...to think if abortion was illegal I may be dead

[Woman1980]

I've name changed as I still feel a lot of shame on this issue. Just listened to the discussion of abortion on Woman's Hour.

I was with my exH from the age of 14, got pregnant at 15 and (very much against my will) was coerced into an abortion by my parents. I had a Very much wanted DC at 17. When DC was 14 months I found I was pregnant again; exH & I had planned a sibling for DC. Some weeks later exH changed his mind; I went to the scan on my own, baby was 13.5 weeks and I went home to tell exH that I was going ahead with pg it was too late for a surgical abortion. Eventually he convinced me that he would leave me and I would ruin dc's life and I rang family planning clinic at 16 weeks distraught to arrange termination. I went alone and was left alone until the baby was out. I desperately wanted to see the baby and know the sex, but kept silent to keep up the pretence. I completely blocked it for a few years, but as dc got older I walked my missing child to school with dc everyday too ifykwim.
Both times it was clear (I'm pretty sure) that it was not my choice. However, I still totally support the right to abortion and think that perhaps I may have been forced into an unsafe abortion if the law was different. I just feel that the "pro life" movement is nothing of the sort and I cannot begin to understand it.
Does anyone else have similar experiences?

I'm going to say now that I don't believe that there is any woman who's had 8 or 15 abortions because she can't be bothered to use contraception.

The only one I've had personal experience with was the pregnancy crisis centre in Watford. They didn't tell lies or terrify people. They helped scared young girls apply for housing and benefits so they had options and choices. They also accompanied them to abortions. They also provided counselling post abortion. They also provided drop in centre services for women who opted to have their babies. They accompanied pregnant girls who felt ashamed and frightened to antenatal appointments when their families disowned them. I'm not an expert, I don't know about all the other "pro-lifers". I just don't like spiteful sweeping statements about people's motives. You don't know anything about their resons for providing the services they do. It's compassion, not judgement or control as many have insisted.

Helena The accommodation I'm thinking of is a mother & baby home in London run by a prolife charity. So... The charity does gas safety checks.

And yes, they provide support for older children too, so school uniforms would be bought if necessary.

My American feminist generation (b.1970) at university was haunted by a photo in Our Bodies, Ourselves. A dead woman was on the grubby carpet of a cheap motel with a wadded bath towel under her. Abortion needs to stay safe, legal, and affordable.
All teens, regardless of sexual orientation or gender preference, need truthful information on safe sex and contraception. Yes, I would hand out condoms in schools. I would rather teens wait, but learning to wait starts with having other interests and self-worth.

Bluegreenyellow Which part of my post is unreasonable?

Thank you for the flowers, all. We should all talk more in RL. Trump is capitalising on the shame of vulnerable women and girls on this issue.

They are not calling people pro abortion or anti birthers

No, Boobsy, they just call them murderers

boopsy I truly believe that making abortion available reduces the number of abortions, as it gives the woman/girl a place to go for help. If a woman cannot talk to anyone about the possibility of abortion then she really has no option other than trying to do something to herself or finding someone to "help"
I would also say that many women and girls are not fortunate enough to be in a position where they can choose to have the baby and you cannot know what you will do until you find yourself in that unfortunate position. It has also haunted me for many years, so you are right about that.

"Murderers" is so much nicer than "anti choicers", isn't it? It almost feels like a compliment.

And yes, I'm pro abortion. Of course I am! I'm pro safe, legal abortion to any woman who requests one, for whatever reason, at whatever stage in her life. If that makes me pro abortion, I'm pro abortion.

We need to never, ever go back to the days of Gerri Santoro (the woman referenced by Ericaequites in her post above). She was 29 and died on a motel room floor following an unsafe, illegal abortion.

If abortion was illegal, there would be no drop in the number of abortions carried out but the number of Gerri Santoro's would dramatically increase.

I'm very much pro choice. I have a medical condition that can cause blindness in pregnancy - in my last pregnancy I went temporarily blind in one eye at 36 w, luckily the doctors managed to get it sorted but it could have and can lead to permanent blindness. It helped that I got it at 36 w and was able to have the baby only two weeks later, if I'd got it say at 24 w it would have been much much harder to control.

