Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Terraced house next to an old lady who complaint about our piano playing

201 replies

Greenleave · 31/01/2017 20:25

I have asked on the music thread although was also hoping for a wider mumsnet readers for a advice please. We had a complaint from our (lovely) old neighbor in the past when we played piano around 7.30pm since then we have never played the piano(with a sound) after 7pm(she is a nice old lady living on her own). We had another complaint today at 5.30pm that we are not considerate and "need to respect the others" and "the wall is really thin" and she cant stand the piano noise. I was told that our 9 yrs old has been playing 30mins or something in the afternoon. Is it too much? Does it mean we are not allowed to play at all. We are only home 3 afternoon a week, should I ask her if these 3 afternoons for 30mins is reasonable. We live in a terraced(although not too small) and the other neighbors have never complaint. We play some on Sundays only as we are packed with activities on Saturdays, so 30 mins 3 days a week and 1hour Sunday. What happens if she still doesnt want it(impression is she knows we have silent piano and she said we should always be on silent however we were advised by our teacher to listen to the real sound is better for her practice - the piano is an U3S-silent

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Megatherium · 01/02/2017 01:32

Op says her dd is Grade 5 - it's hardly going to be unpleasant.

How pleasant would you find the sound of repeated scales and arpeggios every day?

PantyLiner · 01/02/2017 01:49

I have a very similar problem OP. My dd is preparing for her grade 6 singing exam. She has a loud belt voice. Our next door neighbours have complained about her practicing. I can totally see their point as she really does have a loud voice. There is no point in her practising a powerful balled quietly.

DD used to practice after dinner so around 7pm. Neighbours complained that she was keeping their 9 year old dd awake. So she then practised straight from school 4 -4.30 and they whinged about that too. Like you we have an open plan living room but we have tried practising in the spare bedroom and bathroom - which is furthest away from the dividing wall but they can still hear her.

We now have to pay for her to use the local community centre for half an hour 3 times a week. At this rate I wont be able to afford for her to do any more exams!

SingingInTheRainstorm · 01/02/2017 04:48

The only other thing is to get a keyboard you can plug headphones into, if she wants to ask your opinion she either plays it quietly on the keyboard or you go to a room where neighbour won't hear as much.

It's odd as at grade 5 it's a rare treat to listen to classical music. If it's the same song every day for a month, tedium might set in. But still...

echt · 01/02/2017 06:34

What the fuck does the age of the neighbour matter?

Olddear · 01/02/2017 07:41

Would a chimney balloon help?

KathArtic · 01/02/2017 07:48

Everytime I see this thread title I get this image in my head.

Terraced house next to an old lady who complaint about our piano playing
JsOtherHalf · 01/02/2017 07:56

Have a look here for soundproofing options:

www.thomann.de/gb/standard_absorbers.html

bibbitybobbityyhat · 01/02/2017 07:59

I think your neighbour is being unreasonable. You cannot live in a terraced house and not expect any noise from next door. You are using the piano at limited times and not in unsocial hours. Yanbu.

Original poster
Greenleave · 01/02/2017 08:06

The chimney is covered on my side, I have never been to her living room on this side(there is another living room in front of the house), there is a possibility that she still uses the chimney. She would have felt its offended and/or rude if we ask to enter her house especially to check if its that noisy(it appears as we didnt take her complaint seriously and didnt believe her then it could have made her feel hurt). The fact that she is old and has been living on her own for a very long time is important to me as I was thinking as if she was my mom. I had an upset child last night as my daughter thought she did something really wrong and was emotionally told of without us being at home so I could have appeared unreasonable in here

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 01/02/2017 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melj1213 · 01/02/2017 09:29

She would have felt its offended and/or rude if we ask to enter her house especially to check if its that noisy(it appears as we didnt take her complaint seriously and didnt believe her then it could have made her feel hurt).

That's you projecting, you don't know that's how she'd feel and all you'd have to do is explain that you want to come in to assess the sound level so you know how much you actually need to deaden the noise.

"LovelyNeighbour, I was wondering if I could possibly come over while DD plays the piano so that I can get an idea of how loud it is for you? I'm so sorry that it's disturbing you, we're going to do as much as possible to deaden the sound and letting me listen would be a great help so that we can see how much noise is coming through and so how much we have to try and deaden the sound. Would that be okay?"

Katy07 · 01/02/2017 09:44

As well as all the remarkably useful ideas that have already been provided, could you agree fixed practice slots with the neighbour so that at least she knows when & how long to expect the noise for? It's easier to put up with something if you know when it's going to stop.
But I don't understand why, if the piano can be used silently and given that you're annoying the neighbour, your DD isn't just using it silently all or almost all the time? I doubt your neighbour would mind a set hour on a Sunday if your DD was using it silently the rest of the time, and it's not like a concert pianist who would need to properly hear it....

