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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not pay for friend's taxi?

338 replies

GambaJoe · 23/01/2017 15:36

Best friend and I have been very excited to go to a mutual friend of ours wedding for some time.

Beat friend has recently had a baby so is excited to let her hair down and show off her baby.

I've recently learned to drive and have my license. I am still a nervous driver and friend is now assuming that I'll be driving her and baby to wedding.

The thing is: I don't want a baby in my car. I don't feel ready to have that responsibility on my shoulders (not only for a worse case scenario but also crying while driving ect)

Friend is now in a huff and expecting me to pay or contribute to her getting there and getting back home.

WWYD? Drive the baby or help/pay taxi fare

OP posts:
Leviticus · 23/01/2017 17:02

To echo what others have said she's being ridiculous to expect a financial contribution from you but also you absolutely need to pull yourself together over the driving. You are a grown woman with a driving license. Just give them a lift!

heron98 · 23/01/2017 17:02

I'd just drive her and the kid. What are you worried about? If you have an accident and kill your friend, that's as bad as killing the baby. A life is a life. Either you can drive or you can't.

diddl · 23/01/2017 17:02

If you want to drink, why wouldn't you share a taxi?

Presumably that would have been the plan if you hadn't passed?

dubdurbs · 23/01/2017 17:05

Where does OP say she's going to drink drive? All I got from her last post was that she would share in the toast but as she is not a drinker she would be on fizzy drinks for the rest of the evening.

Regarding your friend, OP-tell her to jog on. She has assumed that you were okay to do her this favour without actually asking you. If she had the decency to, she would have asked you if it was okay to take a lift from you and mentioned the baby at the same time.

NerrSnerr · 23/01/2017 17:06

Chips the statement is ambiguous, it says 'if I stop with alcohol after the toasts' that means that the OP could be drinking before the toast too, which is possible at a wedding as there's often a glass of bubbly after the ceremony and then wine on the table during the meal (and of course the bar).

LizB62A · 23/01/2017 17:06

I'm not a drinker, so if I stop with alcohol after the toast and stick to fizzys I'll be OK to drive by the time I'm ready to go home

So how many drinks do you plan to have by then?!

As an inexperienced driver, you really should avoid alcohol when driving as you don't want anything to impair your driving (e.g. alcohol, crying baby etc.)
As an experienced driver (37 years driving so far), I only ever have 1 drink, then stick to water for the rest of the day/evening

chipsandchilli · 23/01/2017 17:10

NerrSnerr suppose it depends how you read it, that's how i read it, op will have to clarify if she means a glass at the toast or up until the toast. I think most people who have just passed their test and are posting about being worried about driving a baby as they are not confident wont be drinking enough to put them over the limit

TeaCakeLiterature · 23/01/2017 17:11

Why the hell should you contribute?! It's up to her to find her way - whether that's by requesting a lift off someone who is willing to or by getting a taxi or by driving herself. It's no one else's responsibility to et her there! Crazy!

RubixCircle · 23/01/2017 17:11

People saying the mother is less likely to start screaming clearly hasn't met my friend. I was driving her and her 3 week old son to the shops once (I had been driving many years already so was not nervous), it was summer so had the windows open slightly, friend was in the back with baby, when she suddenly screamed at the top of her bloody lungs! I almost slammed the breaks on thinking I was about to hit someone! Luckily I didn't so didn't cause anyone to ram the back of my car but it was a massive shock and could have easily caused me to do something like emergency break. Turns out it was because we'd driven past some minor roadworks and she was panicked some dust may come in the car where the baby was. I had a massive go at her after because she scared the shit out of me and almost caused an accident!

Leviticus · 23/01/2017 17:12

I meant that in an encouraging 'you can do it and you'll feel amazing for overcoming your fear' kind of way.

MargaretCavendish · 23/01/2017 17:13

What are you worried about? If you have an accident and kill your friend, that's as bad as killing the baby. A life is a life. Either you can drive or you can't.

But if the baby is distracting then an accident is much more likely. I have some sympathy here. I was on a train the other day where I was hoping to concentrate on reading a work document but a baby wailed solidly for 45 minutes. I couldn't concentrate even a little - now, obviously, in that scenario it didn't much matter, but if I'd been trying to drive (especially if I were new and inexperienced)... I think parents forget what it's like not to be used to the noise of a baby. Even babbling can be a pretty distracting and even alarming sound if you don't spend much time around a baby.

chipsandchilli · 23/01/2017 17:13

and i agree, as a new driver i wouldn't drink anything, just didn't get from the post op meant she will be drinking anything other than the toast drink.