I've had to get sterilised such is the fear of another pregnancy although of course I could always have an abortion if I got pregnant again, which I wouldn't want to do but would definitely do to save my sight. I knew of a woman who was desperate for a baby but advised to terminate to save her sight, she was heartbroken but realised she'd rather have no baby than have a baby and no sight.

I do fear for women with this condition in countries where abortion is not available, it is linked to diabetes which is becoming much more prevalent now and in women of childbearing age (it's not gestational diabetes btw, it's linked to long term poor control of T1 or T2 diabetes)

The pro lifers/ anti choice-ers would probably not give a shiny shite about a woman going blind because she had no access to abortion either early on if she knew she had the condition, or later term if she got pregnant and then developed it late in pregnancy as can happen.

I considered terminating my current, unplanned, pregnancy. I already have 3 DC, one with SN, and we were finished at three. We decided to go ahead so for all it was a shock it ended up being a happy shock. If it was to happen again, hopefully won't as DH is getting the snip, then I'd terminate because a fifth DC would be unfair on my existing DC, would damage my health, and would bugger us financially - four we can afford, five is the point where we'd need to start scrimping.

boopsy In the USA pro lifers bomb abortion clinics and murder the doctors.
They dont just condone other people who do it, they do it themselves.

There are so many reasons to justify the vitriol towards them' its not because they have a different point of view. Its because they actively cause harm and deaths.

It's a very simple argument. Women will terminate pregnancies; always have, always will. Do we want them to terminate safely, without the risk of sepsis and a horrible death? Then abortion has to be legal.
Making it illegal will not stop abortions. It will just lead to the deaths of more women.

boopsy they're hanging around outside the maternity hospitals with placards stating that abortion is murder and harassing already vulnerable people - sometimes 16 year old girls, woman that have been raped, in abusive relationships, or any other reason they have for abortion. They have been seen to spit at girls and woman and harass medical staff.

I stand by my statement that they are sanctimonious arseholes.

Very few woman could have an abortion and 'just move' on as you stated. Most of these woman & girls have made a decision based on their own perfectly valid reasons, it doesn't mean it is an easy thing to do.

Btw I'm a Christian, these horrible judgemental people do not speak for me.

Blue Irene Vilar is an old argument, one shown to be unprovable many times over. She was also ill.
Apart from which, one person does not a valid argument make.
As for your absolute nonsense about a foetus and a baby being one and the same, have you let the scientific community know yet? Have you managed to publish a paper? Has it been peer reviewed? Do direct me to the site.

A member of my immediate family gave birth to a severely disabled, brain damaged baby due to the baby surviving an illegal abortion attempt. Horrifying.

If pro-lifers put a fraction of the time they spend campaigning against abortion into campaigning for better sex education, better access to free/affordable birth control, better support/benefits for single mums or low income mums, affordable widespread childcare, employee childcare as standard, better support for DV victims, more legal resources for DV and rape survivors, an overhaul of the way the criminal justice system handles rape, etc. etc. etc. that would do far more to actually reduce the abortion rate, than screaming abuse at vulnerable women. The only practical way to reduce abortion rate is to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies.

I do not believe some pro-lifers care about reducing abortion rate, they care about controlling and punishing female sexuality.

However, it crosses the line when someone thinks abortions shouldn't be legal in cases of rape

You see I'm pro choice but I don't understand pro lifers who are against abortion, but think if a woman has been raped then it should be allowed. If they truly care about these unborn lives as they say they do, then why do they allow the circumstances of conception to change their mind. Surely they should stand by their beliefs regardless, that a fetus is an innocent 'baby' with a right to life. It just proves to me that it's the woman they are preoccupied with rather than the fetus.

Pro life = misogynistic controlling vile cunts.

for you op.

I think it is a bloody stupid policy... lots of women will die as they seek illegal abortions and their social service system will be overwhelmed.
A policy made by men that is very anti women.

Pro-lifers should have to go onto a registry for adoption/fostering. If they are so adamant the baby must be born then they should also be responsible for raising the children.

Pro-lifers should have to go onto a registry for adoption/fostering. If they are so adamant the baby must be born then they should also be responsible for raising the children.

I wouldn't want that bunch of judgemental cunts to have responsibility for children.

Ducky Mother and baby homes are temporary accomodation Where do they move to after that.

Can we have a link to this charity.

Charities usually have publicity drives and campaigns Does this one?

Also with this they should do a bill that the men that father these children should be forced into work to support these children if able to work.