Terraced house next to an old lady who complaint about our piano playing

[Greenleave]

I have asked on the music thread although was also hoping for a wider mumsnet readers for a advice please. We had a complaint from our (lovely) old neighbor in the past when we played piano around 7.30pm since then we have never played the piano(with a sound) after 7pm(she is a nice old lady living on her own). We had another complaint today at 5.30pm that we are not considerate and "need to respect the others" and "the wall is really thin" and she cant stand the piano noise. I was told that our 9 yrs old has been playing 30mins or something in the afternoon. Is it too much? Does it mean we are not allowed to play at all. We are only home 3 afternoon a week, should I ask her if these 3 afternoons for 30mins is reasonable. We live in a terraced(although not too small) and the other neighbors have never complaint. We play some on Sundays only as we are packed with activities on Saturdays, so 30 mins 3 days a week and 1hour Sunday. What happens if she still doesnt want it(impression is she knows we have silent piano and she said we should always be on silent however we were advised by our teacher to listen to the real sound is better for her practice - the piano is an U3S-silent

I personally think don't do anything. Some people just take the piss. This woman shouldn't be complaining about piano 'noise' at 5:30. It's just ridiculous. Am sure if you were like me - a scary brown lady with a scarier brown husband she wouldn't have dared to complain unless it reached council complaint levels.

Are we saying no one who lives in a terraced or semi detached house can play a musical instrument now? Because this is what some of you appear to be suggesting.

Are we saying no one who lives in a terraced or semi detached house can play a musical instrument now? Because this is what some of you appear to be suggesting.
The thing is that the DD can play the instrument without annoying anyone but isn't (despite the OP saying that they bought one with silence specially). If you can make someone's life better without it actually inconveniencing you then why not do so? Then it would be a win, win.

The digital sound through the headphones isn't the same as the real acoustic sound. She needs to be able to play with real sound at least some of the time. Exams, concerts, performances etc will all be with acoustic sound so she needs to practice for that. Scales, exercises, working out tricky passages etc though could presumably be done on silent mode.

To answer few of you asking why dont we use the headphone, I have been repeatedly saying that we do all the times, except these recent (may be the last 3 weeks) for 30mins in the 3afternoons a week and before 5.30. Other practice time we do put our headphone on. Its also important to hear it without the headphone, I'd sacrify the Sundays 1 hour rather than these 3x30mins.

And yes, we are international and usually the moment our neighbors need anything or want anything we will jump(we do make her the front door pavement and the fence etc for her), other neighbors allowed to park infront or our driveways as we hardly use our car during the week and our nanny collects delivery for almost everyone near by(and return). We respect the elders however this is the hardest as it could put her off practice during the week, if it was me then I even happily stop playing at all.

Just because you're saying it's only the last 3 weeks DD hasn't been using the earphones doesn't make it okay though. Your neighbour is find it v. annoying. You have a way of avoiding that. But you don't seem to want to. I get that it's useful to actually hear the music sometimes but 3 times during the week plus Sundays, at random times is a bit much when you're in a terraced house, know you're pissing off your neighbour and have a way round it.

MakaiTenjyo seems to be on a mission to be as goady as possible on as many threads as possible this morning. hmm

I think they've now 'left the building' by the scruff of the neck.

I think you're being absolutely considerate already.

You have already
not practiced in the evenings,
Turned the piano sound off,
And
Restricted your dds practice to three half hour sessions a week.

Now you're going to install a soundproofing system!!

Can your DD play in school before starting time?
Can your DD practice in school after classes?

Your DD will need to practice more than that. After grade 5 pieces and scales get more complicated, and you're not being fair on your DD by restricting her life just because your neighbour in a terraced house has a problem.

TBH, I think noise pollutant officials would laugh your neighbour out of the office.

You have done what you can, if she has anything else to say, maybe contact a mediator?

I think your neighbour is being unreasonable, there are limits to the world, you're not able to sort this woman's issues out. Are you to lobby for a change to flight paths or spread straw on the roads for her too?

You've done the absolutely maximum already.

Her problems with her hearing and her anxiety about noise are not your problems. You've bent over backward to help her out, but your DD and family have every right to live without walking on eggshells or thinking of moving house to get away from this woman. She may be distressed as the first signs of dementia, but that's not your problem either. Of course you are compassionate towards her, but she's not your responsibility, your DD is.

I have to say there's a tiny part of me saying why not invite all your dds pals in the orchestra over for a jam a couple of evenings, and then pare it back to just practicing the piano every day, as a compromise. Make sure there are plenty of violins and piccolos.

Do t be a pushover. I think your neighbour is playing the little old lady card, but is actually abusing her position.

