...to think if abortion was illegal I may be dead

[Woman1980]

I've name changed as I still feel a lot of shame on this issue. Just listened to the discussion of abortion on Woman's Hour.

I was with my exH from the age of 14, got pregnant at 15 and (very much against my will) was coerced into an abortion by my parents. I had a Very much wanted DC at 17. When DC was 14 months I found I was pregnant again; exH & I had planned a sibling for DC. Some weeks later exH changed his mind; I went to the scan on my own, baby was 13.5 weeks and I went home to tell exH that I was going ahead with pg it was too late for a surgical abortion. Eventually he convinced me that he would leave me and I would ruin dc's life and I rang family planning clinic at 16 weeks distraught to arrange termination. I went alone and was left alone until the baby was out. I desperately wanted to see the baby and know the sex, but kept silent to keep up the pretence. I completely blocked it for a few years, but as dc got older I walked my missing child to school with dc everyday too ifykwim.
Both times it was clear (I'm pretty sure) that it was not my choice. However, I still totally support the right to abortion and think that perhaps I may have been forced into an unsafe abortion if the law was different. I just feel that the "pro life" movement is nothing of the sort and I cannot begin to understand it.
Does anyone else have similar experiences?

I read that Trump is only doing what every Republican president does regarding funding of abortion. The Democrat presidents reverse the decision.

tells you a lot, doesn't it?

Pro-lifers are fucking sanctimonious arseholes. They stand outside my local maternity hospital with their placards. It made me so angry when I was going their for my baby's scans. I actually mentioned it to a midwife there and it turns out they all hate them too.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through, OP. I agree that if abortion was illegal it wouldn't make all the reasons that women have them disappear, so they'd have to go to some back street clinic.

I am lucky to have two healthy and planned children but I found pregnancy to be absolutely horrendous, I was so ill and in so much pain. I was always pro-choice, but that made my feelings even stronger. It's awful when you want to be pregnant, I couldn't imagine having to go through all of that if I didn't.

Most pro lifers are not pro life. They are pro birth,they couldn't give a shit what life or quality of life the baby and mother would have after birth.

If a woman gets pregnant by accident and isn't in a position to bring up a child it should her choice to have an abortion.

My dear old mum had a friend (in the 1950s) who used a back-street abortionist as she felt desperate, tragically she died as it was botched.

Mum also had a very badly mentally handicapped 2nd child who had to go into residential care. If the GP had been able to ask her, "Mrs Morning, we can do something to prevent this," she would have said, "Yes please." Would any of the pro-lifers like to be in that position? Heartbreaking.

I heard Woman's Hour this morning too. Good programme. The woman from Newcastle was so articulate. How can anyone listen to that and want to go back? The SPUC-er who came on later said things weren't that bad now, and nobody was left totally alone as we had welfare (or words to that effect). It was delusional.

I'm a practising Christian as well as a passionate advocate of a woman's right to her own body. As said before you simply cannot look at the figures which show so clearly that banning abortion increases maternal death and want to take away the right to a safe and timely abortion.

That photograph yesterday was beyond sad.

as a few other people have said, since having seen my early scans while pregnant i personally wouldn't have an abortion. i do believe it's the ending of a life - but i would defend the right of any women to choose what she does with her body. no one should be forced to be pregnant and give birth, it's bloody traumatic even when you're totally on board with the concept!

Make no mistake, the only thing 'pro-life' is about is punishing women for having sex.

I am pro choice. Part of that is down to the vitriol of the "pro life" people.
I, personally, don't think I could have an abortion. However I've never found myself in a position of being pregnant and not wanting to be. I don't actually know what I'd do if in a truly desperate situation. I'm not going to judge someone who has been in that situation and made the decision to abort.
I read something someone put up on FB about women who have abortions. It was a horrible, judgemental and full of hate post. I really wanted to respond, but didn't as there's really nothing you can say that doesn't result in people saying things like "Do you support murdering babies then?"
I wanted to ask her if she'd actually considered the motives of the women choosing to abort. They might be stuck in an abusive situation where having a child is a bad idea, they might be in financial dire straits, etc etc.
I am a Christian. I believe in compassion and not judging. Well, I do my best!

