Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 19 20

Original poster

AIBU to think double barrel surnames all sound stupid and there's just no need for it?

476 replies

ExpectoPatronummmm · 05/02/2017 11:31

I realise I will offend all you double barrellers
But why?
Do you realise it's a mouthful and makes you look like you're trying to be some kind of lord or lady?
What's wrong with one surname?
When I marry my OH i'lol take his surname. I won't just add it to mine and cause an unnecessarly long name to have to say/write/spell.

I think they make you look like a pleb.

OP posts:

pissedglitter · 05/02/2017 13:10

SemiNormal said everything I wanted to but done it with way less swear words than I was going to use

It is no one else's business why I took my husbands surname, no ones business what name (or why) I gave my children
Live your own lives and leave everyone else alone

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 05/02/2017 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Gwenhwyfar · 05/02/2017 13:11

"
Rightly or wrongly a double-barreled surname looks posh to me but, meh"

Yes, but if more ordinary people had them they would stop looking posh wouldn't they? And, as I've said before, Smith-Jones is not the same as Parker-Bowles or whatever. Posh people don't own double-barrelled names, they don't have a monopoly on them and we can all have one if we want to.

BeansMcCready · 05/02/2017 13:12

DH and I doubled barrelled when we got married, it was a symbol of the partnership and it sounds ace IMO. Our kids can choose what they do in the future, four names, two names, one name, whatever! You can choose! We no longer have to follow a set of patriarchal naming conventions and can make the right choice for us as individuals and families. Loosen up OP!

Vq1970 · 05/02/2017 13:12

My best friend was given her father's unusual surname at birth but contact was lost when she was still a baby. She has recently got married and double barrelled her name to include her maiden name in case her father or other family ever try to find her. Makes perfect sense.

Ellle · 05/02/2017 13:16

Well, it just depends on your own personal experience. You think that way, but other people are not like you.

To me it was the other way around, having been raised in a Spanish speaking country where it was normal that everyone had two surnames, I found it quite strange at first that in the other English speaking countries I visited or lived in (USA, UK) people only had one surname.
That gave me all sort of problems as whenever I had to write my full name as it appears on my passport, people assumed that my second surname (my mother's) was my first.

In my own country, I had no need for a double-barrelled surname to indicate that both were my surnames as everybody understood how it worked. When we had our children, DH and I wanted to follow the Spanish tradition and for them to have two surnames like me (one from the father, one from the mother), and to make it easier for people around them in the UK to understand that both were surnames we double-barrelled them.
I didn't take on my husband's surname (in my country it is optional whether you do it or not), but when I travel with my children it is obvious we are related as they have my surname as well.

AbiBranning · 05/02/2017 13:18

Personally, I will be taking my husband's whole name as tradition dictates, I will be Mrs Jay Mitchell, no need to keep any of my name's. and my children will all be Mitchell's too.

Astro55 · 05/02/2017 13:21

So is Miss Jones-Smith marries Mr David-Frank

What do the chose as a Married name in Spain?

Do you just pick one - or pick your father surname or the mothers?

Astro55 · 05/02/2017 13:22

So do they become Mr and Mrs Jones-Frank or Smith-David or something else?

PortiaCastis · 05/02/2017 13:23

My double barreled surname is on my birth certificate so I always use it and I don't give a shite what anyone else thinks !

ArriettyClock1 · 05/02/2017 13:29

What I have pondered over, is what do these made-up double barrelled named people do when they get married?

There's potential to end up with a quadruple barrelled name.

MongerTruffle · 05/02/2017 13:32

When I marry my OH i'lol take his surname.

What would you do if you had children but weren't married?

Bluebell878275 · 05/02/2017 13:34

I don't agree with the OP. I think it's a fair compromise for double-barrelled surnames. However I think it's rude for people to mock and indicate to the '50's if someone takes on a new surname once married. No need to make fun of people that make different choices to you.

lalalalyra · 05/02/2017 13:34

people giving their children the dads surname when they aren't even married I can't even get my head around.

I did it because it was important to their Dad that they had his name. Wasn't important to me what name they had - I don't need a name or an "obvious link" to know my kids are mind. I don't care if other people cast a judgement on their name. I just genuinely didn't care. I had no particular affection for my name either so it wasn't really a big deal for me.

I don't see why people have such an issue with mothers not having the same surname as their kids when millions of kids all over the world grow up in a tradition of not having their mother's name. Even in Spain where they do have it as part of their name there's no day-to-day useage of the mother's name.

Maybe because I hated, then changed, my first name I just don't see surnames as important or something. I just couldn't bring myself to be overly bothered which name they had.

farmbelle · 05/02/2017 13:35

My married name (which i use most of the time) is double-barrelled. MIL died shortly after DH was born, so he wanted to keep her name as a part of his. People might have reasons for these things, other than being "a pleb".

SpongebobRoundPants · 05/02/2017 13:36

Where are you op? You have so many biscuits to collect!

Ellle · 05/02/2017 13:37

In Spanish speaking countries when you marry your children get two surnames: their first surname is the first one on their father's side and their second surname is the first one on the mother's side.

So in your example, when Miss Jones-Smith marries Mr David-Frank, their children will be David-Jones.

Different countries have different traditions, and I've heard from Brazilian and Portuguese friends that in Portuguese speaking countries they also follow the two surnames tradition but with the mother surname being the most important (as opposed to Spanish speaking countries where the father's is the most important), and the mother's surname is the one that carries around. So if Miss Jones-Smith marries Mr David-Frank and they are Portuguese, I believe their children would be Jones-David.

lalalalyra · 05/02/2017 13:37

What do the chose as a Married name in Spain?

You don't get a married name in Spain.

When the MotoGP riders post random pics in airports you see that their boarding passes and passports say Marc Marquez Alenta or Jorge Lorenzo Guerrero, but they are always known as Marc Marquez and Jorge Lorenzo. Their mothers are Roser Alenta and Maria Guerrero - the women don't change their name.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 05/02/2017 13:37

Some double barrelled names are pointless. My DSis for instance gave my Dn a double barrelled name even though the two names are practically the same.
Example - Betty jacks-jackson
Dn absolutley hates it and has given up trying to correct people when she gives it out.

BeyondCanSeeTheEmperorsBellend · 05/02/2017 13:37

Crack on, op. I don't like watching The Voice. So I don't do it myself. Job done. :)

FairNotFair · 05/02/2017 13:39

Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan... ah, those were the days...

Bluebell878275 · 05/02/2017 13:41

people giving their children the dads surname when they aren't even married I can't even get my head around.

Umm..the father shouldnt have to marry the mother just so he has a chance for his own child to have his surname. These are times of supposed equality and the surname for the children could be either or both. Jeez, I can't believe that even needs explaining.

Want2bSupermum · 05/02/2017 13:42

user Jackie Kennedy Onassis kept Kennedy because she was a widow, not an ex. She had children whose last names were Kennedy. Adding Onassis makes more sense to me than replacing the Kennedy name.

WaitrosePigeon · 05/02/2017 13:43

Well the OP sure got what they wanted. Everyone frothing.

Don't know why people raise to it!

itsbetterthanabox · 05/02/2017 13:43

I think it's pretty sad when women just take men's surnames.
It's weirdly submissive and makes you look really pathetic.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 19 20