AIBU to think I've just been put in my place by DS' girlfriend

[Butteredpars1ps]

DS has been away for a week. His GF texted earlier to ask if she could come round and cook a surprise special meal for them. Obv not a problem and she's a nice girl btw.

She has just asked me if DH, DD and I will be eating before them or after them!!! That kind of tells us to bugger off doesn't it? She's 16 FFS.

I'm going to have to keep on the right side of her aren't I?

That's sweet, she's only 16. Why do some people have to be negative in their thoughts/comments I have a 6 year old daughter, however I'm sure if I were in your shoes with a son I'd be fine with his girlfriend doing that in our home. So what if she hasn't invited the rest of the family to join. I think if you show your son that you are good to this girlfriend (probably someone he might not even marry one day ) and continue to be kind to all his friends as he grows up he will want to have you be a part of his life when decisions become more complex because you've always been a supportive mum - if that makes sense.

Sorry I really don't see the problem

I'd tell her where to go if my home. ....

Who does she think she is ?
She didn't mention it before hand so I'd eat same time as them to teach jumped up madame a lesson.

My house ....
Lol

Bloody hell shes 16 give her a break. She's trying to do a sweet thing for your son. Of course she doesn't want u there. Be grateful your son has such a good GF x

Look at all the people who can't be arsed to read the whole thread. Or even just the OPs posts.

I'm really struggling to see where the problem is in this, or where other people's aggression is coming from!

She texted to tell you she wanted to cook her boyfriend/your son a nice meal. She asked if it were ok to do it at your house (for those saying she should use her own kitchen, she is 16, she doesn't have one)

You said yes.

No problem so far.

She asked if you'd be eating before or after, presumably showing consideration for the fact it's your kitchen and also as a way of indirectly saying, "I was hoping this was going to be a romantic dinner for two".

I think I'd have replied, "we'll be eating beforehand, kitchen's all yours "

What is the need for all the nasty comments by other people? It's a nice thing, surely.

Reading some of the comments here I foresee many future MN threads about horrendous MILs.

It wouldn't be a problem for me, in fact I'd probably offer to take the rest of the family out so they could have some time together.

All of this 'little madame', 'my house my rulez' shit is pathetic. She's just asked when it would be best for them to sit down to eat, she hasn't been rude or demanded anything.

Go with the flow - it means a lot to a 16 yr old. Remember when YOU were 16 ?

I liked your OP - it was clear that you were amused rather than otherwise to me, at least.

Glad it all went well, but I'm sure she won't expect that level of commitment every weekend - or that she'll want to cook for him every weekend!

Your son is very lucky to have a lovely girlfriend who wants to cook for him. Stay on her side if you want to maintain a good relationship with your son. Bite your tongue to avoid being seen as the future MIL from hell.

Alm of you asking whether you'll be the horrendous MIL - you're all here. Get over yourselves

How long have they been together? Times must have really changed because when I was 16 you wouldn't have asked for a drink in a boyfriend's house (you were on absolute best behaviour) let alone asked to cook in their kitchen.

Why not just clarify with her what exactly is she asking...can't see the big deal...

Nothing I enjoy more on MN than those who can't be arsed reading back through a thread and jumping in

Be nice, she is making your son happy. Let her use your kitchen to cook your son a lovely meal and order a takeaway for rest of family or if can't afford that shove a pizza in oven and leave the couple to it. One day she may your D DiL and mother of your DGC and she will remember if you were mean to her!

She hasn't asked if you will be going out. She asked you if she could cook him a meal, you said yes. I would just reply asking what time she needs kitchen as you g=have said she could use it and plan around that OR tell her when you will be cooking and tell her to plan around that.

It is amusing and quite sweet on one level but it also reeks of entitlement on another. I'm with the ones who ask why can't she cook him a meal in her house?

Just to clarify - the OP as being lighthearted and had no issue with the gf using the kitchen and eating at a different time to the rest of the family.

Oh yes, THE GF COOKED HIM A CHINESE MEAL

Maybe you weren't planning on going out, but why not plan it now?! Sweep he rest of family off out for pizza and let gf have a free run for a few hours. Your son will probably thank you too . Where's the harm?

I can't see what yr problem is??? Go out for dinner and let her cook for him!

Young love. Sounds super sweet to me. Hope my DS has as thoughtful a partner when he is 16 and one that can cook! I would be relieved they were suggesting they would be under my roof and do my best to give them a little bit of space

Maybe you weren't planning on going out, but why not plan it now?!

I imagine because it was LAST NIGHT, the OP wasn't being serious and has updated the thread several times...

She sounds nice my DS1s last girlfriend wouldn't even speak to me, she was so shy, she used to run out the door if I appeared but was only 15.

Get over yourself, of course she wasn't going to cook for you too. It's a bit weird that you thought she would.
Perhaps this will be a good exercise in helping you cut the apron strings, for your son's sake.
Don't be offended, it just the natural progression of things.

Keep your hair on dragon