AIBU regarding theatre experience?

[WildBelle]

I took my DDs to the theatre last night as a treat. I was up to my neck in uni work all xmas holidays so we didn't really go out and do much, so I got us tickets to see a show that I knew they'd both love. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I have a dd with a disability so that's the last thing I want to do.

Throughout the first half there was someone in the audience who kept singing happy birthday VERY loudly. This ramped up significantly in the second half, it was pretty much constant and very distracting, and then was accompanied by someone else who was making very loud noises (and sounded quite distressed). i am assuming that they were older children or adults with learning difficulties. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely behind the idea of people with disabilities having access to theatre or anything else, but in the second half particularly the noises coming from that direction were so loud that it was impossible to hear what was going on on stage.

If someone had a baby that was crying, they would have taken them out to avoid disturbing everyone else. I can't help thinking that the carers should have done something about it, particularly when it escalated in the second half. I personally feel disppointed that the show was ruined a bit by not being able to hear, as a single parent it's not something I can afford to do that often. There was probably getting on for 1000 people in the theatre and they would have all been affected by the noise levels.

I probably sound horrible and I really don't mean to, but AIBU?

If it is not is it is!

People with noise sensitivities can choose to leave. Noone is demanding that they leave, merely objecting to others being asked to leave. And if they the people with noise sensitivity are leaving because of a disability noone here would be judging them. Its all being made into something its not for some reason.

We then become the people that are stared and tutted at

Point taken.

Again I do not know what the answer is

I'm getting to the point when I'm thinking maybe there isn't one

there isnt. but the point of the thread will be lost if people keep hijacking it to make it about something its not.

Yanbu. Everyone has a right to go to the theatre but everyone also has a right to watch the performances undisturbed. Given the cost of tickets I would be very pissed off. If someone is making a noise by singing songs repeatedly then perhaps they need to take a breather from the theatre and go and wait in the bar area for a bit. They can't be enjoying the show themselves if they are paying so little attention to it but spoiling it for others is not acceptable.
I am afraid I would have asked theatre staff to intervene and if they chose not to I would want my money back or to come again on another night.
How frustrating!

I don't expect anyone to leave bar me and the kids, I have said that repeatedly. I was answering someone previous post that said someone with noise sensitivity issues wouldn't incur the wrath of insensitive members of the public and just confirming we do still, I have been complained about at shows because of dd. That was the only point I was making. More in general discussion of needs at the theatre than the op to be honest.

They CAn be enjoying the show if they make a noise. Its how some people express enjoyment. Maybe get out of your bubble slightly? :)

and the comment "Given the cost of tickets I would be very pissed off" is what people are objecting to. Not those with autism related noise sensitivity,.

letthirsty..maybe youre not demanding people leave, but people are..see the poster just above. If you aren't, then it wasnt you we were addressing so not sure why you are taking offence?

People shouldnt be complaining about your DD either.

They can't be enjoying the show themselves if they are paying so little attention to it
The mother of the child singing has stated on a fb page linked somewhere earlier in the thread that this was her reaction to being happy and excited by the show and was paying attention to it, she wasn't scared or not enjoying it as people have suggested a couple of times and it's a bit offensive to imply the mum wouldn't help her leave if the show was causing her stress or not enjoying it.

I wouldn't demand people leave but I would expect them to quieten down a bit or take a breather from the show so that other people can watch it. That theatre holds 3000 people. Why should one spoil it for the others? One lady said her son, who also has Sen, was in the box and could hear the loud singing and it was distressing him. If you can't go to the theatre without singing all the way through, don't go. That's not unreasonable.

I am willing to bet the Mum has done the same as we do Bubbles and been watching the film in preparation at home hence the little girl singing the Happy Birthday bit which comes in the second act.

This is what my girl does.

If you can't go to the theatre without singing all the way through, don't go. That's not unreasonable.

how disablist can you be?

She was also singing jungle bells which isn't in it.

From the mother's FB post I would hazard a guess the girl was enjoying the show more than anyone else in the auditorium (with or without the happy birthday singing).

Moudly removing the child from the theatre when she was enjoying it but being vocal would have probably resulted in a massively disruptive huge meltdown which would have been worse than a child singing.

My guess as well lets - it's not always easy to remove someone who is determined to stay.

letthirstydogslie yes! From the interview that Jason manford gave (again link somewhere in the thread) which was totally lovely and he encourage anyone with LD who made noises to not be afraid and come along, he said that the little girl knew what was coming, so probably as you said from watching the film. I love how encouraging Jason manford was I said upthread it made me cry with happiness listening to him say that

Glad jason Manford is kinder than some posters here.

I am thankful for this thread, I did not know that they were able to play the show live in the tv screens in the bar at the Lowry, That is massively useful to us.

Actually that's a simple answer for the larger theatres. Many have screens from the stage at stage door - so it would hardly be difficult to rig them up to a decent screen FOH.

sll these people saying they should go home, there isn't enough relaxed performances or autism friendly entertainment or shop opening hours in the country, so if the argument is go home and go to one of these, they're not going to have a life or outside enjoyment as basically all activities in life are for NT people, if your saying we can't share these with you, please please campaign, lobby for more friendly options for people with SN for everything, don't just be like well they can't come to our thing! otherwise these kids are basically going to end up never leaving the house (and as someone living that life pretty much, it's not fun, it's fucking depressing)

Nobody is saying kids with Sen can't leave the house. One child sang through the performance ruining it for others. That does not equate to children with Sen must never leave the house. 🙄 There were many other children there with Sen who weren't disturbing and spoiling the show. But one person shouldn't ruin it for everyone else on the grounds regardless of who that person is and what their needs are. Anybody turning that into an anti-Sen sentiment seriously needs to review their thinking. The other people with Sen in the ausidence couldn't hear either! One lady said he child who also has Sen was very distressed by it as he couldn't hear the show.

I am not the one who needs to review my thinking here