"When we got married I took his name because despite being a crazed feminist I wanted any children to have the same surname as me (personal preference). "
For this poster and the many, many who say this: but what led you to the conclusion that the children would have his name? Especially a name you find a pain? Another PP gave the children her DH's name which she hated, but reverted to her name because she couldn't hack it.
A married woman not taking a man's name is still a counter-cultural act. There was a poster the other week who had never met a married woman who kept her own name. Many women (and their partners) who buck tradition will be doing it because they have judged the tradition to be patriarchal / non feminist.
This thread opened with a poster making silly insults against hyphenated names, quickly backed up by posters saying things like 'it looks like the father didn't want to marry you'.
There should be no judgey sneering at anyone who thinks about it and chooses a male partner's name for themselves / kids, but at least stop and listen to the alternatives, and see where people have answered the same questions time and time again.
Like the mythical horror of the quadrupled barrelled name.....
(I expect my independently minded Dc, of both sexes, will: keep their whole name, change their whole name, use one part of their name, maybe according to preference, how well it goes with a partner's, or maybe girls keep Mum's, boys keep Dad's.... who knows. It is up to them. My only concern is if men take it upon themselves to assume that their name is the only and obvious choice and women do not think about this).
Good grief: if women choosing to buck the trend on adopting a man's name causes such grief, imagine what it was like for the first women to go to medical school, to maintain a profession after marriage, to set up a suffragist movement....