AIBU to think I've just been put in my place by DS' girlfriend

[Butteredpars1ps]

DS has been away for a week. His GF texted earlier to ask if she could come round and cook a surprise special meal for them. Obv not a problem and she's a nice girl btw.

She has just asked me if DH, DD and I will be eating before them or after them!!! That kind of tells us to bugger off doesn't it? She's 16 FFS.

I'm going to have to keep on the right side of her aren't I?

Think she's young and trying hard to do the right thing. I would indulge them and leave them some space in the kitchen. ''Tis rather sweet.

cheval the meal is in the past! It was last night.

I think she has bought the ingredients for a meal for her and her BF and wants to nicely and politely make sure no one else is expecting to be fed by her.

I think she is lovely and smart too. Relish the idea of someone so straightforward as a DIL!! I would!

It is also great and a wonderful reflection on you, that she felt ok to say all this! If she thought you were the MIL from hell, she would not have done this. She clearly respects you and trusts you to recognise her/their boundaries (which they are entitled to have at 16).

Sorry, just read your updates, which totally tally with my response! Well done OP!

I think it's really sweet. She's trying to do something romantic, and she doesn't have her own place. I'd leave them to it.

God, at 16 I would only go to boys houses for somewhere warm to snog and fumble when their mum and dad were out!
And I couldn't cook.
I'm a bit intimidated by OPs son's GF..

So pleased you are excited OP. I have two teenage DS who have girlfriends. The best GFs r those that take time and trouble and like spending time at your house rather than refusing to make effort and wanting yr DS to always make the effort to go to her. She sounds great and sweet and obviously has faith in you as she trusted you and messaged you. Good on her. Hope yr DS lives up to it all. I'm v v lucky one of my DS GF messages me more than my DS and is always welcome I love her. Other teenage DS GF is looking good too. I'd clear out for a special meal taking DH and all other DCs. So cute. Good luck.

Maybe she didn't think you would take it as she was trying to get rid of u, and really just didn't want to be in your way!

Learn to read rockcake

Crikey! She wants to cook for him in your kitchen?!

Eat before so you are not hungry. Leave them to it

Some of the responses on here are from posters who are going to feature heavily on MIL threads of the future.

^This made me laugh^

That is if the GF is brave -foolish- enough to move from Girlfriendsnet to Mumsnet

I dont see the issue.

She asked you if she could cook a meal for herself and your DS. She was clear about who she was cooking for. You said yes. You didnt have to. Clearly its going to be difficult cooking two meals at the same time.

Contact her back with a proposal. Explain when you plan to eat, and when the kitchen will be free. Explain you wont be going out (assuming you wont be). If it was me I'd try to give them some privacy though. Potentially offer to stay out of their way for a few hours.

Get fish and chips or pizza or something and give her the dining room or kitchen table!

You sound like a very lovely and sensible mum OP with a sense of humour and I think I'd be very round if she were my daughter. Presumably your son is also lovely. Nice work. :)

dragon
Don't be silly. I'm obviously not the only one who hasn't read the entire thread either. It's hardly a crime

Wow young girls are really brave! I can't imagine been 16yr old texting my bf's mum about making a meal for her son. Was too busy with my head in my books and having a laugh with girl friends.
I'm too old skool for dis real eye opener as my dd1 is 10 def not expecting dis in 6 yrs

This is one of the weirdest threads I've read on here. I just can't understand it at all. .

Trying to imagine an analogous situation "My friend asked to borrow my car, I said yes, and then light-hearted - this is sooo funny, she actually had the cheek to ask me what time best suited me for her to pick it up! lol. Really, I'm not angry, I find it funny."

I would just be impressed that a 16 year old wanted to cook something. All the ones in my life just come here and eat my food.

I'm going to have to keep on the right side of her aren't I? Erm...no. She's a child.

I take the question as her planning on when she can cook for him, not indicating that you should bugger off. She wants to surprise him, eat together (not as a whole family) and of course timing is crucial to make sure you don't cross in the kitchen.

I think she's very mature and sensible. You agreed to it and she's checking that she won't be in your way. Why on earth did you think she'd be cooking for everyone else?!?!?!

I honestly still don't understand the issue.

And as for all the "Why can't she cook for him at her house?", there might have been a million reasons. Maybe the OP has a dining room and a living room and she doesn't. Maybe a gaggle of younger siblings. Maybe her parents disapprove of the OP's son. Maybe.......

I think butterflies car analogy is a good one. "Can I do x, please?" "Yes" "Great, when would it be convenient for you?" "Good Lord, what a very strange thing to ask!"

Wow - wish I'd had that confidence at 16. Tell her you'll eat first - and then leave the washing up

Well done op.

gloria and irish will read your future dils posts on here in the next few years I expect.

God help them.

Admire your forbearance, OP, because apart from OH nobody would be cooking anything in my kitchen.

Yet also have to admire GF's effort to cook for DS, all the 16yr olds I know prefer to eat out for special occasions.