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AIBU?

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Original poster

16yr old dd wants to go to a festival

105 replies

dalmatianmad · 05/02/2017 12:11

Hello all, would appreciate your thoughts please!
Dd is 16 next month, she wants to attend the Y not festival which is fairly local to us in Derbyshire. She wants to go with her friend, similar age.

They want to camp all weekend, I've checked the website and it states that 16 years and over are accepted without an adult.

I feel so uneasy and don't think she should go, she's far too young. she's been in touch with her dad and he's agreed to pay for her ticket.

Apparently the other mum is ok with it all.
Makes me look like the mum that doesn't let her kids do anything!!

What do you reckon???

OP posts:
HardcoreLadyType · 05/02/2017 21:31

DD went to Reading at 15.

TBH, I think you need to trust that you have done a good job of teaching them to do what's right and what's sensible by about that age.

Letting go is hard though.

inthekitchensink · 05/02/2017 21:36

I turned 16 at Reading festival, many years ago. Amazing music & performances that are a highlight of my life even now, fun camping with friends, some cider and a couple of days of sunshine and fun. Let her go, it's a great rite of passage

FoxAndTheBound · 05/02/2017 21:39

I remember my baby sister going to her first festival at 16. We picked her up and she was exhausted. Got in the car and started saying she had trench foot Grin

Welshmaenad · 05/02/2017 21:47

I went to Glastonbury at 16, pre mobile phones. Only now do I realise how much my mum must have fretted but I'm so glad she let me, it was a great experience. Let her go.

Crumbs1 · 05/02/2017 21:48

It's not a rite of passage at all. It's irresponsible. You have no,idea who,else is there and how they behave under the influence of aforementioned drugs and alcohol. This is a child not an adult. Kids die at festivals.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/t-in-the-park-music-festival-edinburgh-drugs-related-named-megan-bell-peter-mccallum-a7128686.html
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3761418/Police-probe-man-26-dies-Creamfields-festival-campsite.html
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/girl-18-dies-after-being-8639233

AndNowItsSeven · 05/02/2017 21:49

Year 11 no way , year 12 yes if sensible and also with sensible friends.

Welshmaenad · 05/02/2017 21:51

Kids die crossing the road.

What's your point?

Oneiroi · 05/02/2017 21:56

I was living alone by that age! I don't see the issue?

Emboo19 · 05/02/2017 21:58

I think car accidents are one of the biggest killers of teens! Yet parents excitedly buy their 17 year olds driving lessons for their birthdays!

ByeGermsByeWorries · 05/02/2017 22:00

My parents let me go to download festival at 15, with a slightly older male friend. I had a brilliant time! There are things at festivals such as drink and drugs but in my experience people taking them tend to keep to themselves with them and there is a lot of security there, both private and police.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 05/02/2017 22:05

I'm sorry but kids who overdose on drugs at festivals didn't do it because they were at a festival. If a teenager wants to dabble with drugs then they will find their opportunity. Parties, sleepovers, at the park with their mates. Kids die at all of these places too. You can't wrap them up in cotton wool and stop them leaving the house.

10Betty10 · 05/02/2017 22:09

The OP has stated it is Y Not festival, not Download! (Although Download is a lovely festival I agree and very safe)

Y Not is pretty tame from what I know of it. She's 16- if she wants to take drugs and get mega drunk she will do that whether she is at a festival or not to be honest! She's not far away, will have a great time and can always call if she needs you! Even if she is a young seeming 16, she needs to be given the chance to spread her wings a little in my opinion. Plus festivals tend to have a very 'look out for each other' vibe so she will get assistance if she is stuck with her tent!!

bananaqueen · 05/02/2017 22:13

How big is ynot? How close are you to the site?
I went to my first festival when I was 16 and have been to at least two every year since then!
Drugs really are so easy to come by at all festivals, as long as you really trust your dd, and her friends for that matter.
if it's a smaller festival I'd be inclined to let her go and see how she is, follows the rules etc.
I wouldn't be happy for my son to go to a larger one at that age, but the smaller ones give you a taste if it's 'your thing' or not.

