used to going to see bands and drinking and getting taxis home; a festival was just a progression of that. You could start building her independence a bit more from now.

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