Pro-life has absolutely nothing to do with life. It's simply about power and control.

I don't understand how anyone who understands the concept of putting yourself in another person's shoes can be anti abortion. Especially men.

I am pro-choice (although I would never want to have an abortion myself) and pregnancy/motherhood absolutely solidified my pro-choice stance. Pregnancy and young babies are so much hard work even when the child is wanted; I shudder to think what it would be like if you didn't really want the child.

Abortion is still illegal in northern ireland even if baby has no hope of survival.

I agree that women have every right to choose what happens with their own bodies. other people don't have to agree with their choices but they shouldn't try to shame them for it.

posters above have mentioned zygotes and foetuses- out of interest does anyone know the difference and when a zygote becomes a foetus? Sorry if slightly off topic, it just got me wondering when I saw the previous posts.

Im pro choice As early as possible as late as necessary.

I think Stacey Dooley has a prog about pro lifers on BBC1 tonight.

Has anyone on here seen the film If These Walls Could Talk. It was made about 21 years ago.

A zygote is the first 24hrs of a fertilised egg.

Then it becomes an embryo until it is 8wks.

From 8wks onwards it is a foetus.

It remains a foetus until birth and is not legally recognised as a person in its own right until that point.

If we had improved contraception, there wouldn't need to be as many abortions, and the heartache that goes with them. No judgement from me op I agree it should be legal, and women should have the right to choose. I got pregnant at 18, so I know how easy it is (pill fail), but I've been really careful since. But I'm aware not everyone wants or can have an implant or coil, they can apparently reduce fertility, aren't safe for certain people etc. Aren't there supposed to be male contraceptives currently being developed? I think I read something last year about a male hormone patch. If you could stick a patch on dp as well using a condom, or something else, that's would surely go a long way towards reducing accidental pregnancy rates.

Yes abortion still illegal in N.I. There are ways for the meds for early abortions to be shipped in, by post or drone, but if something goes wrong, and you go to hospital, and they find out, you can face prosecution. I don't know if the midwives and dr's could tell it wasn't a natural miscarriage, but I would imagine they'd be sympathetic and discreet about it if they could. The last girl in serious trouble for it, her pro life flatmates phoned the police and reported her.

Abortion is also heavily restricted in the Isle of Man, I know it's not technically part of the UK but it's residents are UK citizens.

Sadly abortion is still illegal in parts of the UK. Women in NI do not have the same reproductive choices as women in England, Scotland and Wales.

I will be pro choice til the day I die

wicked a male contraceptive injection was being trialed and found to be 96% effective however the researchers halted it as they felt the side effects outweighed the benefits.

What were the side effects?

• acne
• change in libido
• change in weight
• emotional disturbances
• tenderness at injection site
• muscle aches

In other words, the same fucking side effects as the contraceptive pill that's been deemed as safe for women to take.

The NHS page about the male contraceptive research gives a fairly balanced report of the findings, including why it was halted.

www.nhs.uk/news/2016/10October/Pages/Male-contraceptive-jab-effective-but-side-effects-are-common.aspx

I was going to add that in the UK we need to look at our own laws. It's disgraceful that those in a small part of the country are being denied the same right to choose as those who live elsewhere.

It brings shame on our government and those who continue to block change.

I also think Trump is a cunt for this and pretty much everything else he stands for but definitely this.

I hate the pro lifers who stand outside abortion clinics. They have no idea what the women inside are going through, or the reasons behind their decisions to be there. It's a disgrace that they think it's their right to shout abuse at women who have made difficult decisions. We should be supporting women in these situations and not discriminating against them.

A republican senator has presented a Bill to Congress called the Heartbeat Bill. It seeks to make abortion illegal in all cases except risk to maternal life (physical risk only, not including suicide) after 6wks gestation.

Apparently it probably won't be accepted into law. This is from the same country that probably wouldn't vote Trump in as President...

yabu the moral outrage on this thread is outrageous 'i hate pro lifers' when all there doing is protecting life they get this kind of venomous response as the the feutus is part of the body which inst true somebody body parts all share the same genetic code however the feotus and mother dont they can be different gender and have different blood types