Crumbs1 · 05/02/2017 22:18

My point is the numbers related to festivals are high. I wouldn't rush to let a 17 year old own a car for same reasons - although they are more in control of the car.
And rapes/sexual assaults and physical assault of boys?
www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11822420/Bestival-UK-music-festivals-have-a-rape-problem-that-needs-action-now.html

Just not an environment I would let my child go to. Four of mine went when they reached 18 two didn't. Only one returned for a second year of festivals and since he was with a large group,of army officers he was reasonably protected.

10Betty10 · 05/02/2017 22:19

Y Not is a tiny festival so def a better one to start with IMO

HardcoreLadyType · 05/02/2017 22:25

If she goes, book her a phone recharging locker, and make sure she has at least one battery pack to charge up her phone with. She will really appreciate having a charged phone, and you will feel reassured that she can contact you if she needs you. I don't know about Y, but they book up really fast at Reading.

Emboo19 · 05/02/2017 22:32

Crumbs1 festival crimes are highly reported. Drug overdoses and sexual assaults happen in lots of places, they just aren't always reported by the press.
I knew of a fair few incidents that happened at private parties that never made the news.

jobanana · 05/02/2017 22:42

I'd dissuade her. Anything could happen.

jobanana · 05/02/2017 22:45

Also, do you chart her cycle at all with her? Not being weird but that will make a difference. She will be far more reckless if around ovulation. At other times she will think differently. These hormones do have a fundamental impact on our behaviour as females, and may as well address it. Forewarned is forearmed.

I've already told my daughter she's being locked in her room days 8-16 ; ) JOKING ... but still. There's more than a grain of sense in paying attention to what outlook she'll have on the date of the festival.

BestZebbie · 05/02/2017 22:50

I went to Glastonbury at 16 with one female friend, it was fine. We didn't drink, let alone take drugs. We didn't lose each other, or have sex. The "scariest" thing we did thinking back was go and watch Rolf Harris play in a tent with about 150 other people after recognising his voice from children's TV of our youth.... :-)

NickMyLipple · 05/02/2017 23:06

I remember getting my GCSE results at Reading Festival.

I went several years in a row with friends but that said, I stopped when I was about 19 or 20 as I could see the dangers as an adult and I felt very differently about my overall safety and wellbeing at that age.

If the festival is fairly small, I'd let her go. Maybe offer to pay for a locker for her so she can charge her phone and keep in contact?

MrsBlennerhassett · 06/02/2017 02:33

I went to Leeds fest when i was 16. Its a rite of passage. And no one really wants to do it when they are older lol because its minging dirty and trying to sleep in a tent when you are hungover and everyoen is shouting is not the best! But to 16 year olds its incredibly exciting and will always be a cherished memory. I certainly think you should let her go.

MrsBlennerhassett · 06/02/2017 02:45

and i agree with PP that kids do not just suddenly start doing drugs at music festivals. Ive known people take drugs at festivals and even took some myself in my 20s but it was things we brought with us to take not things we were offered there. The idea that tonnes of dealers just wander about the place offering kids crack or something is ridiculous. No one is going to offer drugs to someone who looks like they might be under 18 at a music festival because they are so heavily policed that if that child then started acting erratic and pointed out who sold them the drugs youd be caught very quickly, its not worth the risk to people selling. When i was 16 at Leeds fest no one offered me drugs and i didnt even see any. There was alcohol but again it was alcohol we had brought in with us as they would not serve me at the bars with no ID.

BitOutOfPractice · 06/02/2017 02:58

My DD went to YNot with a friend last year when she was 16. It's a small, low key festival and she had a ball.

We went and stayed nearby on the Saturday and we went and picked them up, they didn't the night with us in a premier inn then they went back on Sunday after a decent nights sleep, shower and a massive breakfast. That's more to too with the fact that dd is a bit of a wimp doesn't like camping much than any worry from me.

She's going again this year. And to reading which I am more worried about.

BathshebaDarkstone · 06/02/2017 03:03

I think it depends how sensible she is. Some 16yos are very young.

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