Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for friend's taxi?

338 replies

GambaJoe · 23/01/2017 15:36

Best friend and I have been very excited to go to a mutual friend of ours wedding for some time.

Beat friend has recently had a baby so is excited to let her hair down and show off her baby.

I've recently learned to drive and have my license. I am still a nervous driver and friend is now assuming that I'll be driving her and baby to wedding.

The thing is: I don't want a baby in my car. I don't feel ready to have that responsibility on my shoulders (not only for a worse case scenario but also crying while driving ect)

Friend is now in a huff and expecting me to pay or contribute to her getting there and getting back home.

WWYD? Drive the baby or help/pay taxi fare

OP posts:
happypoobum · 23/01/2017 17:38

YANBU but I can see it's tricky now as you could have just said, Oh I am not driving because I am drinking, let's get a taxi.

You do not owe her, or anyone a lift. If you are worried about being distracted by a crying baby, then I agree you shouldn't take them.

Is train/taxi an option?

meganorks · 23/01/2017 17:46

Yeah I would be pissed off if you offered to drive and are driving anyway bit wouldn't give my baby a lift. Like others say, why don't you give it a few test runs. A short local trip and then maybe a little further and on country roads or a motorway, whatever your actual journey will involve. Most babies just sleep in the car anyway. If the baby screams the whole time or the mother turns into a precious backseat driver, then you have legitimate grounds to refuse.

MargaretCavendish · 23/01/2017 17:56

Like others say, why don't you give it a few test runs. A short local trip and then maybe a little further and on country roads or a motorway, whatever your actual journey will involve.

Because the wedding's on Saturday!

yellowfrog · 23/01/2017 17:59

As mentioned above, unless someone has a child seat, the debate is irrelevant anyway as you can't take the baby without a childseat

civilfawlty · 23/01/2017 18:00

Drinking and driving. You are an irresponsible idiot and your friend and their baby are better off without you. I hope someone reports you.

rollonthesummer · 23/01/2017 18:01

Drinking and driving. You are an irresponsible idiot and your friend and their baby are better off without you. I hope someone reports you.

Hmm
MommaGee · 23/01/2017 18:05

*yellowfrog

As mentioned above, unless someone has a child seat, the debate is irrelevant anyway as you can't take the baby without a childseat*

Most travel systems include a car seat

Celaena · 23/01/2017 18:07

If you are a new driver, you should not have ANY alcohol and drive
You can adequately toast with juice, you don't need alcohol

You should take her and the baby but just make sure you have plenty of time

Starypjs · 23/01/2017 18:07

I think that's fair enough I have quite bad eats and I cannot fucking stand screeching and loud noises while I'm driving no way would a new baby be in my car for longer than it takes me to get the 4 miles to the asda

MargaretCavendish · 23/01/2017 18:11

If you are a new driver, you should not have ANY alcohol and drive
You can adequately toast with juice, you don't need alcohol

Oh come on, this is pretty hysterical. A few sips of fizz hours before she gets back in the car really, really aren't going to make any difference.

QueenMortificado · 23/01/2017 18:13

I know this wasn't what you asked but you really shouldn't be drinking anything as a new driver

Original poster
GambaJoe · 23/01/2017 18:13

Hi all.

I'm not going to be drinking and driving: we have been invited to the whole day's event so one half-filled glass in the afternoon would be OK. And again I'll see on the day; I might not feel like drinking anything .

And how it all came about: the date of the wedding was set a year and a half in advance, in that time I obviously went and got my licence and friend had baby. Friend said nearer to the time she'd decide if she'd go at all/alone/with baby.
Of course, there's only so much you can discuss about a wedding that isn't yours so the topic wasn't discussed until last Saturday where I told her that I wouldn't be OK with DD. She was miffed so I told her that I'll think it over as it's a big choice.

I feel really shit about it, and from talking to DP, and you guys I'll probably just split the taxi fare with her and be done with it.

OP posts:
QueenMortificado · 23/01/2017 18:14

we have been invited to the whole day's event so one half-filled glass in the afternoon would be OK.

I'm a new driver too, but feel generally ok about driving, and would still never do this. What's the point? Just remain alert and without any alcohol in you, esp if you're nervous

Although I see you're now getting a cab the point remains for future journeys

ChasedByBees · 23/01/2017 18:15

I wouldn't split the taxi fare, her getting their is entirely her responsibility.

ChasedByBees · 23/01/2017 18:15

*There

00100001 · 23/01/2017 18:15

How far away is this wedding? how long will you be driving for and out for?

Are you going to the whole thing or just the party bit?

How would you have got to the wedding of you hadn't passed your test?

Why have you left it until now to tell the friend?

rollonthesummer · 23/01/2017 18:15

Why did she assume you'd be driving though? Did you tell her that you would be or not correct her?

BrowsOnFleek · 23/01/2017 18:26

Paying for her taxi fare would be admitting you feel it's your responsibility. If she never asked you to go in the car with you, why feel bad about it? I think paying the fare is enabling that kind of behaviour.

Coffeeisnecessary · 23/01/2017 18:40

You will be going IN the taxi that you are half paying for right?! Much nicer as then you can both have a drink without worrying!

Original poster
GambaJoe · 23/01/2017 18:43

She assumed she'll be coming with me as I have a car and licence.
I've told her throughout my lessons and after that I'm a nervous driver. This wedding was a kind of "do or die" for me. I wanted to take the chance to driver further a field, so I'll be shitting my pants doing the drive and the added pressure of a baby just isn't what I wanted or needed.

OP posts:
shockthemonkey · 23/01/2017 18:45

Wow. Did you actually promise her, all that time back (before you even had your licence), that you would definitely pass your test in time, definitely have your own wheels and definitely be happy to ferry her and baby to the wedding?

Thought not.

Weird.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 23/01/2017 18:51

She's BU to assume you'd take her and want to split the taxi fare but YABU for happily drinking alcohol (yes even half a glass early in the day) and driving but saying you won't take a newborn. If you're nervous, you should absolutely not be drinking. I can't believe you don't realise the risks you are taking with this.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 23/01/2017 18:57

If you have passed your test you will be safe to drive. I think you are being massively over cautious. Get some courage!

OTOH your friend is being U for being arsey with you.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 23/01/2017 18:59

The easiest solution to this of course, OP, is to speak to the bride and get her to ban children from the wedding.

Sorted.

she says only half in jest

DearMrDilkington · 23/01/2017 18:59

How long is the actual drive?