Honestly do you judge teen mothers?

[Willialwaysbelookeddownon]

I had my first son a month before I turned 17, and despite really trying at mum and baby groups I was always shut out of conversations and never taken seriously. I was lucky that I wasn't dropped by any of my friends but they never had children of their own and I was quite often isolated.
I am now engaged, pursued the career I wanted and have another DS.
A girl on our road is pregnant at 16 and my heart very much goes out to her. She's seem so very lonely.
So my question is, do you judge young mums? Would you be less inclined to speak to a mum at a mother/baby group because they were say 16?

leaving motherhood until later does have risks that I wouldn't want my children to have to face.

Headofthehive55

apple you sound like you want validation of your own decisions. There are many ways to live a happy and fulfilled life. Your way might not be the best way for everyone.

You know what? You're completely right. Other people may raise their kids different ways and they may turn out just fine, or even better.

I don't want people to think that I'm saying that teen mums are bad or hateful people. But I just want the same rights they want - to raise my kid as I wish. It would be crazy to say that just because a woman is 16, she doesn't have the right to raise her own children, care for them and guide them. Of course she does. But it would be equally crazy to say that a woman in her 30s doesn't have the same right.

People may think having a child in your 30s is old and wrong. They have that right. Someone posted above that children born to women my age are less healthy and we may have less energy. It's even been implied that we're worse parents. Fine. That is 100% your right.

But for that reason, I also want the right to think that I do not want my kids to be teenage mums or be encouraged to think it's correct. That's also my right as a mum.

I had my dc when i was 26, 28 and 38. I do not judge others on their age or parenting choices. I found this a complete hindrance at parenting groups which seemed to be full of peolple judging one another about something.

English people from different generations can hang out. But let me assure you, your attitude stinks and I can't see anyone, old or young, being particularly enamoured with having to endure your company.

SongforSal

Judging from the poor punctuation in your post I'm guessing you're not the sharpest tool in the drawer. Personally I respect other women who go early to study tough degrees at university, run big businesses managing big teams, and marry successful like minded men i.e. not some chav teenager from the back of beyond who got up the duff. Sorry but I tell it how it is.

FizzBombBathTime

Wow, why be so rude?

You may find it appalling that people want to hang out with similar age groups but I'm not sure why. It's pretty much the way society is organized. I'll back English on this. My friends are people I went to school with, uni with, grad school with and have worked with. Met at events and interests. They are all super similar in ages, if anything they are likely to be older.

I cringe when people say that teenagers and people in their early 20s are really "mature for their age". Isn't that what old men say to justify teenage brides? I mean, I wouldn't date a 17 year old boy so why would I hang out with a 17 year old girl?

Let's be honest: people generally aren't mature "for their age". Experiences matter and people who insist they are "old for their age" are a bit similar to people who act like they "aren't like all the other girls" i.e. quite tiresome special snowflake types.

What FizzBomb said.

I am actually astounded by English and Apple

Just so you two know, I went to private school (left for a different school but my youngest sister is still in attendance at private school) I have friends from private school who have had abortions, unprotected sex, taken drugs, have drug problems, dropped out of university, etc.
Teen pregnancy is not going to be the only thing your children will be exposed too.
Quite frankly I imagine you two being the ones who don't appreciate your little darlings playing with Tyler and the kids with their ears pierced.
It's amazing how much people can get under your skin over the Internet!

EnglishRose.

If you scroll up you'll read I was a young mother. I am now the same age as you I believe, 35. My daughter achieved all A*, A and B grades in her GCSE'S. She is now studying her 4 chosen A levels.

Next year, I start my Phd after a change in career.

So that's basically 2 fingers up to those who ignored my growing baby bumb on my teenage body and unfairly judged, and made ill-informed inferences regarding my situation.

Wouldn't change a thing :)