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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Terraced house next to an old lady who complaint about our piano playing

201 replies

Greenleave · 31/01/2017 20:25

I have asked on the music thread although was also hoping for a wider mumsnet readers for a advice please. We had a complaint from our (lovely) old neighbor in the past when we played piano around 7.30pm since then we have never played the piano(with a sound) after 7pm(she is a nice old lady living on her own). We had another complaint today at 5.30pm that we are not considerate and "need to respect the others" and "the wall is really thin" and she cant stand the piano noise. I was told that our 9 yrs old has been playing 30mins or something in the afternoon. Is it too much? Does it mean we are not allowed to play at all. We are only home 3 afternoon a week, should I ask her if these 3 afternoons for 30mins is reasonable. We live in a terraced(although not too small) and the other neighbors have never complaint. We play some on Sundays only as we are packed with activities on Saturdays, so 30 mins 3 days a week and 1hour Sunday. What happens if she still doesnt want it(impression is she knows we have silent piano and she said we should always be on silent however we were advised by our teacher to listen to the real sound is better for her practice - the piano is an U3S-silent

OP posts:
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MissVictoria · 31/01/2017 21:38

Yeah you really need to put something sound absorbing behind it, thats going to sound stupidly loud in her house. We live in an old terrace and the neighbours running up and down the stairs at all hours is loud enough to wake us up (sounds like wood no carpet and in steel toe caps!) Piano noise would drive me insane, even "just" 3 30 minute sessions a week and an hour on a weekend.

Original poster
Greenleave · 31/01/2017 21:38

The play room is fitted everywhere with book cases, yes, it could have been the chimneys that made it worse as she was upset and angry today(I was told). On Sundays we play around 11am(we are Sunday late risers as Sunday is the only day we could sleep until whatever the hour is)

OP posts:
Lunar1 · 31/01/2017 21:39

If you won't move it from the chimney then you need to make your dd use headphones every time. The echoing this will cause it completely unreasonable and not normal family noise.

NoSquirrels · 31/01/2017 21:39

Perhaps your DD is playing right at the time she usually watches her favourite programme, or telephones her friend? Try to ask when would be OK for your DD to practice on the days you're in. Perhaps no more than 20 minutes at a time?

Have you explained she needs to hear herself sometimes? Go round when your DD is playing and hear it for yourself - you'll probably be surprised how loud it is. you almost certainly really need to move the piano!

PovertyPain · 31/01/2017 21:39

Why don't you ask her if you can go into her house while you daughter us playing the piano? That way you'll better understand what it sounds like in her house.

TheSpottedZebra · 31/01/2017 21:39

Really, you need to move the piano. If that means moving your bookcases, so be it.
Can the piano go in another room? Can you oven it away from the wall if there isn't another wall?

RedastheRose · 31/01/2017 21:40

It sounds to me like you are making excuses as to why your room shouldn't be moved round rather than being reasonable and just moving the piano. You seem to just want everyone to say that the hours of practice are fine and that you are doing everything that you can! Fair enough your daughter isn't playing a great deal but it is clearly upsetting your neighbour and if you are friendly with her it probably took quite a lot for her to come round and say that to you. Just be a good neighbour and move the piano even if it upsets the look of your room.

PovertyPain · 31/01/2017 21:41

Put the piano in front of the bookcase. Which is more important, losing the use of a bookcase or the good will of your neighbour?

Original poster
Greenleave · 31/01/2017 21:42

I dont want to be rude to check how loud it is if we hear it from her side. Its a terrace however rather big one and my house is a completely open planned downstair. There is a place in the kitchen however it will damage the piano with the heat, cooking dusts.

OP posts:
Lunar1 · 31/01/2017 21:45

Put the piano upstairs on an internal wall (away from the chimney).

BarbarianMum · 31/01/2017 21:45

Yes I think you need to move some bookcases too, sorry. After that I think you've done what you can.

TheAntiBoop · 31/01/2017 21:47

Well you are definitely being unreasonable now. If you really cared about your neighbour you would move it from the chimney.

Original poster
Greenleave · 31/01/2017 21:50

All units are fitted like this, its truly no other place. I will check with yamaha if we could soundproof at the back of the piano eventhough its now 5cm away from the wall

Terraced house next to an old lady who complaint about our piano playing
OP posts:
Notcontent · 31/01/2017 21:50

I think your neighbour is being very unreasonable.

