the fucking dog....

[inthefuckingdoghouse]

Has snuck downstairs in the dead of night, somehow managed to eat some food that we left on the worktops (food for a party we are supposed to have today), peed on the floor, and completely trashed the rubbish bins. We usually close the door, and I'm absolutely certain I did. Maybe DD went downstairs in the night or something. Or maybe the dog has figured out how to open doors.
AIBU to be a little bit mad at the dog?

For the most recent school cake sale I made a double portion of Anzac biscuits and left them on the counter overnight. I was sure that he couldn't reach that far back from the edge, but clearly he managed it. He ate almost all of them, about 40 biscuits, and looked like he was pregnant for about three days. DS went into school and told his teacher that the dog had eaten his homework (they get the night off written work so that they can cook for the cake sale).

We were worried that the dog would be very ill as he has to have a special diet for a sensitive stomach, but he was ok apart from the most noxious farts and runny poos.

I can't believe Lurchers have only been mentioned once in seven pages of a food stealing thread!

After rescuing our lovely boy, I left him for a few minutes in the kitchen diner with our collie/lab cross. Shrill barking from established dog brought me back in to an open bin, rubbish strewn into every corner and a very large, steaming poo.

I honestly don't know how he had time!

We installed a baby gate to the opening of the kitchen and stuck the bin in there. He can clear the gate effortlessly. We now have to put 2 chairs in front to stop him jumping.

Established dog is a telltale though... she has a special bark for, "Bracken's being bad." Although she was quite happy to share the enormous artisan garlic bread he pulled down off the top of the cooker...

If he's been up to no good while we're out, we always know because he hides himself under his blanket and pretends not to be there .

For those who say he should be better trained. He came to us starving just 6 months ago. We can take his half finished food away and he will wait patiently for us to put it back. He won't start his meal until we say (pools of drool!) and will take food really gently from your hand if invited, but he won't touch if not.

He's just a bloody great opportunist if left unsupervised!

Oh, and he can open doors...

As if on cue...that bag had 6 bread rolls in it.

Standard lab behaviour! My friends guide dog ate a full birthday cake; candles and all. Pooped them out again outside Glasgow central

We have 2 labradors. Also a cat (we inherited the cat, I'm not a fan of cats) the cat steels anything and doesn't seem to know or care that it's wrong. It's taken me over a year to get used to putting the butter away and other stuff.
As for the dogs, they'd never steel while we are in the room. They wouldn't get up on worktops either. But the older one (she is mum) loves going through the bin. The kids only need to leave the cupboard open a crack and she's in. I'm sure her daughter helps but I've never caught her. I was in the living room recently and daughter lab came in at speed, panicked shot out, wouldn't go in the kitchen, I wondered what was up. Went in the kitchen to find the contents of the bin, teabags, egg shells, potato peelings etc all over the floor. Poor daughter lab was terrified of being told off (no, I've never beaten her but she acts like I have) mum lab was cowering down in the middle of the mess, also acting like I was going to beat her. When she's done wrong she screws her lips up like she's laughing. They both definitely know it's wrong. Daughter lab is scared but her mum couldn't give a toss!

I had a dog that ate an entire stilton cheese and a whole Christmas cake one Christmas Day - greedy bugger! And yes, it was a lab

When she's done wrong she screws her lips up like she's laughing.

I can't belive you said that! My old black lab (sadly put down last year) did exactly the same thing when he did something wrong. I used to say he looked like a hyena! God I miss him

I see your party food OP and raise you A WHOLE BUCKET OF CHICKEN SHIT.

We keep hens. I was moving a 50litre bin full of chicken poop. The dog jumped up to see what it was (she's a small terrier), and knocked the bin all over her. She then rolled in and ate the chicken shit.

I had to put her in a bag for life to carry her through the house to the bathroom to hose her off. (I turned it inside out with her inside like you do with a poo bag so I didn't have to touch her as she was completely coated in shit.)

And not only does she STILL smell like chicken shit, she is doing chicken shitty farts. Every three minutes.

So no YANBU, but I bloody am. ARRGH

Depends on your door handles but not impossible that Dog can open them, eg if they have handles rather than knobs! I grew up with a very cunning and determined cat thief. He could open the fridge and eventually it was wedged shut with a large iron weight. He could open the oven and retrieve food ( so that had to be barricaded), and also flip the kitchen cupboards open ( so a complex web of string was introduced). He was also known to open the bread bin to have a chew, so an anti theft device was rigged up for that as well...It was a constant battle of wits, human V Cat. No matter how maddening, it's part of sharing your life with a pet I guess.

