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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Terraced house next to an old lady who complaint about our piano playing

201 replies

Greenleave · 31/01/2017 20:25

I have asked on the music thread although was also hoping for a wider mumsnet readers for a advice please. We had a complaint from our (lovely) old neighbor in the past when we played piano around 7.30pm since then we have never played the piano(with a sound) after 7pm(she is a nice old lady living on her own). We had another complaint today at 5.30pm that we are not considerate and "need to respect the others" and "the wall is really thin" and she cant stand the piano noise. I was told that our 9 yrs old has been playing 30mins or something in the afternoon. Is it too much? Does it mean we are not allowed to play at all. We are only home 3 afternoon a week, should I ask her if these 3 afternoons for 30mins is reasonable. We live in a terraced(although not too small) and the other neighbors have never complaint. We play some on Sundays only as we are packed with activities on Saturdays, so 30 mins 3 days a week and 1hour Sunday. What happens if she still doesnt want it(impression is she knows we have silent piano and she said we should always be on silent however we were advised by our teacher to listen to the real sound is better for her practice - the piano is an U3S-silent

OP posts:
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Original poster
Greenleave · 05/02/2017 00:05

I must say in defence for her that I dont think she is in anyway against my origins or anyone's. My parents visited few time and she is really fond of them.

Right, I now need to follow my resolution that do not spend time on any forum, social network so I will have to dissapear. Thanks again everyone for your advices and (supportive) posts.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 05/02/2017 00:08

I'm still confused as to why you didn't keep the digital piano and just have it on lowerConfused

I think it's pretty selfish to have a proper piano unless you live in a detached house and I say that as someone who plays. I would never inflict that on my neighbours!

kittybiscuits · 05/02/2017 07:31

You've done enough. Don't agree to fixed times. She was having a bad day and she took it out on your daughter. She won't let you in to check the noise. You don't know if she likes you. You only know that she smiles, acts nicely and makes unreasonable requests. I would let your daughter play as much as she wants within reasonable hours. You will never keep this person happy.

EnormousTiger · 05/02/2017 07:42

As people say just continue. We have a piano (although our house is detached). When we lived in a terrace with one we never had neighbour complaints and we even had a very large electronic organ in that same room too.

The old lady is of an age when middle class people's main aim was to have a piano so you would think she would be supportive of it. We need more not fewer children playing the piano (writing as someone 3 of whose children won music scholarships). Her after 7.30pm request was not too bad. I used to practise before school at 7am actually, but again my parents had a detached house so no one would have heard so not an issue.

teaforbreakfast · 05/02/2017 08:18

I actually would approach this differently. I think you need to stick up for your daughter now.

The more you grovel and apologise to this woman the more fault she will pick.

I would be telling her nicely but firmly that she is to speak to me not my nine year old in future. Tell your daughter not to answer the door to her in future.

I think you may find this woman backs off when she sees - yes, you will pander to her to a point but only to a point.

I don't think it's a great lesson to give your daughter that people must be crept around for fear of upsetting them.

user1471545174 · 05/02/2017 08:22

Please agree with your neighbour to set times, and use the headphones some of the time.

She spoke directly to your daughter because that was normal in her young day - adults would have done the same to her.

A middle ground can be found here.

FrancisCrawford · 05/02/2017 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittybiscuits · 05/02/2017 08:29

'distress' Hmm

Birthdaypartyangstiness · 05/02/2017 08:39

Just move it. Really. If you are actually committed to this in the long term, move it.

Be honest, the only reason you haven't moved it yet is inconvenience to you -you don't think it'll fit in with layout or aesthetics. Take some shelves or built in cupboards out of action and put it there. There must be somewhere else to put it, even if that doesnt fit with your ideal home layout.

Noise nuisance is awful and the inconvenience to her, much worse than you having a cupboard or shelving area blocked.

Remember that you tolerate the noise for your children's benefit, she gets nothing out of this. So decide -if it's worth it to you and your family, then it must be worth it enough to have the piano in an inconvenient place?

WaitrosePigeon · 05/02/2017 08:41

We once lived in a terraced house with a piano next do. It was fucking irritating to be honest.

FrancisCrawford · 05/02/2017 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittybiscuits · 05/02/2017 09:15

Yes

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 05/02/2017 09:35

The old lady is of an age when middle class people's main aim was to have a piano so you would think she would be supportive of it

Wtf?!

Sherlock35 · 05/02/2017 09:35

I think your neighbour is being unreasonable. 30mins three times a week is really not that often. I wouldn't dream of intruding on my neighbours and asking them to not to practice their piano in their own home! How on earth are you supposed to tell how you're doing if you can't hear yourself?

Your neighbour needs to suck it up

Sherlock35 · 05/02/2017 09:43

Ah, I see you're sorted. May your daughter have many happy hours of piano practice :)

FrancisCrawford · 05/02/2017 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrimalLass · 05/02/2017 10:10

Why aren't you just moving the piano?

Because a child practising piano three times a week for half an hour isn't unreasonable in any way?

user1484394242 · 05/02/2017 10:15

My neighbour got a panio yesterday, my husband helped them carry it inside and by the time he got back home my head was spinning! Thanks to this thread I realised it was so loud because of the chimney breast. My husband popped back to let them know and they happily agreed to move it to another spot.

We're lucky to have such lovely neighbours

FrancisCrawford · 05/02/2017 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1484394242 · 05/02/2017 10:19

And for those saying 30 mins 3 x a week isn't bad, it is when it's by a chimney breast. I didn't believe it when I first saw this thread but now I've heard it myself. My kid has a bedtime 2 hours earlier than theirs and the noise in his room was loud enough to wake him up.

iamavodkadrinker · 05/02/2017 10:23

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RedBugMug · 05/02/2017 10:25

MOVE THAT PIANO

we live in a terraced house and have got a digital piano for that very reason

so yabu, even if it's only 30 min 3x a week

Gooseygoosey12345 · 05/02/2017 11:08

Op you are not in the wrong here. Your neighbour sounds like a nightmare! My mums rental property is semi-detached. They're doing it up at the moment so staying there for a while. Her neighbours play piano at about 5pm for 30-40 mins every day. They're quite good. You can hear them play through the wall, it's not an issue, it's only half an hour! I hate noise but I'd rather listen to piano than arguments or screaming children like my neighbours. The fact that she told off your daughter without you there is unacceptable and I honestly think you need to tell her that. You do not need to entirely change your home/life for your neighbour. Your noise is not unreasonable or excessive. Carry on letting her play and if the neighbour complains again just say "sorry she needs to practice so she'll be playing at these times". She can't expect her neighbours to be silent all the time, it's not on.

FrancisCrawford · 05/02/2017 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LucklessMonster · 05/02/2017 11:24

This is the most easily solvable problem ever. Use the damn headphones.

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