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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

the fucking dog....

207 replies

inthefuckingdoghouse · 29/01/2017 08:40

Has snuck downstairs in the dead of night, somehow managed to eat some food that we left on the worktops (food for a party we are supposed to have today), peed on the floor, and completely trashed the rubbish bins. We usually close the door, and I'm absolutely certain I did. Maybe DD went downstairs in the night or something. Or maybe the dog has figured out how to open doors.
AIBU to be a little bit mad at the dog?

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 29/01/2017 12:21

Oh god we've had Similair before . We've had a "that fucking dog " moment this morning involving poo.

Good job we love them eh !!

CaraAspen · 29/01/2017 12:21

OP:

So let me get this right: you actually left party food out overnight? Riiiight.

hostinthemaking · 29/01/2017 12:23

A visiting dog once ate my ds's braces. Not dog's fault, our fault for leaving stuff within easy access

Wales2018 · 29/01/2017 12:36

I used to have four Malamutes. They had a dog gate and were kept in a downstairs room when I went out. Once, I went out for an hour to do some shopping. When I came in, there were four dogs in the kitchen as I'd left them, only the baby gate was open and there was a large hole in the kitchen door.

It soon transpired that they'd broken down both door and baby gate downstairs, opened the upstairs spare room door and worked their way through eating :

2 boxes of £25 Harrods champagne truffles, 8 Cadburys selection boxes, 4 tins of Roses, 6 boxes of Matchmakers, about 20 chocolate oranges and a Lush box.

They had no symptoms other than shitting coloured foil for a day or so. Oh and they weren't that keen on bath bombs but still ate most of them.

HelsBels5000 · 29/01/2017 12:39

Stairgates are your friend - in fact the higher level dog gates are better for labrador size!
This naughty /greedy behaviour is not exclusive to labs though - our cocker spaniel stole a tub of humous from the table and wolfed down the lot. Then proceeding to poo and projectile vomit all over the shaggy lounge rug. The rug is destined for the tip - the dog vomit/houmous smell is one which I will not forget in a hurry Envy stupid bloody dog!

cricketballs · 29/01/2017 12:59

going back to the discussion as to whether a dog knows they are in trouble - my spaniel has specific looks for

1 - I need to go out and roll in shit
2 - I managed to find the only mud in the Sahara Dessert and you want to bath me
3 - you obviously haven't fed me for 3 years and I need my food now
4 - if you don't throw this ball the very mini second I put it at your feet I am going to think you no longer love me

I don't care what these studies have found - she knows when she has done something she shouldn't have done; its the only time she goes under the table rather than being at the front door when we get home

hmcAsWas · 29/01/2017 13:02

My dog is a bastard when it comes to food too. When I put food on the table and call the dc downstairs I have to stand guard by it until they appear because even if left for 30 secs unguarded it would be snaffled.

If he was allowed to eat everything he desired he would be super morbidly obese

LilCamper · 29/01/2017 13:08

Yeah cricket...cause science is wrong hey? Hmm

PorkyScratchings · 29/01/2017 13:20

Our dog managed to jump over the dog sized stair gate, eat most of a 12kg bag of rice and pebble-dash the utility room. That was grim.

PorkyScratchings · 29/01/2017 13:25

@LilCamper that doesn't explain the guilty reaction when you have no idea that they have done something bad.
We knew our lab had shredded a kitchen sponge because she would be hiding under the dining room table rather than greeting us at the door. She was never punished for it either, so why she felt she'd been bad I've got no idea.

SlankyBodger · 29/01/2017 13:30

Our cats know that everything, everything, is there entirely for their use and entertainment. They know this, and have made sure we know it too.

Therefore, we are sneaky bastards and hide things we don't want them to have, or put covers on food to foil their attempts at gaining pleasure.

Mostly, though, they win.

stumpedifiknow · 29/01/2017 13:32

When I was about 11 my mum spent all day prepping the party food and laying it out on the table all ready for my birthday party. She locked the dogs in the kitchen and closed all doors so the cats couldn't get in either and off we went swimming. Came back 2 hours later and the dogs had managed to open the kitchen door and had had a little party of their own. Thanks dogs.

I've got two dogs now and they are as brazen as hell. If you don't eat a biscuit within the first 10 seconds of getting it out the packet they'll snatch it out of your hand. Never ever leave your food unattended at the table because they'll stand on your chair and scoff the lot. They once stripped the Christmas tree of chocolates and opened a sealed plastic tub of celebrations and demolished the lot that my mum had left on the coffee table. They are locked away in the utility room whenever no one is in because they can get in the bins and whilst it's annoying they are so greedy I'm worried for their health. It also upsets the kids when they steal food. Bloody dogs. Never again! Grin

YetAnotherSpartacus · 29/01/2017 13:37

She must have had a pretty low bar for bad behaviour because I would often not find any evidence of wrongdoing but she would look guilty and act very contrite anyway

'Heh', says Dog. I'm bored. Let's have some fun winding up sparechange.