MakaiTenjyo · 01/02/2017 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TooSmittle · 01/02/2017 09:53

I don't think you're being unreasonable, in fact you sound lovely and very considerate.

I like what melj1213 suggested about asking to hear from the neighbour's side but would add that you should ask if there is a better time your DD could play. As someone way up thread suggested, maybe it's disturbing the end of a TV show she loves 3 times a week and she's got crabby because she can never hear what Noel says about the last boxes, or think during the bingy bong bit of the countdown conundrum. Ask when would be a better time during the week to play. You might find she cooks at 6pm, or showers at 8.30.

HollywoodStunt · 01/02/2017 10:24

have to agree with MakaiTenjyo

said earlier on this thread that my elderly neighbour is a viper who plays on her age to get sympathy/be the one to be believed when in actual fact she's the one generally in the wrong

not saying this is the norm and i know there's loads of nice older people

anyway OP she's chosen to live in a terraced house so should have known to expect noise - hope your daughter carries on playing her piano and enjoying it. you've been considerate enough already

bibbitybobbityyhat · 01/02/2017 10:26

Am assuming @MakaiTenjyo is being deliberately offensive there so have reported for trolly goady fuckery.

BarbarianMum · 01/02/2017 10:29

MakaiTenjyo seems to be on a mission to be as goady as possible on as many threads as possible this morning. Hmm

DebbieDownersGiveItARest · 01/02/2017 10:31

Not read thread but after experiencing awful noise intrusion ( not from piano) in a terraced house, I would never ever get a proper piano here.

DD showed interest last year and I got electric one with volume, and headphones. Having said that 30 mins is not too much and its a shame she feels it is. I wonder if you can try and calm her down and come to some arrangement, perhaps with your DD present, however as said - I would never ever get proper piano in terraced house.

HollywoodStunt · 01/02/2017 10:46

Haven't RTFT so didn't know that. Still standing by my opinion though

Original poster
Greenleave · 01/02/2017 10:47

She was told today to not play(without the headphone on)at all until I have understood and done to improve the situation( luckily we had just done the G5 last term and only on a relaxed non-exam one which she has been playing couple of Bavh and Beethoven sonatinas). I wont be back during the day light until this weekend, however will try your advices here to ask her

  1. what would be the best time for these 3 days after school that my daughter can play with the real sound(unfortunately we only have a window of after schools)
  2. We will put foam/soundproof on the back of the piano to see if it helps.

The worst to us is not playing with a sound at all and the thought of it is dreadful if you have a child playing and tell her not to ever hear the piano sound is hard.

OP posts:
YouWillNotSeeMe · 01/02/2017 10:56

If I was your neighbour and you asked to come round to check what it sounded like I would be relieved. Say you have just realised the chimney might be Nanking things worse and can you hear what's like so you know where to move the piano/how to insulate it. How will she take that badly?

CripsSandwiches · 01/02/2017 10:57

The piano noise would bug me too (even if the person practising was good - they're likely to be playing the same piece over and over again and I like to choose which music I listen to!) but I wouldn't complain because it's hardly unreasonable to practise piano during the afternoon.

Since she's usually nice I would probably make some attempt to dampen the noise (plenty of advice online) but other than that just reassure her that you'll only be practising for around and it will never happen late at night or for an excessive length of time.

That way you've been more than accommodating and if she continues to complain you should be very firm that you're just using your own home and in a terraced property you have to expect some neighbour noise.

Katy07 · 01/02/2017 11:07

what would be the best time for these 3 days after school that my daughter can play with the real sound
Why does she need real sound for all 3 days? If you've deliberately purchased a piano with a silent feature (or whatever) then why not use it?

ThatGingerOne · 01/02/2017 11:10

I also don't understand why you can't just use the headphones, I'm guessing she can hear the music she is playing through the headphones?

I do this and it doesn't effect my playing. As Katy said, why does she need to play outloud for the next three days if she has no grade exams coming up and has headphones/silent feature as an option?

TheAntiBoop · 01/02/2017 11:12

But she is hearing the sound - just through the headphones

I really would ask to go round and hear the noise for yourself. If it is being made worse by the chimney you can then move it. If it's not that bad at all you can then have a discussion about how your dd needs to practice but are there times that would be better than others.

It's not rude to ask to hear how loud it is at all - if someone wants you to fix a problem it is not unreasonable to see the problem for yourself.