You have a responsibility to yourself, your DD and family. Don't shirk it and kowtow to someone who could have a problem with a mouse fart.

Contact a mediator if she continues to complain. I think you've done plenty to sort it out. I suspect she would like zero practice, but that's not on the cards. And now you feel like moving!!

She's definitely overstepped the mark, and is unnecessarily distressing YOU!
Mediation may be the way forward.

^I think you're being absolutely considerate already.
You have already
not practiced in the evenings,
Turned the piano sound off,
And
Restricted your dds practice to three half hour sessions a week.^

But she hasn't - she's turned the sound back on all the time - that's the problem!!

It's s good job she didn't live next door to my husband who as a teen awoke every day at 6am to do homework then piano practice before school followed by around 3 hours of practice every night.

If its before 11pm its perfectly reasonable although she might not like it - move piano, muffle the sound if you can but carry on.

Id be minded to say it drowns out her tv etc if she carried on

meant to add where you have been so considerate already

I would personally say that all practice should finish by 9pm but don't restrict your children if they are eager.

I really think that it is okay to ask politely if you can go and listen to the sound from her house. Phrase it that you need to work out what form of insulation or better location would work best (which is true) rather than that you don't believe her.
It may well be that the chimney is amplifying the sound, as PP's suggest, in which case you need to move the piano.
But if she's being fussy and will object to the sound whether it is moved or not then you need to decide whether your child wearing headphones or an unhappy neighbour matters to you more...

You are very considerate. We rented a semi where next door lived two music teachers and am dram enthusiasts. Alongside all her pupils coming to the house to play piano and violin, they blocked our drive with their cars.

They would also have get togethers with like-minded people (see pic upthread) and sang Ying Tong yiddle I po at 3 am as well as being drunk in the garden. These people I would guess as in their early sixties. She would also come in regularly singing opera loudly at midnight and then listen to her answerphone messages.

When I approached she denied everything (?) and said I must have supersonic hearing. I then told her what her answerphone messages said and she looked shocked.

Problem was the house had been empty for some time and the lovely old lady who had lived there slept in the tiny box room away from the adjoining wall. We soon understood why.

Compared to these selfish muppets you are being incredibly reasonable. I think when you are older and maybe lonely, it is becoming a bigger issue than it really is and will need careful handling. You and your family have a right to live as you see fit in your own home and there is no way you are behaving remotely like I have described.

My dc's piano teacher has asked that they play out loud rather than on silent because it affects how loudly they play - she finds they are a bit heavy on the keys and suspects it is from playing with headphones at home. I would agree about going round and discussing the best times to practice.

30 minutes a couple of times a week ?? At reasonable hours ?? Neighbour needs to get over herself.

We live in a terrace too, an element of give and take comes with that. They hear us, we hear them. Meh, so long as both parties are generally considerate we don't have any issues.

Only concession I would make is if the piano is on casters to move it during practice then move it back ??

Until op has established how the chimney is impacting the sound I don't think the amount of practice is relevant

It sounds like the neighbour doesn't complain a lot so go and find out exactly what she's complaining about

It does sound very much like the chimney could be amplifying the sound. I would be inclined to order a sheet of egg profile acoustic foam, let your neighbour know that you are going to soundproof that section of wall and say you suspect the chimney might be amplifying the sound.

I do think you should ask very politely if you can listen from her side, as it will show her you are taking it seriously whilst letting you know how reasonable her concerns are.

Look I hate hate hate neighbour noise it would drive me mad so I think if you can easily do something to lessen it (e.g. move it away from chimney or put something under it/against the wall to prevent reverberation) then you should just to be nice. On the other hand I don't think we can claim OP's DD should never ever play the piano without headphones. Three times a week for half an hour sounds totally reasonable.

My elderly neighbour likes to play his piano, I like listening to it too. If I play music, he doesn't bang on the wall either. That's Victorian terrace living.

Whilst it is Terrace living - if the piano being pushed up against the chimney is making it worse the OP should show some consideration.

Without going round to hear it herself it is impossible to tell whether or not the neighbour is unreasonable

This is bizarre.

Surely there is somewhere between silent/headphone on and full blast volume? (There is on my Yamaha).

Why not just have sound on but not too loud?

One point that has not been made is that a U3 S is a huge load piano that is designed for institutional use - schools etc. It also does not have a celeste rail to dampen the sound of required (though obviously this would not be suitable for practising dynamics). Would a smaller, quieter piano have been more suitable for a terrace?

Surely there is somewhere between silent/headphone on and full blast volume? (There is on my Yamaha).

Oof, are you John Shuttleworth?