Zaphodsotherhead · 29/01/2017 13:52

My big old boy (RIP) used to feel guilty on behalf of the terrier.

I'd always know when I got in from work that the terrier had done something bad, because the big dog would come to meet me with an expression that it's hard to describe, but I always knew what it meant.

Terrier used to dig all the ashes from the fire grate and scatter them round the room. Big dog's behaviour was absolutely exemplary, I could leave food anywhere, if he was told not to touch, he wouldn't.

I just have terriers now, and they have no shame. But they don't have much reach either, so it's all good.

Gabilan · 29/01/2017 14:35

This is interesting on what it is dogs are expressing.

I don't think it's a question of underestimating animal intelligence. Personally I think humans are actually quite stupid, aggressive, and not good at calculating risk. I think we often underestimate the intelligence of other animals. But I also think we misunderstand it. The research on whether dogs have a moral sense is in its early stages. I find it easier to work with horses, dogs and cats if I assume that they are very gifted at reading me but don't have a moral sense.

As to the dogs who look "guilty" before the owner has seen the damage - that could be a previous association. In the past the overturned bin has produced x reaction when the owner has returned. Therefore it will probably produce x reaction again, once the owner has found the bin. It doesn't need to be a sense of guilt (though it could be) just remembering what has happened previously.

LilCamper · 29/01/2017 14:36

Porky, read the article I linked to. That explains it.

PorkyScratchings · 29/01/2017 15:29

@LilCamper I did read the article. I can perfectly well believe that dogs can read our reactions when we see that they've done something 'naughty' but in the situation I'm referring to I came home, wondered where the dog was, found her in the dining room under the table and then went through to the kitchen to find the sponge chewed up. 😆

PorkyScratchings · 29/01/2017 15:32

Oh and just to be clear, she was pretty young, we had never punished for any kind of chewing (and wouldn't either. It's our fault it was within reach) and she'd never chewed a sponge before.

LilCamper · 29/01/2017 15:32

Has she been in trouble/told off for similar in the past?

PorkyScratchings · 29/01/2017 15:41

No, she really hadn't. She was still at the stage where we were making sure that stuff got put away and she only had her toys available.

Since then she's had other sponges and always goes and hides.

Crankycunt · 29/01/2017 15:51

Unborn that made me laugh, what a clever, busy, dog.

I knew it would be a lab, my old boy used to eat anything and everything. Including a raw turkey.

Stuffedshirt · 29/01/2017 15:55

We had a much loved golden retriever, who was so lovely, great with the kids, loving, obedient blah, blah, blah BUT SHE USED TO STEAL FOOD.

Over time she had a cauliflower, carrots, a cabbage, a loaf of bread, chicken, corn on the cobs, half a tub of butter (sleepily I buttered my toast and ate it, before I realised what the lick marks were), some sandwiches that had just been made, wrapped in tinfoil and in a rucksack, the top layer of a box of chocolates that were wrapped up in Christmas paper, and more besides. We still loved her but we had to learn to be very, very, careful.

cricketballs · 29/01/2017 15:59

LilCamper Yeah cricket...cause science is wrong hey? as with Porky she has never been told off - I can see as soon as I walk in the door that she has done something she shouldn't have done - she will be under the dining room table and that tells me there is a chewed up something somewhere; when we have all Dh, DSs seem to forget her love of socks, pants etc remembered to 'dog proof' the house then she greets us as soon as the car pulls in the drive

Toooldtobearsed · 29/01/2017 16:06

This thread is funny (sorryOp)

I have two labs. Mostly, they are little shits, but they are actually quite trustworthy with food.

Today, DH took pork out of oven and left it to rest on kitchen counter.

An hour later, we realised we had not clapped eyes on either dog and shot through to the kitchen. I wish i coild show you a picture..... You know when you see dogs sitting to attention, perfectly poised and looking very Crufts? Well, that was my two. They were staring at the pork. Older one quivering with excitement, and must have been there for some time because the pool, and i mean pool, not puddle, not bowlful, but POOL of drool they were sitting in was huge. How they were not dehydrated, i do not know!

Still, gives us a solution for when they are being pains in bum, sit them i in front of a tinfoil wrapped joint of meat and enjoy several hours peace and quiet 😉

altiara · 29/01/2017 16:16

My dog can open the utility door by barging it hard so he can eat the cat's food. So you may have closed the door just not right enough. Or it may not lock as tightly as you think.