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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU regarding theatre experience?

631 replies

WildBelle · 04/02/2017 19:19

I took my DDs to the theatre last night as a treat. I was up to my neck in uni work all xmas holidays so we didn't really go out and do much, so I got us tickets to see a show that I knew they'd both love. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I have a dd with a disability so that's the last thing I want to do.

Throughout the first half there was someone in the audience who kept singing happy birthday VERY loudly. This ramped up significantly in the second half, it was pretty much constant and very distracting, and then was accompanied by someone else who was making very loud noises (and sounded quite distressed). i am assuming that they were older children or adults with learning difficulties. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely behind the idea of people with disabilities having access to theatre or anything else, but in the second half particularly the noises coming from that direction were so loud that it was impossible to hear what was going on on stage.

If someone had a baby that was crying, they would have taken them out to avoid disturbing everyone else. I can't help thinking that the carers should have done something about it, particularly when it escalated in the second half. I personally feel disppointed that the show was ruined a bit by not being able to hear, as a single parent it's not something I can afford to do that often. There was probably getting on for 1000 people in the theatre and they would have all been affected by the noise levels.

I probably sound horrible and I really don't mean to, but AIBU?

OP posts:
Sherlock35 · 04/02/2017 19:37

Perhaps the performance was a disability friendly one?

We went to an autism friendly cinema screening once and got death glares from a NT family who were there. It wasn't really a pleasant experience for anyone.

Sherlock35 · 04/02/2017 19:37

Sorry X posted.

Original poster
WildBelle · 04/02/2017 19:38

There was no mention when I booked it that it was a disability friendly performance so I'm guessing not.

OP posts:
Superaspie · 04/02/2017 19:39

YANBU

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/throughacceptinglimits.com/2013/04/15/hakuna-matata-on-a-sunday-afternoon/amp/

This is a lovely read regarding a more suitable type of performance.

I don't think these should necessarily be called autism performances though. Or maybe they should extend them for other disabilities too. I think that's another thread though.

Sherlock35 · 04/02/2017 19:40

I don't really know what to say to you. I empathise that your experience was ruined but from my own POV, it's kind of hard only being able to go to special sessions of things, or more likely, not going to things at all because of learning difficulties.

One of those situations that doesn't really have a great answer for anyone

AndShesGone · 04/02/2017 19:40

It would be fine if it was a disability friendly show but not if it wasn't. I wouldn't want to pay £110 like I paid for Book of Mormon to not hear it or be disturbed - who can afford that?

For most people going to the theatre is quite a special event, it's usually quite an expensive event.

LouKout · 04/02/2017 19:41

The autism performances are designed to have less noise and dim lighting etc. Not to segregate people with autism away from the rest of the special snowflakes. :)

californiansunrise · 04/02/2017 19:41

I'm afraid yabu. I work in a theatre and we, like other theatres, operate an inclusive policy. Patrons making involuntary noises happens in a lot of performances and the vast majority of other patrons are understanding about it. The theatre certainly cannot ask people with disabilities to leave under these circumstances. If you don't want to run the risk of encountering this then you're probably better off at home watching a DVD rather than attending a live performance.

Original poster
WildBelle · 04/02/2017 19:42

Thanks Californian, i guessed that might be the case.

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 04/02/2017 19:43

YANBU and I think the theatre staff should have stepped in. Yes it's great that everyone can access theatres, cinema etc but the rights of one person who is causing a disturbance should not (IMO) be held above the right of everyone else to enjoy the performance. (Obv different if it's a disability friendly performance.)

Sherlock35 · 04/02/2017 19:43

Superaspie, that made me cry. Thank you for sharing that

Sammysquiz · 04/02/2017 19:45

If you don't want to run the risk of encountering this then you're probably better off at home watching a DVD rather than attending a live performance

I don't know what the answer is, but it's harsh to say you should never go to the theatre if you'd mind having the entire performance drowned out by noise. I think the vast majority of the public, including me, would mind. And no I'm not a "special snowflake", I just want to hear the play.

Creatureofthenight · 04/02/2017 19:46

In case I sound like a complete cow above, I'm referring specifically to the situation OP outlined - yes everyone makes noises sometimes, but if the sound from stage is being totally drowned out that's quite extreme.

NotStoppedAllDay · 04/02/2017 19:47

I'm not a special snowflake either.... I just want what I pay for

Why can't theatre staff ask the carers if there is anything they can do to help minimise any noise?

Sherlock35 · 04/02/2017 19:49

If the carers could do anything to minimise the noise, they would.

I8toys · 04/02/2017 19:50

YANBU - I would be annoyed if I went and paid a hell of money for a performance that was disturbed by other patrons. Its not cheap - its a treat for our family.

RTKangaMummy · 04/02/2017 19:52

I have known of "relaxed" performances in cinema or theatre so the audience are aware that there will be no pressure on families to keep quiet or sitting still and are free to wonder around during the film or play etc

You say that this wasn't such a performance but I don't know what the answer is as they had paid for their tickets too but so had you

californiansunrise · 04/02/2017 19:53

It may sound harsh but it's just the way it is I'm afraid. Theatres can deal with drunk people making a disturbance during a performance but there's absolutely nothing they can do about disabled people making noise.

RandomWordsandaNumber5 · 04/02/2017 19:54

Had a similar experience at the cinema. Spoke to the manager at the end; he said that his expectation was that the carers should have removed the people making the noise until they were quieter and then come back in. He gave us complimentary tickets to see another screening of the film. So YANBU.

cestlavielife · 04/02/2017 19:55

What was the show ?
If a child friendly show e.g. Musical then yeh you may get noise from the audience...

If it was a serious political play you might have a point ...

Fighterofthenightman · 04/02/2017 19:56

Oh dear.

californiansunrise · 04/02/2017 19:56

Relaxed performances are usually just during the panto. It would be fantastic to see them for more shows though

AndShesGone · 04/02/2017 19:57

I don't want the carers or the person with disabilities talked to by the staff, I think that's insensitive.

Instead I would like to very quietly leave and immediately get a refund at the box office so as not to offend anyone.

If that wasn't offered I would be annoyed.

MrsNuckyThompson · 04/02/2017 19:57

I would also imagine this was extremely distracting for the performers on stage.

Asking these people to leave is not discrimination. It isn't direct discrim because they're not being asked to leave because they are disabled but because of the noise levels. It is not indirectly discriminatory either because I think it would be an objective means of achieving a legitimate aim - i.e. To allow all of the 1000 patrons to enjoy the show they have paid for.

I feel very sorry for you OP but I'm afraid that I'd be scared to complain because you'll be painted as a monster.

Yanbu tho.

Original poster
WildBelle · 04/02/2017 19:58

That's why I said in my op that the carers should have done something about it, I realise the theatre's hands would have been tied.

OP posts: