the fucking dog....

[inthefuckingdoghouse]

Has snuck downstairs in the dead of night, somehow managed to eat some food that we left on the worktops (food for a party we are supposed to have today), peed on the floor, and completely trashed the rubbish bins. We usually close the door, and I'm absolutely certain I did. Maybe DD went downstairs in the night or something. Or maybe the dog has figured out how to open doors.
AIBU to be a little bit mad at the dog?

Yep. You snooze you lose.

We have a 'the fuckin rabbit'.......situation here. Usually its the dog but fluffy has (AGAIN) munched her way thru an internet cable. How she does it without getting a shock I just dont know!
But thats another £20 cable to replace.
DDog isnt perfect, he will steal/lick/help himself to anything remotely edible. He gives no fucks if you're holding food or standing beside him, he will be on the countertop! Bastard!! He's not a lab, he's a vizsla!
my old collie regularly emptied the bin and opened the fridge for grub! But she was fly, she would lift her bed over the mess of the bin/whatever she stole from the fridge and hide it!! I miss her slyness!!

Our cat and dog are forces together,dog (dachshund) can't reach table and surfaces but with her best furry friend our cat (Siamese) they plot and plan together regularly,dog watches and tells cat puts plan to action both share the proceeds

When Tylergreyhound swallowed the cork it was quite spectacular. He had eaten his food Saturday afternoon and gone in the g
arden. Sunday morning he had his food and a walk and then se
ttled down on his bed in front of mum. Suddenly he went BLEUUUUUUUUUGH and up came breakfast! Mum suddenly said "Oh my God he's thrown up a battery (amongst the food!) She picked it up and then said "it very bendy for a battery dear!" and we realised it was a cork!!! He had obviously found and swallowed it Saturday PM and Sundays food had gone as far as the cork and it had all reappeared , were very glad he had swallowed it lengthways and not widthways!!!

Haha at dog donuts

In my experience, border collies can open doors both away and towards themselves.
Labs can open doors away from them.

If the dog has been neutered it spund slike fucking is the only thing he didn't do last night!😜

*sounds like!

Neonrainbow, I disagree about dogs not understanding consequences! On the few occasions that my lab got in the bins/ate food from the counter/ate an entire 2 tier chocolate cake , I knew he had done something wrong as soon as I got down the stairs as he'd be cowering in his bed with his tail between his face, doing the most ridiculous downfaced, looking at me with side eyes type look, with ears pinned to his head.

That should say tail between his legs

My dad's old lab ate four landing windowsills. Then he fitted a stairgate.

Wow clever dog.

My Dil and Ds's dog (labrador/retreiver cross) helped herself to an extremely large fish pie which I had left to cool for my New Years eve party.....there were quite a few of us around chatting in the kitchen diner she was so sneaky and quiet how none of us noticed?
My poor Dil was so mortified I couldn't complain much and the dog really did have a "hang dog" expression, she knew she had been naughty.
My DS, however laughed like a drain!!

My childhood cat ate half the turkey (mum always cooked it late Xmas eve then left under clingfilm and foil and teatowels)... the cat got into it, ate it's bodyweight and then some and actually fell asleep on one of the teatowels she had dragged off.

We had similar except the cat pushed the carcass on the floor so the dog would get the blame. The poor dog did get the blame until my DM finally realised that there was no way the dog could have reached it. Cat was nowhere to be seen by that point.

I have a friend who is a professional dog trainer. For situations like this, her training advice is as follows:

1. Get a newspaper, ideally a substantial one
2. Roll it up, as tightly as you can
3. Beat yourself soundly round the head with it, reciting "I must not leave stuff where the dog can get it"
4. Do this repeatedly several times a day, until the message has sunk in.

I have Lakeland terriers, who are clever, crafty and agile. Thankfully, they are also fairly small, which makes it hard for them to reach stuff on worktops etc.

However, it does mean that if the kitchen table is a few inches closer than usual, Lola Loudmouth-Lakie will climb on to the seat of a chair, onto the table, then balance precariously on the back of a chair and leap onto the worktop.

Luckily, all she's ever got is a few dog treats, as we never leave anything else out. Even stuff defrosting goes in a plastic container.

I have a lab who would never steal food. I can leave an uncovered cooked chicken on the worktop and she would not touch it. I have tested her by leaving a few nuggets of her food on a chair opposite her bed then gone out. The nuggets were still there on my return. I can also stop her eating her food half way through. I trained her to only eat food on my command from a pup and she has only ever stolen one sandwich when she was a tiny pup.

We will not talk about her recall though - entirely different story!

I had a dog like that blue he was a collie cross. He was SUCH a good boy.
Then he got older and started doing what the feck he wanted

You couldn't leave anything and I kept finding him with the bin lid round his neck!

I knew he had done something wrong as soon as I got down the stairs as he'd be cowering in his bed with his tail between his face

My old dog did this! I'd come home/come downstairs to the guilty face and would then have to go room to room to try and figure out what she had done

She must have had a pretty low bar for bad behaviour because I would often not find any evidence of wrongdoing but she would look guilty and act very contrite anyway

My dog would be hiding upstairs before she'd even seen me so she had to know that she'd done something wrong.

I think it totally insults their intelligence to say they don't know - of course they know consequences (positive and negative) that's how you train them to do stuff. Some are cleverer than others, obviously.

Saying that it used to irritate me when OH would shout at her or my mum and dad would complain because 'Star's eaten a loaf of bread again!'.. she obviously just couldn't help herself so seems a bit pointless to shout / complain, just don't leave stuff out/shut the doors!

Dogs honestly don't 'know they've done wrong'. They don't feel guilt like us humans. They are reacting to your reactions. Even if you don't think you have shown any signs or irritation or annoyance dogs are masters at reading micro emotions that we aren't even aware of expressing.

Interesting articleHERE

The other day I put my new sunglasses on, the vision didn't seem right, but I there was something obscuring my view in the left lens?! Took them off, had an inspection and found a set of dog sized teeth marks in them - the little sod!! Still love him to bits though!

SootDog won't eat food left out, despite being big enough to reach. Dropped food is another matter. I never have to worry about spills as nothing ever even hits the floor.

My dog ate the Christmas cake and the Quality st chocolates on Christmas morning and lay there practically comatose and shitting chocolate fruit cake throughout our Christmas dinner.
If it was a fruit cake then I'm amazed that your dog wasn't laying there dead because even fairly small quantities of dried fruit kills them. People don't seem to realise. Luckily the chocolate on the Quality Street probably wasn't decent enough to do much damage other than dodgy guts.

Humans fault

If you leave food on the side, for the dog its the same as if someone held a sizzling steak under your nose.
I bet he's been able to open the door all along.

if the door opens inwards to the kitchen it is possible!! our dog opens the front door himself, if only he would learn to shut it behind him!!