I live in a terrace so I know what it's like. I can hear my neighbour's hairdryer, vacuum cleaner, TV, music, etc.

It's impossible to prevent noise being audible. The only thing that is possible is to ensure the noise is at reasonable times and that the noise itself is not unreasonable - e.g.stupidly loud music.

Littlepleasures · 31/01/2017 21:53

It's the lack of control over the peace and quiet in your own space that eventually gets to you especially if you are not a noisy person yourself. The sound of a piano, especially against the echo chamber of a shared chimney breast, permeates the whole house and if you are elderly and don't or can't go out much it must be terrible. I'd love a piano but in a semi I'd never inflict that level of,intrusion on my neighbours. It sounds like you are affecting her mental health. She must feel powerless to get you to understand how she feels.
I was nearly driven to distraction by my neighbours penchant for Elvis played full blast with the windows wide open, making any chance of being able to relax in my house or garden virtually nil. When she wasn't playing it I got to the point where I would be tensing up waiting for it to start. It definitely compromised my mental health.
You must move it , I cant believe you can't rearrange the furniture, or keep it on headphones. Have you heard it from her side of the wall? I would ask her then judge if you'd like that level of intrusion yourself. Moving it would also mean you wouldn't be tense about the whole issue either.

TheAntiBoop · 31/01/2017 21:53

Try sticking some thick duvets between the piano and the wall.

melj1213 · 31/01/2017 21:54

I dont want to be rude to check how loud it is if we hear it from her side.

So you'd rather be rude and disturb her peace and quiet for the forseeable future instead?

YABU now, people are giving you very good ideas of how to improve the situation and all you are doing is offering excuses as to why you need to continue doing exactly what you are doing, with no changes to your behaviour at all. Yes your neighbour is BU about her complaints, but that doesn't absolve you of doing as much as possible to help..

PovertyPain · 31/01/2017 21:54

I was a bit sympathetic, when you first posted, OP, you're now making every excuse you can think off to avoid moving the piano. I think you thought that all the posters would agree with the first couple who thought it was ok to ignore the neighbour. You've already said she's a nice woman, so it sounds as if she has good reason to be annoyed.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 31/01/2017 21:55

I'm not sure what part of fitted bookcases posters are not getting. I got it without the pictures OP. And no you shouldn't put the piano in front, how ridiculous would that look. Its 2.5 hours a week! Your neighbour can suck it up.

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 31/01/2017 21:56

While the hours of playing the piano are fine and would be normal noise I think you need to suckling it up and move some book cases fitted or not.
Putting the piano up against a chimney wall is like when my Dd puts her phone in a plastic cup to play music. The chimney is a huge speaker in to your neighbours house. That is not what bid class as reasonable noise. Pianos can be quite loud anyway but the location of yours is making it worse.
You keep saying she seemed annoyed and that you have a close relationship with her. Think how at the end of her tether she must be to have been outwardly terse with you. You need to move the piano.

TheAntiBoop · 31/01/2017 21:56

Agree that you need to go round to hear it for yourself.

And agree that you aren't really trying to help the situation because moving the piano will inconvenience you

We live in a terrace and got an electric piano precisely to stop these issues

MelOrSue · 31/01/2017 21:56

I think I'd move the piano too. Your daughter will presumably be wanting to play it for many more years so it would be worth the trouble.

It sounds like you have been reasonable and it's good that you have stopped her playing in the evening however I know that if I were your neighbour I would find it extremely irritating. The sound of a piano being practiced on is painful. 😳 It's not got anything to do with how good you DD is.

I don't think anyone is being particularly unreasonable but my sympathies lie with your neighbour.

PovertyPain · 31/01/2017 21:57

Take the top doors of and use the shelves. Use the bottom for long term storage.

Original poster
Greenleave · 31/01/2017 21:59

She is a nice lady, I dont doubt about it, thats why I am asking it here as I was surprised she complains again after last time. Playing less is def not an option, it sounds like moving is the only option now. Will speak to someone to remove the units in the play room. Thanks everyone, I wouldnt thought of the chimneys, it must have been it to make it worse.

OP posts:
Donthate · 31/01/2017 21:59

I imagine being in front of the fireplace is absolutely horrendous for her. If your downstairs is large and open plan why can't the piano be freestanding in the middle of a room somewhere. It doesn't have to be pushed up against a wall or chimney