the fucking dog....

[inthefuckingdoghouse]

Has snuck downstairs in the dead of night, somehow managed to eat some food that we left on the worktops (food for a party we are supposed to have today), peed on the floor, and completely trashed the rubbish bins. We usually close the door, and I'm absolutely certain I did. Maybe DD went downstairs in the night or something. Or maybe the dog has figured out how to open doors.
AIBU to be a little bit mad at the dog?

Our old boy was terrible for bin raiding and pinching food off the worktop and would take food from DD's hand if she was in the least bit distracted .

He actually got worse as he got older

Thank fuck the dog stir it all- it will save your guests from getting food poisoning

Exactly what I was thinking.

These stories are so funny. I'm a dog sitter and I've still been caught out. Having to explain to a client that his teeny weeny Dachshund, who can barely get up a step, managed to climb onto the sofa and half himself to half a glass of red wine, is rather 😮😳 Thankfully the client thought it as hilarious as the wee skitter has done it on him before.

On a more serious note, please check the list below. This is a list of SOME of the foods that are dangerous to dogs.

Alcoholic beverages
Apple seeds
Apricot pits
Avocados
Cherry pits
Candy (particularly chocolate—which is toxic to dogs, cats, and ferrets—and any candy containing the toxic sweetener Xylitol)
Coffee (grounds, beans, and chocolate-covered espresso beans)
Garlic
Grapes
Gum (can cause blockages and sugar free gums may contain the toxic sweetener Xylitol)
Hops (used in home beer brewing)
Macadamia nuts
Moldy foods
Mushroom plants
Mustard seeds
Onions and onion powder
Peach pits
Potato leaves and stems (green parts)
Raisins
Rhubarb leaves
Salt
Tea (because it contains caffeine)
Tomato leaves and stems (green parts)
Walnuts
Xylitol (artificial sweetener that is toxic to pets)
Yeast dough

I think there are breed specific traits (none of us here are surprised the OP's dog is a golden lab ), but then there is also differences between individuals.

Had to be a lab, a staffie or a beagle.

Our staffie stole a red-hot duck straight out of the oven once nd scoffed it on the run..

How he didn't choke or have third-degree burns I will never know. And there was a slithery trail of duck grease right through the house where he had scarped to evade capture.

I still miss him the greedy bastard.

*help himself

When dd was 2 and stared nursery, party of my morning routine was to go downstairs, make tea & prepare our breakfast. We would both have Alpen but we'd have to have the milk in it for some time before eating. Then we'd go upstairs, get ready & then come down & eat breakfast. Every morning I'd have to add more milk to our Alpen and then we'd eat it.

Imagine my surprise when one morning I came downstairs to discover the dog (large breed but not a lab), had been licking the milk off our cereal every morning for a year! This was despite me thinking that I'd pushed it far enough back she couldn't get to it. After that I started putting it on the windowsill where she definitely couldn't get it. Disgusting creature

"DDog is crated at night so no possibility of theft."

Same here.

Mini pork pies, sausage rolls, sandwiches and scones.

Should pork pies and sausage rolls be stored outside the fridge overnight. Maybe he's saved your guests some dicky tummies.

My mum's greyhound ate my sisters muesli out of her bowl once. He has also ripped a packed of 18 loo rolls open and bit every one, eaten 3/4 of a Simnel Cake (including disciples) 8 fat balls, the tops of two pumpkins, got a box of chocolates off the top of a chest of drawers (smashing a bottle of wine in the process!!!) and ate them. Swallowed and regurgiated a wine cork and most recently woke my Mum up at exactly the same time two mornings in a row retching and then stop stopping and an hour later more retching whereupon he threw a tin foil ball (both mornings!!) She had Bumbledog for me both mornings and the retching scared him so much he leapt on to mum's bed in fear!!!
He regularly turns the bin over when we forget to lift it up too!!! It's a good job my mum really loves him!

Agree with bakeoff. I was worried about your guests if not in the fridge. Love these stories. At least youve a story for your party op.

I think you are right Pacific. There were definitely personality differences between them.

They'd all have taken up residence in front of the work top just in case the leg of lamb jumped onto the floor and became 'food the dog is allowed' though

My dog ate the Christmas cake and the Quality st chocolates on Christmas morning and lay there practically comatose and shitting chocolate fruit cake throughout our Christmas dinner.
God I miss that little dog.

Scary

That's just reminded me of my labs party trick. I'd forgotten. He scoffed some carp bait from the fishermen much to my surprise. The fisherman assured me that's all he'd eaten. 24 hours later and having eaten two meals, he puked up a fish gutting knife thingy with forked razor sharp bits. He had swallowed the razor sharp bit first - perhaps that was the best way. He'd had no breathing problems so I had no inclination. I've no idea how he didn't end up gutting himself and he wasn't bleeding at all. Much as I was massively panicked over this, I was also amazed. I kept the trophy for quite some time.

My dad's old lab ate four landing windowsills. Then he fitted a stairgate.

Hats off to any dog that's capable of fitting a stairgate. Did it have opposable thumbs?

I always find it hard to know for certain about the right and wrong thing with dogs, I think it underestimated their intelligence and capacity to care.

I know when my dog is doing appeasement. But when you walk in the house and a dog is doing appeasement BEFORE they can read your body language because you haven't seen the thing they done they think they need to be in appeasement mode for, surely that shows they are smart enough to cotton on to "I shouldn't do this but I am going to anyway"?

It's "I know my owner is going to be cross for what I did, so I better start looking apologetic before they go ape-shit at him, although I would do it all again. I mean, who wouldn't?? It's yummy life-conserving food right there, I'd do it all again, but she does not need to know that..."

Dogs work on 'what's in it for me' - that is what makes them so predictable and SO annoying

Rafa, what falls to the ground, belongs to the hound

I would think so Honey. Our last one always used to be by the front door waiting for us to come in when we went out.

On the very odd occasion that she wasn't it was because something had been destroyed.

And there was at least one occasion where I think she instinctively did something, stopped herself, paused and then thought 'fuck it' and carried on anyway.

Labs don't come in 'golden', they're known as yellow.

That's it Pacific. That doesn't stop you sitting right on top of the person eating so you are in prime position to get anything that might drop to the floor.

After 4 years of not being interested in stealing food our ancient staffie is on medication that makes him more hungry. His target is DH's packed lunch, which he puts in his briefcase while getting ready for work. It transpires dog is righter than DH as he repeatedly finds a way in.

They do know when they're doing something wrong. If I open the front door and hear the dogs running out into the garden instead of coming to greet me I know I'm about to be unpleasantly surprised by something.

He probably thought "I really shouldn't... fuck it! #YOLO." And he'd be right sorry OP.

Pets are crazy opportunists with food. I bet he's secretly very proud of himself.

I had a cat that came home one day in the middle of summer with zig zags of tomato ketchup across his back... dragging a BBQ steak bigger than head.

Another cat (a rescued stray) pounded up on the dinner table during a party, snatched all the ham from a guest's plate and then legged it with his prize.

I think ginger cats are the equivalent of golden labs.

This.....