the fucking dog....

[inthefuckingdoghouse]

Has snuck downstairs in the dead of night, somehow managed to eat some food that we left on the worktops (food for a party we are supposed to have today), peed on the floor, and completely trashed the rubbish bins. We usually close the door, and I'm absolutely certain I did. Maybe DD went downstairs in the night or something. Or maybe the dog has figured out how to open doors.
AIBU to be a little bit mad at the dog?

OK ... but tell me why this is ...

I've known a few kitty cats in my life and each and every time one of them has done something naughty they have known they will be in trouble and have made themselves absent or slunk around looking as contrite as it is possible for a cat to be. I once had a cat who visited from next door. One day he was by the door wanting out in his 'submissive' pose. I opened the door, he yowled and lashed out at me and fled. I checked my flat and eventually found he'd chewed a rather nice pendant. I swear he knew he'd be in trouble and was anticipating a telling off. Naughty boy! Gosh, I miss him.

My dog never chews anything. Except she decided to chew a parcel containing ds's birthday present from my aunt. I have no idea what was going through her head bloody animal

tomorrowillbeachicken- ew, but I'm sure he was proud of himself!

If it helps at all my DS was an escape artist, he would creep out in the middle of the night and climb up onto the kitchen surfaces and getting into the treat cupboard.

We couldn't figure out how he was getting up on the surfaces, till we figured the dog was helping him up and the small child was then dropping dog treats down to him.

We thought we had solved the problem, will we came downstairs one day to find DS had figured out the child lock on the fridge, eaten the chocolate and given the dog a block of butter and a block of cheese.

The dog looked damn pleased with himself, but was sick for the next few days

For the next few months myself and DP did night watch to make sure it stopped it

We have round handles for this reason. Springer was even letting himself out of the front door if it wasn't locked!

My childhood cat ate half the turkey (mum always cooked it late Xmas eve then left under clingfilm and foil and teatowels)... the cat got into it, ate it's bodyweight and then some and actually fell asleep on one of the teatowels she had dragged off.

She was a legend.

Daily occurance in our house also! we now have child locks on the cupboards however as he went through a phase of attacking the pasta cupboard and playing with it's contents. Honestly dry spaghetti is the hardest thing in the world to pick up off the floor! used to drive me batty.

I'm glad I'm not alone All these horror stories make my dog sound quite tame!

Labrador!!!

The pissing would have pissed me off more than the food.

Hopefully they won't be ill & you'll be able to replace the food.

I bet it was worth it for him

Just to add, the bin is also now locked away as he liked emptying that all over the floor too. Gross!

My old boy could open doors, as he was huge he could also reach everywhere I could! I had child locks on the cupboards years before having dc

Hats off to Crunchymum's cat!

One of my other cats helped himself to lasagne that was cooling on the kitchen counter.... it certainly was not pleasant later...

My old dog knew full well that she shouldn't get the bins out but she still did it - it was worth the consequences!! Absolutely rubbish to say they don't know!

If we got home and she had had the bins out, she would timidly loiter at the top of the stairs instead of coming to jump all over us like usual. So not sure how else you would explain that!

sobeyondthehills real partners in crime there

DDog is crated at night so no possibility of theft.

But I've had cats who stole: the icing off a piece of cake; some crackers out of my friend's bag (the shame!); the ham out of DM's sandwich while she was holding it; half the brunch DM had made for me and my bridesmaids the morning of my wedding; aforementioned bacon sandwich from some poor neighbour; a pig in a blanket off my plate; etc etc etc

Inthe I'm intrigued by what party food the dog scoffed, have visions of cheese and pineapples sticks (nod to 70/childhood) scattered around the place and half eaten vol au vents!

Mini pork pies, sausage rolls, sandwiches and scones. Thankfully I had some other stuff in the fridge, and my mum is bringing round some stuff too.

Heyheyheygoodbye i'm sorry but your cat is ace.

My friend's dog died after accessing the contents of the bin.

No such thing as a "golden" lab 🙄

Knew it would be a lab before I finished reading the first post
We don't need to close the kitchen door, but we do have dog child locks on all the cupboards and the fridge...

Aww bless all these pet stories. Those puppy dog eyes, how can you resist? We had a cheeky lab. Of course they know they're doing wrong. Mine used to try and escape. He'd do the musical statues movements, sloping off really slowly and freezing if we turned round to look at him. It was hilarious and we used to let him do it and just as he got to the gate (long drive), we'd call him back or press on the button to shut the gates. He used to be terrible for knicking food out of dds hands when she was a baby.

Tomorrowillbeachicken

Very much so. I had the idea it would be lovely for DS to grow up with a dog.

I was an idiot.

I ended up toilet training them both at the same time, fine except DS kept trying to go to the toilet in the garden.