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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think double barrel surnames all sound stupid and there's just no need for it?

476 replies

ExpectoPatronummmm · 05/02/2017 11:31

I realise I will offend all you double barrellers
But why?
Do you realise it's a mouthful and makes you look like you're trying to be some kind of lord or lady?
What's wrong with one surname?
When I marry my OH i'lol take his surname. I won't just add it to mine and cause an unnecessarly long name to have to say/write/spell.

I think they make you look like a pleb.

OP posts:
LunaLoveg00d · 05/02/2017 12:17

That's the whole of Spain told then!

Yes but in practice very few spanish people use both their surnames on a daily basis. They use their first surname, unless they have a very common given name and surname in which they'd be Maria Perez Ruiz to differentiate themselves from all the other Maria Perez in their class/office.

I don't like double barrelling either. It's a right mouthful and OTT, unless it's some sort of family tradition which has been going on for centuries. Came across a child once named something along the lines of Michaela-Arabella Ferguson-McKenzie and my first thought was that she was going to have fun learning to write her name at school compared with the kids called Sophie Smith or Lewis Jones.

EweAreHere · 05/02/2017 12:17

And here's another Biscuit, OP.

Want2bSupermum · 05/02/2017 12:17

I have a double barreled last name but only use the last half. I initially only took DHs last name (he filled out our marriage certificate) and it was my MIL who had a fit when she found out DH had dropped half of the family name. When I went through naturalization I changed my name.

It's a last name and nothing more.

DJBaggySmalls · 05/02/2017 12:17

Will no one think of the children of two double barrelled parents?

SoupDragon · 05/02/2017 12:18

Just as long as you're still happy if you divorce and end up having a different surname to the kids you're raising.

Why would she have a different surname? I don't.

SoupDragon · 05/02/2017 12:19

Anyway, the OP's post is idiotic and Goady. Possibly deliberately so.

SaudadeObama · 05/02/2017 12:21

Some people have them and some people don't. Variety is the spice of life.

What you do when you marry is one small part of the wider picture.

Broaden your mind, your statements calling others plebs makes you sound judgemental and bitter.

OwlinaTree · 05/02/2017 12:21

mambono is just a suggestion to ensure female names are carried forward. The way it is now they hardly ever are.

dj we've done that one!

SparklyTwinkleGlitter · 05/02/2017 12:21

Do you realise it's a mouthful and makes you look like you're trying to be some kind of lord or lady?
I think they make you look like a pleb.
These two parts of your post are a little contradictory are they not, OP? Were you just sounding off a little or do you not know what pleb means ?

No, I don't think they're contradictory at all.
The first is saying that the user is acting like Hyacynth Bucket. The second sentence is saying that in reality, the user appears to be an uneducated numpty.

I agree with the OP that in reality, double barrelled names don't make life easy. My DSS has a DB name courtesy of his mother and his foreign born wife has tried to amalagamate hers with his when they married. However, they've given their son just her (simple) surname to make his life easier and I don't blame them.

blue2014 · 05/02/2017 12:21

Because we are both the last to have our family name and neither wanted it to die out, we are equals and see both our names as important, we don't see why one of us has to loose our family name (we both took our new married surname)

Don't really see why it bothers you though

schokolade · 05/02/2017 12:21

The kids will learn the long names just fine. You never hear people saying 'call him John not Christopher. It'll be much easier for him to learn in reception.'

lifeisazebracrossing · 05/02/2017 12:23

Well I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think, my dear. You do realise you that taking your husband's name is in line with the outdated idea of ownership in marriage, don't you? Enjoy that idea - and being 'given away ', presumably.

foodiefil · 05/02/2017 12:23

I'm with Maud - my family surname is unusual and would die out with me or my sister if we didn't carry it on.

But I won't be a pleb because I'm fabulous

BenadrylCucumberpatch · 05/02/2017 12:23

This just reminded me of Jo Brand recalling her militant feminist friends being unimpressed at her decision to get married.
"Oh, and I suppose you'll take his name as well, too?" they asked.

"No" she said "I don't think Bernard will suit me".
Grin

WitchesCauldron · 05/02/2017 12:25

No, only acceptable if you're aristocracy.

Chelazla · 05/02/2017 12:27

My dh and I were engaged when I found out I was pregnant with dd. I absolutely refused to give him her name until we were married- I would be one mainly taking her to school, doc etc and wanted same name. We ended up getting married when I was 81/2 months so became irrelevant. I've no real opinion on double barrelled all to their own but I think it's ridiculous when unmarried percent automatically give it dads name!

user1484750550 · 05/02/2017 12:27

What a rude and nasty post from the OP.

Why should any woman HAVE to give up her name when she gets married?

And if she keeps her name, (as she can,) is it OK with you if the kids have HER name? Will it be OK with the father of the children, and the in laws? No it won't will it?!

Women are expected to give up their name, and even if they don't, the children must ALWAYS have daddy's name, so I can't blame women for going double barrelled.

I am not double-barrelled, but I know someone who is 20-something now who is definitely going to be Mrs Barker-Heighway. And the kids will have that name too.

As people have said, many other countries do it. I suppose you think they're all attention seeking plebs too.

How rude! What on earth is your problem?

Agerbilatemycardigan · 05/02/2017 12:28

I think that YABU. Who does it harm?

I have a double-barrelled surname due to my (now ex) misogynistic FiL sidling up to me on my wedding day and whispering in my ear that now I had their family name I would have to tow the line and do as I was told.
So when I signed the register I put my name first and then hyphenated it and put their name second. I was making the pint that I would always be Agerbil first.

Before that happened, it hadn't even crossed my mind to have a double-barrelled name.

user1484750550 · 05/02/2017 12:28

And yes you ARE being f-cking unreasonable!

LunaLoveg00d · 05/02/2017 12:28

my family surname is unusual and would die out with me or my sister if we didn't carry it on.

So you do what's been done in Scotland for generations and use your maiden surname as a middle name. All my kids have a surname as one of their middle names. Two have mine, one has my mum's.

Agerbilatemycardigan · 05/02/2017 12:29

Sorry, that should be point. Although I'm not averse to the occasional pint Grin

SoupDragon · 05/02/2017 12:30

You do realise you that taking your husband's name is in line with the outdated idea of ownership in marriage, don't you? Enjoy that idea - and being 'given away ', presumably.

You do realise it's possible to make a point without insulting other people don't you?

LarrytheCucumber · 05/02/2017 12:30

I always assumed that recent double barrelled names just meant the parents aren't married so gave the child both surnames.
It was fashionable amongst Victorians, but I have no idea why.

FurryGiraffe · 05/02/2017 12:31

DH and I both double barrelled when we got married. I wasn't really a fan of double barrelled names, but as we wanted to share a surname with each other and any children we had, and neither of us fancied losing our names entirely, it was the only sensible option.

It's a bit of a faff when filling in forms but that seems a small price to pay for equality.

redexpat · 05/02/2017 12:32

YABU. And a bit stupid.