AIBU to think I've just been put in my place by DS' girlfriend

[Butteredpars1ps]

DS has been away for a week. His GF texted earlier to ask if she could come round and cook a surprise special meal for them. Obv not a problem and she's a nice girl btw.

She has just asked me if DH, DD and I will be eating before them or after them!!! That kind of tells us to bugger off doesn't it? She's 16 FFS.

I'm going to have to keep on the right side of her aren't I?

Maybe she has just panicked and thought you might have thought she was cooking for everyone! Also she is being considerate that you will also need to use the kitchen, rather than turn up and take over the kitchen. Doesn't seem to be any mention that she expects you to go out.

Like you said she is a nice girl, I think youve misinterpreted her text?

Please can someone explain the problem in words of one syllable?

bertrand

OPs future DIL asked if she could cook OPs DS a meal and if OP would need kitchen before or after.

752 posters interpreted that as future DIL saying she would only be cooking for herself and DS and didn't want the added pressure of competing with OP for kitchen space whilst cooking.

OP decided that future DIL meant she wanted OP to FOTTFSOFAFOSM after dinner. Nobody can work out why.

Bert it's not a problem. If anything I'm amused at being "steered" by an intelligent and well meaning young girl. I certainly don't think she's a little madam.

I posted because I thought it was funny to be put in that position. Perhaps My posts haven't transmitted my amusement, but I'm not frothing. it was clear she wanted us out of the way, and she managed to let me know that tactfully. I'm usually quite very territorial about my kitchen, and yet I have found myself evicted for the evening. It's a novel experience.

Ah so you've agreed but really don't want her anywhere near your beloved kitchen? And yes she has evicted you (nicely) as she wants to get
lucky with your son :)

Oh no, Bluntness - that backfired spectacularly! Relationship killed with kindness!

Bless, she sounds very polite and tactful

Ahh I think its sweet. She has obviously missed your DS and wants to spent a special evening with him. The fact she wants to cook for him says a great deal about her feelings for him. Can you not make yourselves scarce for a couple of hours?

I wish DS's girlfriend would offer to cook for him. I wouldn't mind legging it to the local chippy/pub and then having a nice walk for her to do it (I would let her know that the dirty dishes were all hers btw).

That would make a nice change from DS's girlfriend turning up just as I'm dishing up dinner and expecting me to have made enough for another one

i dont get it op u dont have to go anywhere if u dont want to its your house

u could have just said yeah sure but we're staying in tonight just to let u kn ow-u dont have to hide upstairs

She got her message across clearly, but politely. I'm secretly impressed that at 16 she has that level of maturity. I think you'll all find that I fell into line

What message? What level of maturity?

She simply asked in a roundabout and polite way, when the kitchen would be free

Nobody 'steered' you anywhere.

It's nice that she feels comfortable enough to ask if she can cook a meal at your house.

But even 'getting' the fact you're being light hearted etc. I really can't see where you're coming from?

Jesus Butterpars, talk about projection.

Get a grip. The girl is 16. She's unlikely to be interested in spending her time thinking how to steer (IE manipulate) you.

Unless there is a back story to this which involves a lot of game playing, manipulation etc., by this girl which you haven't mentioned, then you are reading something into her behaviour, that doesn't appear to other people who aren't projecting, to be there.

In the absence of such a back story, you come over as seeing things that aren't there.

Aww. It's sweet!

She's not trying to steer you! She asked you the best time, and she was willing to accommodate that. She was asking you to steer timing as it's your house.

I'd never have had the guys to text bf's mum at 16. She sounds lovely. :)

The op was lighthearted , I had a smile to myself . You're a good mum letting them have their night to themselves

Op do you not remember how it feels to be the gf and be nervous of the BF Mother?

I do. I am extra nice to all my DCs gf/bf. I did have one of their gf , she wasn't around long, who wrecked our kitchen whilst making a cake that she then took home...

Am I the only one who assumed OP posted a bit tongue in cheek about her Ds's Gf being sweet? This is why people have to write light hearted on so many threads!

Oh she sounds great! I hope ds relationship with her lasts for a very long time and they are v happy. She sounds like she'd make a fab dil!

Oh no, Bluntness - that backfired spectacularly! Relationship killed with kindness!

No, I get that it was light hearted.

But still, all that's happened here is she's asked the OP if there's going to be a kitchen clash.

She sounds like a lovely, polite young teenager.

Future DIL at the age of 16?

Again, I'm sure light hearted.

Have I missed finding out what they actually ate after all this?

Sounds like she wanted to cook for him bless her, then asked you and then panicked that you thought she was cooking for all of you. She probably doesn't have the money or skills to cook for 5 even if she wanted you all to join ther special meal!!
So this was her way of checking you weren't all expecting feeding.
She sounds nice! And sensible! They're 16 there are MUCH worse things they could be doing!

Ah that's sweet of her! I don't think cheeky madam best describes this particular situation, maybe considerate young lady who doesn't want to get under OP's feet? Perhaps she's just asking to be polite. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

Errr she's trying to make sure she doesn't get in your way and be an inconvenience to you. And it'll be more of a surprise if she's there rather than having to say to him 'come over to mine' and him saying 'I thought I'd stay home and do my washing' or something equally gormless (yet domesticated). Or maybe she can't do it at hers because her mother is just as cynical!

YABU - it's a nice thing being done for your son you should be happy! And she probably wants you out the way so they can have some alone time. Relax

They're 16 - buy them a bottle of bubbles and take your other half out for supper.