Sentmeamonkey · 23/01/2017 17:13

Both BU, if your that much of a nervous driver should you even be driving! What are you thinking the newborn will do, try and unbuckle the seatbelt and jump around the back seat. Can't she sit in the back with baby, stick to roads you can easily pullover incase baby does start a commotion.
She is UR to expect you to pay for her taxi.

Leviticus · 23/01/2017 17:15

Also this may have already been suggested but how about you take friend and baby for a couple of test runs locally this week to build your confidence?

Teatowelfairy · 23/01/2017 17:15

Sounds like friend believed you both would be travelling together to the wedding regardless of if you passed your test or not.
If you'd failed how where you planning on getting there? I'm guessing you would have shared a taxi with friend. Maybe friend thought you'd want a drink so would still be sharing a taxi but then later found out that you planned on driving instead. So it seems reasonable that friend would have presumed that you would still be travelling together in your car. However, now you've dropped her in it at short notice by saying no baby, which leaves friend with double the taxi fare plus no help carting baby and all baby stuff with her.
Both you and your friend are BU. Friend for requesting you pay half and you for changing travel plans and leaving her with double the travel cost she would have budgeted for at such short notice. I understand why you say no baby but personally I would share a taxi with friend.

Xmasbaby11 · 23/01/2017 17:17

I wasn't a confident driver either but it wouldn't occur to me to pick and choose who to give lifts to. I think it's very unusual to refuse to give someone with a baby a lift - normally friends bend over backwards to help each other.

AmeliaJack · 23/01/2017 17:21

I agree with Scottishdiem I think that lots have you have forgotten what it's like to be a brand new driver. The noise of a potentially screaming baby would be distracting if you had little experience.

However all that aside. You are never entitled to a lift from anyone. I'm an adult I make my own travel arrangements for myself and my children, I'd certainly never assume someone would take us somewhere or ask for compensation if they couldn't.

So rude.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 23/01/2017 17:23

Why does she need to take a taxi and not a Train?

Wtfdoipick · 23/01/2017 17:26

Why does she need to take a taxi and not a Train?

It is possible that the area just isn't covered by trains

MommaGee · 23/01/2017 17:28

How far away is the wedding? If its costing that much each way, and you need to stop every 2 hours to give the baby a break from the car seat, then stopping for the evening do and doing the same back that's a very long time with a new baby. Can't Daddy have him and if she wants to show off baby she can have a naming ceremony?

Twooter · 23/01/2017 17:29

Just another warning- stay off the alcohol but don't replace it with coke or coffee or the extra caffeine may well make it harder to drive as well.

Meluzyna · 23/01/2017 17:32

Sentmeamonkey*

if you're that much of a nervous driver should you even be driving?
This.

Presumably you will be returning home after dark after a long and quite tiring day. If you're an inexperienced and nervous driver is this really a good thing? Would you not be better off getting a taxi with your friend? And then getting a lot more experience so that next time you can drive.

An acquaintance of mine refused to take pregnant friends in her car "in case she had an accident" and she'd been driving for years.
You are going to have to bite the bullet sooner or later, but it's not unreasonable to want to get more practice first.

TrickyD · 23/01/2017 17:33

What is meant to happen about a car seat for the baby? Has she got one or does she intend to borrow one?

myfavouritecolourispurple · 23/01/2017 17:34

I agree with NerrSnerr - you should not be drinking AT ALL if you're driving that evening / night

Rubbish, a glass of fizz at the toast is fine. One unit will be gone after an hour especially if you are having a big meal too.

And as a driver it is 100% down to you who you drive to places and when. It is not mean to refuse to take a young baby. Especially if you are a new and nervous driver. It's not just about the baby being a distraction, it's feeling the responsibility of a new/young baby in the car. Don't you all remember driving home from the hospital at about 15mph with your pfb?

Why on earth is she taking her baby anyway? It would be a lot cheaper for her to find a babysitter and go in the car with you - minus baby. And she'd have a better time.

A lot of nonsense on this thread.

gamerchick · 23/01/2017 17:35

I think id just get the train tbh. Weddings need alcohol just to make them bearable. There'll be no issues then if you do that.

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