To have finally done it and left dh.

[HannahSmithson45]

Gone and left dh. The last have been hell, if you don't remember my previous posts, in short my stepchildren have bullied my son, my husband had booked a holiday without me and my son (later rectified). Yesterday my stepson violently punched and kicked my son. My son was punched in the face and kicked in the groin (you know where). This started over ds taking the tv show stepkids were watching off pause. I blame myself partly because I told ds last time to stick up for himself when they call him names. So ds called them names from there. I was upstairs at the time of the fight ( not really as ds never hit back). I came down and that was it I had a massive shout at the two stepchildren and left. I went straight to the police station as that is assault.

I am pregnant with dh child and I am so lost. I am not going back to that house so he can be punched and kicked physically and verbally. I made sure ds was okay as it can be serious getting a blow down there.
Dh is begging me to come back and I have said that it is me or the stepkids and that is it.

They have been punished very severely for this. There mum is picking them and dropping from school as they are not to go to friends and they have lost allowance for 4 months.

How does your ds feel about that?

I've always taught ds to be a forgiving person, I'm not overly religious but I raised him with the principles of forgiveness. He is glad they are facing punishment for their awful behaviour.

I agree with NurseP way too soon to be thinking of reconciling, if I was your son I'd still be extremely nervous of them, I'd probably never want to see them again tbh

I'm glad too - I agree whatever you do it needs to be slow, the situation is clearly very stressful for everyone involved and I would be afraid too if I was ds.

Well done Hannah. Please continue to put your DS's needs first.

I would take it all very slowly here. As much as he has apologised DSS needs some form of anger management as does DSD by the sounds of it. They need individual therapy and then also family therapy with you as a family. Do not move back in with them until you know it is safe to do so. If you do then step children can not live or stay there overnight funtil it is safe/your DS and yourself feel safe to have them around. It will take a long time but to be honest, they should be prepared for that. and for you and your son.

This isn't just about safety for your son br also for you and your unborn baby. If they can attack your son then there is a risk for you/baby as well. DH should get the ball rolling with anger management now.

What disgusting behaviour from your SS by the way. Appalling.

So are you getting back with him?

This does sound very positive. Agreed though that you need to take time, a lot of it, apart, before even thinking about perhaps reconciling.

This is all very well and good, but actions speak louder than words. You need to stay put until your family has had some counseling sessions and the counselor says it is time to move back.

I wouldn't be encouraging my child to be too forgiving too quickly in this situation. It sounds like you think it's a good thing that your DS is being 'forgiving', but is there a chance he will forgive in order to keep the peace and put his own feelings to one side too much?

Stay put until you are sure that the punishments aren't revoked or forgotten about. At least

When I say stay put I mean don't go back to him.

Your an amazing mother, you have put your son first and done what's best for him.

Your husband should have never let it get to the point where his children are bullying your son & making your son feel like he's an outsider or not wanted!

Do his kids live with him?

I'm so glad you worked out what to do for the best. I read one of your other posts and it hit home because I have a DS17 as well as younger kids with my partner and a DSD. I am so happy you had the strength to put your DS first. I've imagined you going over and over what to do for the best, just as I have done (though our situations are completely different!) and you've done the right thing. I hope that with time your DSC will sort themselves out and you and your DH will work things out.
Please don't rush things. I really hope things end up well for you.

Also, be ready for more bullying at school, the step children may think this is out of their parents control, & it will be easy to be hateful & blame him after a while when they are grounded

No I'm still a long way off from moving back in. The stepson has had anger management in the past. Maybe and I will suggest this to dh he has it again.

Sorry if ive missed this but has your step son apologised to your son or just you? Its a fab step that your DH has finally showed you that he respects you and your son and has actually punished his children, at least they now know he wont take them abusing you.

Stepson did apologise to ds. I agree it is a good sign the root of the anger needs to be solved though. Because I don't believe they are angry at ds, it's misdirected anger.

Im so glad he apologised to him, also I think that's its great he had a police caution. You actually may have done DSS a favour for the future, he knows now there will be police consequences if he does something like that again.. I think though OP you need to make sure your DH knows you mean fucking business! No more fucking around he needs to step up, I would personally blame him..he allowed it to get to this. Sorry for the swearing (im in a sweary mood) xx

Most definitely

I have an update, step dc have brought ds a present. They brought him a nice aftershave. I think if it is genuine it is really positive behaviour and I'm feeling positive for the future.

that's good - your DH should be very worried that his DS has already had one round of anger management and did this attack after that though, that's not great for his future prospects, I hadn't realized he'd already had therapy. Quite worrying. They definitely need a lot of help. I'm glad things are looking positive but it is a worry to hear that DSS has even more form for acting out and has already had therapy that didn't solve the issue.