To turn down an invite to soft play because of germs?

[Skatingonthinice16]

Ds (7) has been invited to a soft play party, I don't want him to go because I think basically they are a complete germ fest but he obviously goes to school so is soft play any worse than that?
But then how often is soft play ever cleaned? Never? Someone I know took their child and their child went in the ball pool and got covered in poo. Who knows what lurks in the ball pool?! I'd hoped by 7 ds wouldn't ever have to go to soft play again. It's been about 2 years since we've been but my germ phobia didn't exist then so it didn't bother me.

Aibu to say no based on the fact I don't want us all to catch norovirus?

Because of your fears?

Amongst other things, yes.

Do you want to get help dealing with it?

YANBU there are alternatives to soft play and him not going will not scar him for life

A sick child is no fun, especially one with ASD. However, I think you should risk this. I was told there is a machine which sucks out the balls and cleans them. I'm sure it's not completely foolproof, and of course no one can stay completely free of germs, and most people shouldn't need to.

Yes yabu. Most toddlers survive soft play areas.

knock No it's not going to scar him for life but it's unfair for him to miss out on parties because of his mothers fears. There are alternatives, but that's where the party is.

Wow, have you thought about dealing with this? You seem to be fixating an awful lot on the germs. This kind of behaviour can actually make your children MORE likely to get poorly as they aren't building up their immune system by coming into contact with normal germs. It must be hard but try and get some perspective and maybe see a gp perhaps?

YABU and I think you need to get some perspective and possibly professional guidance. You seem to have a excessive fear of germs and public spaces

Have you ever seen anyone to discuss your phobia?

What does his father say?

Op with kindness you must try very hard to NOT project your fears onto your son. I really think it's worth speaking to your GP about your behaviour and attitudes as it sounds limiting to live like tha.

Do get some help, OP. Your son will be limited by your fears/phobias. Good luck.

He's already for ASD to deal with (as does my DD aged 8) so don't add a germ phobia to his issues.

Sorry OP YABU, like you said it's germ phobia. Don't like your fears effects your DC having fun.

I find it hard to believe when people say they need exposure to germs else they get more ill. Surely whenever they encounter that particular germ they just get ill if they haven't had it before?
I have done a lot of googling about germs and I am now completely bewildered as to how any of us a) survive or b) aren't ill all the time.

Agree with previous posters that your germ phobia is perhaps an issue that you could get some help with yourself. With that in mind I'm not sure whether this would be a help or enabling - however, it is great and is a product that kills bacteria and viruses and continues working for up to 6 hours, I find it really handy for germ pits and travelling etc

www.boots.com/boots-advanced-first-aid-anti-viral-hand-foam-200ml-10099328

Probably easier said than done but stop googling.

I prefer to take the children to the park, gardens, for walks etc. Places outside where the viral load is lower.
Soft play and swimming pools must be rife with all sorts of grimness.

This is very irrational behaviour that is having a significant impact on yours and your DCs lives. Please get some support to manage this.

Thanks need I already have a version of that. ds puts it on his hands before school every morning. I put it on every time I leave the house...

This might help:

Story on why germs are good for kids

He shouldn't be needing to put that on before school, seriously go to your gp.

YABVU. Mainly to be giving your child your phobia- which sounds very limiting for you... Surely - I can tell how much you care for you son- you don't want your DS to grow up with these fears- which will make him far more unwell and feel far worse than any stomach bug or cold?!

Immunity builds up over time by exposure to small amounts of viruses/bacteria. Sometimes these make us unwell, other times the viral or microbial load isn't high enough to "win" against our bodies, and we fight them off. Then the next time we meet that illness in a higher concentration, were better able to deal with it.

Take chickenpox as an excellent example of an illness that is far worse as you get older.

OP I understand, I really do. But YABU, some exposure to germs is healthy and the social aspect is more so. Use antibacterial spray, keep an eye on what's in his mouth and focus on the good time he's having.

I have anxiety issues which are rooted in issues around health, I do understand.

Have you ever sought any help or support for your anxiety? It's clearly impacting on you and your son's ability to do things that are part and parcel of being a child. Things can improve, I promise.