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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird encounter with man or am I over thinking

357 replies

Daaaaaaan · 27/01/2017 12:58

This might be long, will try to put all relevant information in so to avoid the dreaded drip feeding...

One or two weeks before Christmas I was in the supermarket as usual on a Wednesday lunchtime straight after school finished with my son. Exited the supermarket to hear an English voice say "oh hi, how are you" in a friendly tone of voice (am expat and while many people here speak English I speak to most of my friends in the local language). I said "oh hello" while thinking "uhmm I don't really think I know you". However he continued saying he knew me from somewhere, had we met before, probably at local pub. I said no I don't drink there.

He told me his Street address then asked why I was shopping in supermarket A when supermarket B was closer to my house (didn't think about this comment until later as tbh I was really just trying to get home to make lunch, I absolutely did not tell him where I lived). He also said he saw me most days last summer and I was always on my own (?! Confused )Looked like I was always off to the beach, did I not work?

Boxing day, receive message in my other folder from this guy saying I popped up on his people you may know list. We have no mutual friends, are not in any of the same Facebook groups and I never "check in" anywhere. So was a bit sceptical. Anyway in the message wishes me merry Christmas, asks me out, gives me his address, phone number and email. I didn't accept the message request and did not reply. So although I have read it he won't know as I've not accepted it ifkwim.

So, Wednesday in supermarket A as usual, and he is there. He tries to make chat but, it's lunchtime and I have a hungry son to feed! Don't give it much thought, it's a local supermarket after all, we live in the same district. Thursday I get on my usual tram to take my son to school and he is on it. Not too weird, but the stop for where he told me he lives is about 3 stops before the one I get on. The next and final stop, it doesn't really go anywhere except the tram depot, my sons school and the long road to the next town.

He starts walking with us asking about Christmas, asks my son about his gifts etc. I'm feeling a bit uneasy and rush my son along while, saying something like "oh well have a nice day etc" he then asks me if I have time for a coffee, rather taken aback I blurted out "sorry no I'm on my way to a job interview" and rushed off.

So, finally (if anyone has got this far) is, aibu to think this all really odd. Mainly the supermarket conversation/knowing where I live/movements/tram thing? The balcony thing, as I say, is most likely unconnected but possibly why I'm feeling more freaked out than should be necessary.

OP posts:
BoysaDearyMe · 03/02/2017 20:36

How'd today go op?

Daaaaaaan · 03/02/2017 21:14

No sign today. I know I need to deal with this myself and feel a bit more emboldened after yesterday, despite not handling things better. I was ruder than I would normally be, and the sky didn't fall in.

Feel confident that I can say, if there is a next time, look I'm not interested please don't ask me again. Hopefully omitting the please because as pp said, I don't mean please!

OP posts:
Daaaaaaan · 03/02/2017 21:35

I didn't mean "I know I need to..." in a snippy way btw more "I understand that I have to"

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 03/02/2017 22:01

Tell him to leave you alone as well.

mummylove2monsters · 04/02/2017 15:09

Your being incredibly brave and practical OP . Good for you - hold that and use it - don't panic or show your are unnerved ( easier said than done I know ) but GO YOU ! Use that inner awesomeness and get that ex walking to school with you too x

PatsyMount · 04/02/2017 15:53

As an aside; has your OP been edited? I can find no reference to the balcony incident (until your last line when you say it may be unconnected) and the other PPs seem to know what this incident is. But i cannot find it in your OP anywhere Confused

Sorry it just interrupted the flow when i was reading the OP - what happened with the balcony?

I am horrified on your behalf that you need to learn self defence to deal with this. The police should be onto this for you Angry

Jett99 · 07/02/2017 17:55

Have been following this OP as it sounds incredibly scary. Has anything happened since Friday?

AragornsManlyStubble · 07/02/2017 21:06

Any update?

mimishimmi · 07/02/2017 21:32

It's weird and I would definitely feel uncomfortable if I were you. My thoughts are that if it's known you can speak the local language, he's approaching you to be an intelligence agent. They're weird like that. I went to place flowers at the French consulate in Sydney after Charlie Hebdo and one approached me pretending to be a journalist. Another time one visited us after we attended an Easter event with my SiL at the US consulate in Thailand. They are usually tall, blonde and awkward. I'm a dark Irish Celt (so very upset about the whole GWOT thing) and these types totally freak us out! They pretend to be us but they're really 'born to the manor' Germanic types!

BorisJohnsonsHair · 07/02/2017 22:04

Slightly off-topic, but I've read the OP's first post 3 times now, and can see no mention of a belt or footprints, as mentioned in later replies. Is there something wrong with my Mumsnet?

OP hope he's got the message now.

ButtonMooooon · 07/02/2017 22:40

There was something in the original post but don't want to say too much as not sure why it was removed. But if definitely was there so maybe MN is freaked out too Hmm

MajorBumsore · 07/02/2017 22:41

Me either Boris. Thought I was going mad Confused

Foxysoxy01 · 07/02/2017 22:56

That's weird Confused why did half of the OP get removed?

Hope things have been quiet for you OP.

Chloe1984 · 07/02/2017 23:31

If it was removed because it may have been identifying, then other references to it should be removed also.

TheNiffler · 07/02/2017 23:45

LOL at him being a spy headhunter. He's really subtle then, bellowing out her name, and stalking her.

SparklyMagpie · 07/02/2017 23:54

mimishimmi can't exactly compare your stories to this one. He's definitely a stalker

Smellyoulateralligater · 08/02/2017 00:18

mimishimmi - who is usually blond and Germanic? Confused

Rockingaround · 08/02/2017 00:51

I couldn't decipher the balcony/footprints/belt either... hi OP just wanted to add my support and shock at what you're having to go through, you're tremendously strong, I am totally spooked reading this thread and would be petrified. I'm wondering if you're in Israel, just because you've done Kap Magra...? I have no idea on their laws on things like this but it's really poor that any law enforcement anywhere wouldn't take this seriously and try to protect you - just atrocious. My thoughts are with you and your boy, hope you're ok and that your ex will just move in with you for a while tbh, at least you may have some peace of mind then although as a pp said, maybe think about coming home to the UK for a visit/break - God knows you deserve it. Thinking of you OP - stay strong Flowers

mimishimmi · 08/02/2017 03:04

Yeah, didn't read the subsequent post where he's belting out her name. Sounds like a stalker now ... rather than master spy. Ah well. Still, they do stuff like that.

mimishimmi · 08/02/2017 03:17

They don't take it seriously here in Australia. My friend had a stalker and when we initially tried to take out an order against him, the police laughed it off and told us to tell him she wasn't interested Hmm They did give her one after our third visit to them but would just give him a slap on the wrist every time he breached it. Eventually he pulled a knife on her, a security guard on campus caught him in time and he ended up getting deported.

Janey50 · 08/02/2017 03:27

OP I've read your first post 4 times but can see no mention of a belt,cushions,balcony or footprints,as mentioned in a lot of poster's replies. Has something been removed from your post in between it being pistesd and me reading it?

Sprinklestar · 08/02/2017 04:00

Hope you're ok, OP.

Janey50 · 08/02/2017 04:12

Posted! Ffs! Not pistesd!

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 08/02/2017 04:27

I thought it was me because MN usually add an edited note.
All subsequent mentions of something I couldn't see were very confusing.

MrsPeelyWaly · 08/02/2017 04:41

Slightly off-topic, but I've read the OP's first post 3 times now, and can see no mention of a belt or footprints, as mentioned in later replies. Is there something wrong with my Mumsnet

I was confused as well.