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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird encounter with man or am I over thinking

357 replies

Daaaaaaan · 27/01/2017 12:58

This might be long, will try to put all relevant information in so to avoid the dreaded drip feeding...

One or two weeks before Christmas I was in the supermarket as usual on a Wednesday lunchtime straight after school finished with my son. Exited the supermarket to hear an English voice say "oh hi, how are you" in a friendly tone of voice (am expat and while many people here speak English I speak to most of my friends in the local language). I said "oh hello" while thinking "uhmm I don't really think I know you". However he continued saying he knew me from somewhere, had we met before, probably at local pub. I said no I don't drink there.

He told me his Street address then asked why I was shopping in supermarket A when supermarket B was closer to my house (didn't think about this comment until later as tbh I was really just trying to get home to make lunch, I absolutely did not tell him where I lived). He also said he saw me most days last summer and I was always on my own (?! Confused )Looked like I was always off to the beach, did I not work?

Boxing day, receive message in my other folder from this guy saying I popped up on his people you may know list. We have no mutual friends, are not in any of the same Facebook groups and I never "check in" anywhere. So was a bit sceptical. Anyway in the message wishes me merry Christmas, asks me out, gives me his address, phone number and email. I didn't accept the message request and did not reply. So although I have read it he won't know as I've not accepted it ifkwim.

So, Wednesday in supermarket A as usual, and he is there. He tries to make chat but, it's lunchtime and I have a hungry son to feed! Don't give it much thought, it's a local supermarket after all, we live in the same district. Thursday I get on my usual tram to take my son to school and he is on it. Not too weird, but the stop for where he told me he lives is about 3 stops before the one I get on. The next and final stop, it doesn't really go anywhere except the tram depot, my sons school and the long road to the next town.

He starts walking with us asking about Christmas, asks my son about his gifts etc. I'm feeling a bit uneasy and rush my son along while, saying something like "oh well have a nice day etc" he then asks me if I have time for a coffee, rather taken aback I blurted out "sorry no I'm on my way to a job interview" and rushed off.

So, finally (if anyone has got this far) is, aibu to think this all really odd. Mainly the supermarket conversation/knowing where I live/movements/tram thing? The balcony thing, as I say, is most likely unconnected but possibly why I'm feeling more freaked out than should be necessary.

OP posts:
anklebitersmum · 08/02/2017 04:50

I too, was confused about the belt & footprints even got the rarely seen readers out

Daaaaaaan Stay safe, keep changing your routine and log any sightings and/or interactions. If he ramps up or becomes anti don't hesitate to call the police though.

Brew (fixes nearly everything) Wink

AutumnalLeafs · 08/02/2017 12:51

Yes the OP has been edited.

BoysaDearyMe · 08/02/2017 18:27

Op, been thinking about you and hope everything is ok

Janey50 · 08/02/2017 20:16

Are you OK OP?

Daaaaaaan · 08/02/2017 21:20

No sightings so far this week thankfully although tomorrow (Thursday) has been the day he has actually approached me the last 2 times. Am ready though if that happens. Love the though that I am being approached to be an undercover agent!! How exciting that would be Grin

Sorry for the confusion about my edited post. Yes it is edited. Really because I went into specific detail and I had told a few friends about this when it happened and I was worried that if by some random coincidence friends saw this and mentioned this new development to ds father before I spoke to him about it. I didn't think that would be fair on him, it's difficult for him to be working away a lot far away from ds anyway without worrying about anything else. I'm not overly concerned by mentions of the thing, more my specific details ifkwim.

Hopefully tomorrow will pass without incident. Thanks for your lovely posts

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 08/02/2017 21:41

If you do see him, and he accosts you, be assertive, NO I AM NOT INTERESTED! LEAVE ME ALONE! Good luck Daaan.

Jett99 · 08/02/2017 21:53

Please keep us up to date Smile Good luck and sure it'll be fine! If you see him, you know what to do.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 08/02/2017 22:05

Daaaaaaan reading in the early hours I was more confused by the fact that the post wasn't marked as edited than the fact that you'd needed to have some information edited out iyswim.

At first I was trying to work out how this man could have innocent intentions, being a long lost relative or something like that, but I think that's clutching at straws. I second the No thanks and No further explanation response to any further approach.

Too often we feel like we need to elaborate on a No, when really we don't and the shorter the message, the more obvious it is.

SparklyMagpie · 08/02/2017 22:37

Daaaaaaan you've got this in the bag next time you see him (if you do) and thanks for clearing up the edit

It amazes me how strong you've have been and are, I'd be going out of my mind if this was me, but I hope the support ( and it seems like it Smile ) is helping an I hope your ex will be just as supportive, sounds like a good guy

Fingers crossed you don't run into him tomorrow and you can feel a little more safe

You're handling this great :) xx

faithinthesound · 08/02/2017 23:22

Did I miss something, or is there another thread? I keep seeing people mentioning a balcony thing, and I've reread the OP like six times and can't find what people are talking about... and I think it might give me more context for this thread?

faithinthesound · 09/02/2017 00:34

Apologies - I've just seen as how the OP has been edited.

Italiangreyhound · 09/02/2017 02:27

Daaaaaaan I am sorry this is happening to you.

Please stay safe.

Aeroflotgirl "YOu need to handle this yourself without needing to rely on your ex." Why do you say that?

Daaaaaaan "I know I need to deal with this myself and feel a bit more emboldened after yesterday, despite not handling things better. I was ruder than I would normally be, and the sky didn't fall in."

It is rally good you feel empowered. Of course it would be great for you, OP, to cope with this but I would say you need to do whatever it takes to be safe and stay safe.

Your ex is not in a romantic relationship with you but presumably is a decent enough guy he does not want some random man stalking his ex and his child. Please do nut shut him out if you think he can help.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/02/2017 08:38

italian ex will not always be there! You shouldent need to rely on so one else. Use the resources available, Police, self defence, make it clear to him your not interested.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/02/2017 14:28

How did it go today Daaaan?

DrRichardKimble · 09/02/2017 19:24

Any news Daaaan? I hope today was 'weirdo' free.

Daaaaaaan · 09/02/2017 19:58

No sightings today. I didn't walk home the typical school Road home after drop off though. Was torn whether to go that route and be proactive/ready to deal with him if he was there again or go an alternative route home. Chose the alternative route.

School holidays next week so feel a bit more relaxed that I won't be the same place/same time every day.

OP posts:
Doublemint · 09/02/2017 20:02

I really hope he's got the message now daaan. You have done so so well handling this!

Daaaaaaan · 09/02/2017 20:12

Thanks! I felt more confident thinking it was possible I would see him than earlier this week when I was coming home from the hairdresser and thought I saw him and physically froze momentarily. However, that's a week with nothing so I hope he has indeed got the message.

OP posts:
Daaaaaaan · 09/02/2017 20:13

Don't know if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Doublemint · 09/02/2017 20:24

Totally makes sense, you're prepared for it now whereas before you were still hoping it was your imagination, I reckon there will be another encounter but it might be a while off and hopefully that will be the last one.

I really do hope this is it for you now- well done!

DrRichardKimble · 09/02/2017 21:58

Well done, hopefully he's got the message.

BoysaDearyMe · 14/02/2017 22:12

How are things op

TheObserverOne · 16/02/2017 01:09

Hope things are going well this week op!

TooSleepyToCare · 16/02/2017 18:59

Hi op
Just stopped by to see how you are getting on this week. Hopefully it's peaceful and relaxing.
Take care x

blackcherries · 18/02/2017 14:46

OP hope you're still ok.