Equally as distressing (I feel it is, anyway ), when I was a teenager our beautiful black lab puppy ate my brand new Italian sandals that I spent all of my holiday money on. When I say ate, I mean mangled beyond all hope, I was in tears but she had such a look of unbridled joy about her chops that it was hard to stay cross with her.

Ddog will not touch her food until given permission, you can take it off her etc etc she is still a sneaky food thief, will double check the dining table if no-one is around - complete opportunist.

She's a rescue who was previously starved I love how she lives completely in the moment always happy to see one of us.

My late Border Collie once ate a used (no.2) nappy....

Doors are easy for a lab. They just have to jump up at the handles. We turned all the handles upside down for a greedy Irish Red Setter.

Alcin, we also had a cat and dog that teamed up, any meat left unattended was fair game.

Same setter ate apple cores and teabags out of the bin, any handy wasp or bee and whatever treats our tortie cat could bat down off high shelves for her.

My vet described Labradors as 'A life support system for a stomach.' We have also had cat and dog tag teams.

Aww, I love how our animals keep us grounded! Our mutt ate a box of crackers (of the Jacob's variety) yesterday

I raise all of you - 1 beagle
In the first year..
1 box of rat poison on Xmas day had to have stomach pumped.
1 nappy bin full of about 4 nappies. Which he then vomited down the stairs
2 pairs of sunglasses
4 pairs of used knickers from a visiting guest ( ate out the crotches ) spat the rest over the room
1 tub full of beautifully wrapped up Xmas chocolates ( he spat out the ones he didn't like)
A whole Xmas cake - fruit with marzipan & icing.
And various steaks and sausages straight from the BBQ.
He also enjoys shoes / underwear ( used only) teddies - kids toys,
He also
Runs away a lot and is well known in the neighbourhood
I am permenatley embarrassed by he actions . 😰

mrsk247syd You don't live down the road from me do you. I watched a beagle poop out a rubber glove, two days running while dog walking recently. The owner was just standing there looking sheepish. Apparently she uses the rubber gloves to pick up other things the dog has already shat out.

We have a Weimaraner (our second) she can open doors, and bins.
We have a baby gate in the Hall, lockable bin and we're careful not to leave food out in the kitchen. Basically any thing left out and its hers.
If we forget to click the gate, lock the bin or leave anything edible out it registers with her but she will wait until we're out of sight before she pounces. She knows it wrong but I think her Stomach takes over.
The first Weim we had once took a frozen pork joint off the kitchen counter and ran down the garden with it.

Totally not related to anything but thank you all for this post - been sat here laughing out loud at some of the antics, a very much needed laugh! My cats are thieving wotsits, I now have to turn the bin round in the kitchen to stop one cat opening it and getting in it...... I used to have a ginger one who was indeed a completely 'bold as brass' villain happy to steal food from right under your nose.

For years we've had JRTs and never had an issue with them stealing food or going through the bins. (Although one of our JRTs, chewed open a box of pantyliners and scattered them all over the sofa, just as I was welcoming guests through the front door!!)
Now though, we have a Lab cross ... different story altogether!! So far, he's finished off a pack of Jammie Dodgers I left on the coffee table before bedtime, eaten the spongy bit that sits under the raw steak in the packaging and soaks up all the blood, stolen half a french stick off the dining table and buried it in the flower beds, consumed a pack and a half of boiled sweets, and rummaged around in the bins for whatever he might be able to find!!

He certainly knows when he's done wrong. He won't run to the door to greet me, but will rather lie on the mat and watch me with his "sad eyes".
Wouldn't change him for the world, though.

I had put a roast leg of lamb on my windowsill to defrost as I forgot to take it out the night before. I had popped out, and it happened to be the day my garden helper was here. I got back and went out to get the meat and it was gone. I thought I was going mad, looked back in the freezer, microwave, the usual places for meat... Nothing.

So I went out to ask the gardener had he seen what happened to it. I don't live in UK, and the gardener spoke very little English. He says, 'yes, the dogs...so clever'. He said that they had worked as a team, Labrador stood under the window and the puppy got on his back and nicked the lamb. I reckon although he was just the foundation, the lab got most of it. The puppy was only about 4 months old at the time, so I am sure he told her to go and get it...

Ah, my old Labrador boy. He passed last week. I forgive you for scoffing all the lamb that day my boy...

My dog is a relentless counter surfer. She'll do it for food but mostly it's just 'stuff'. Anything she can chew up basically and woe betide you if the bin is accessible!

Because of this she is now crated at night/whenever we go out as it stops the constant, infuriating cycle. (Not so D) H is hopeless at remembering this and left her out last night. Cue trashed kitchen. I am irritated with the dog but furious with him. She consumed a a significant amount from a bottle of ketchup, amongst other things. No ill effects as yet.

MrsK I love your beagle but am very glad I don't own him