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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH has his driving test today. AIBU?

285 replies

MandMrs28 · 27/01/2017 10:52

My DH is mid 30's and last year decided that he would like to learn to drive. He's been having lessons and his test is today.

He mentioned to me yesterday that if he passes he would like to take the DC's to the park (in the car) whilst I'm at work over the weekend. I dropped into the conversation that I would prefer him not to go out with the kids alone in the car until he has had some experience at driving. He didn't reply to that but looked abit hurt.

He then said if he passes he would like to drive our car, on his own, around town to get used to the car. We bought a new large car (think 4x4 size) about 8 months ago and it is our pride and joy. I've been with him in this car when he's been practising his manoeuvres and he has struggled because he found the car too big (the car he's been having lessons in is a little clio).

AIBU to say not to take the kids out alone and that I would prefer him not to take the car out alone until he's had some experience with driving a car of that size?? I feel like I'm pissing on his bonfire abit and if he comes back all joyous that he's passed and wants to take the car for a spin what do I say?!?!

OP posts:
Original poster
MandMrs28 · 27/01/2017 15:44

He passed his test. I took all the response into account. I am sticking with my guns on the kids thing, they might be his kids but they are the most precious cargo we have. However when he came home I rangbthr insurance to change his details over so he could take the car out and it would be an extra £900 ontop of my payments to insure him on the car. He said he would prefer to get himself a run around for that kind of money and even his driving instructor said he wouldn't be driving a car like that when he first passed his test in case he dinged it. After a year we are going to look at putting him on the insurance again. Thankyou for all the sensible responses. To all the nasty comments, you know nothing of me or my DH apart from a few comments on a page.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 27/01/2017 15:46

I don't get it. How much will the run around cost you to buy, insure and run? Surely more than £900. Confused

MackerelOfFact · 27/01/2017 16:01

Congrats to him for passing! Glad the issue sorted itself out.

I don't get it. How much will the run around cost you to buy, insure and run? Surely more than £900.

Most certainly, but if they sell it after 1-2 years, once the premiums on the larger car have gone down, I would imagine they will recoup a fair chunk of the purchase price. Plus they will have the benefit of an extra car during that time.

Original poster
MandMrs28 · 27/01/2017 16:02

He said he would rather have his own car which he can use whenever he wants and drive to his work. It will cost just over £1000 we've worked out.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 27/01/2017 16:07

That makes sense. I'm surprised the insurance on another car of his own is low enough that you can get that plus the car for £1000.

haveacupoftea · 27/01/2017 16:09

YABU. Its his car too. Do you usually make him ask permission to do things?

Original poster
MandMrs28 · 27/01/2017 16:09

To be honest I was surprised too. To insure a 1.4 Peugeot it's coming as £495 which I don't think is that bad? Maybe it's because of his age I'm not sure? He's currently very excited about having his own car and happy that he will be able to drive the big car next year once he's got NCD

OP posts:
MrsBethel · 27/01/2017 16:10

It's all very well adding someone to your policy, but if he has a prang/claim, it can end up costing you more.
Even if you protect your NCD, they can still calculate a bigger pre-discount premium and charge you more.

So a little run-about and DH building up his own NCD is not a bad idea.

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 16:10

Didn't think I'd be far off when I said 1000 extra. I don't work insurance now but have in the past

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 16:11

Most insurance will not protect no claims if a new driver is added to policy so sensible to get a banger as I said earlier for a year

JustAnotherPoster00 · 27/01/2017 16:11

what happens if they start playing up when he's driving?

You tell them 'Shut up I'm driving' kids survive such brutality Hmm

even his driving instructor said he wouldn't be driving a car like that when he first passed his test in case he dinged it

I doubt that, so I call bullshit to that

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 16:13

And yes it's because he's over 32 normally that his own insurance isn't as bad as could be

Original poster
MandMrs28 · 27/01/2017 16:15

Oh shut up justanother why would I lie. Fucking pathetic

OP posts:
justdontevenfuckingstart · 27/01/2017 16:15

OP where did you your oh get that insurance (not goady just want to know) my DD1 couldn't get anywhere near that.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 27/01/2017 16:17

Oh shut up justanother why would I lie. Fucking pathetic

Your trying to use the 'driving instructor' story to further validate your controlling behaviour towards your DH

PurpleDaisies · 27/01/2017 16:19

To be honest I was surprised too. To insure a 1.4 Peugeot it's coming as £495 which I don't think is that bad? Maybe it's because of his age I'm not sure?

How old is it? It cost me £500 to insure a 1.1 Peugeot 206 with four years no claims. That's a very good deal.

TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing · 27/01/2017 16:19

When I passed my test I went home, sorted insurance, went to DH'a office to get the car keys then drove for miles, having the time of my life!

Give him a break and your blessing.

Oh, and I can only imagine the replies if a woman posted on here saying she had passed her test but her husband still deemed her incompetent.

Original poster
MandMrs28 · 27/01/2017 16:22

justdont that was with admiral on one of those comparison sites. He put me down as a named driver and I've got 13 years NCD so maybe that's affected it? I will get him to do it later without me as named and see if it's different?

Yeah yeah justanother because being worried about my kids and concerned for my husband is being controlling. Never mind the fact that you know NOTHING of the rest of our life together. The driving instructor had known me for years and taught me to drive. When I bought the car he commented on how nice it was. Why I'm explaining myself to you I will never know

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 27/01/2017 16:23

That is very cheap! I was 32 when I learnt/passed, DP bought a little car for me to learn in, it was 10 years old and was £1200!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 27/01/2017 16:24

And that was with DP as a named driver, who had been driving 20 years then!

BobbieDog · 27/01/2017 16:26

I agree a smaller car would be much better for him until around 3 years of driving.

As i said in my previous post 4x4 are not for new drivers. There is a reason why all driving instructor cars are very small.

MrsHathaway · 27/01/2017 16:27

Also if he has his own car he can build up his own No Claims.

Well done on passing, Mr OP!

nokidshere · 27/01/2017 16:27

I passed my test first time age 27 in a small car, went home and collected the car keys and drove around for a few hours on my own - felt fantastic.

Y are not only being U but you are also being patronising and ridiculous.

MrsDc7 · 27/01/2017 16:29

You're being unreasonable not letting him drive the car but not unreasonable not letting him drive the kids. I'd tell him he needs to have driven for a month to get real life experience before he takes the kids

LightastheBreeze · 27/01/2017 16:33

I would be right pissed off if DH had spent lots of money on a nice 4x4 and didn't want to pay to insure me on it when I passed my test. I can understand about the DC though if it would cause you a worry