She stole my name!

[tepidtulip]

Ok so I have name changed for this as this is probably going to be very identifying and I don't fancy people working out who am I am then finding all my previous posts. Mainly all the disgusting things I recently admitted to!

I'm pregnant and due February 22nd(!!!). My hormones are all over the place so I really don't know whether I'm over reacting or not. It took me a long time to get pregnant and during this time many of my friends had children and I was genuinely so pleased for them but also (only in private, I hope) incredibly jealous. I say this because I feel like I understand what it's like to want children and not currently have them and therefore I have tried to stay calm.

My DHs sister (my SIL) is in her late 40s and single, having broken up with a long term partner a couple of years ago. After the break-up things were understandably very difficult for her and she moved back in with my ILs. A few weeks ago we asked me what names we were thinking of for our baby as she wanted to do some embroidery and I (stupidly) told her we'd decided on Toby.

Last week I popped over to the ILs and SIL has got a new puppy that she is currently referring to as 'her baby' which I thought was sweet. He's a choc lab and absolutely gorgeous if it matters. However she's called him Tobias which obviously is being shortened to Toby!!

I'm absolutely fuming. At the time I said oh but that's our name for our baby and she did a fucking tinkling laugh and said 'oh but nobody owns a name'. I went home and absolutely bawled my eye out to DH who gave her a ring and tried to explain how we felt. She is refusing to change the dogs name and has passed on a message through our ILs that we graciously doesn't mind if we copy her baby's name but she won't be changing it.

I know nobody owns a name and I know I was so, so stupid to tell her the name early but seriously what the fuck?! Am I being irrational or is this just fucking crazy?!

Its odd she didn't change it knowing the upset it was causing.given its only the dog name
Had another child been called Tobias,then I'd say no she shouldn't change. BUT given its her dog name she should change

She's jealous and wanted to be vindictive. Call your baby Toby. Make sure everyone knows the story and that she is referred to as Crazy Auntie Dog

And seriously, people would cut off their siblings and cause family rifts, all for this shit?
Arrogant twats.

I can see why you are annoyed and upset. Call your child Toby anyway. In our family and through no fault of anyone we ended up with a baby Sam and a dog Sam. The dog started to get called Sam Dog and this stuck with everyone and the child that baby Sam grew into loved having the same name as Sam Dog.

Use Toby. Find the most annoying way of saying Tobias that you can and use it every time you see the dog. Plus refer to the dog as Toby's namesake at every opportunity.
Ordinarily I'd be a bit 'Get a grip' but she sounds like she's got a nasty streak to her.
Alternatively front her out, use another name and pretend Toby was never an option after you discovered from a pp on her that it's unfortunate Scottish slang and were winding her up...

Your SIL is a bitch. Call your baby what you want and reduce contact with her. She's a spiteful wagon.

Yeah still use the name, she's the one who will look like a saddo for being so jealous of you and your baby that she is using a dog as a replacement.

If you don't call your son Toby, mention EVERY time you are round there that the name is slang for penis in Scotland, and thank God you'd realised that before naming your son. Tell EVERYONE and laugh loudly about it EVERY time.

If you do want to call your son Toby - go for it.

Either way, you know never to trust SIL again.

What a cow. If you still love the name use it but i wouldn't. Actually I'd tell her it was ajoke and you would never use such a horrendous name, etc. You've played into her hands by getting upset.

Use the name. Your son will probably enjoy having a dog in the family with the same name, especially if you explain that the dog was named after him.

Nasty thing to do. Find a different name, you'll love it more.

I'd also be asking who did dhe dhag that she ended up with a puppy as a baby.

She's very jealous of you. You're married, starting a family and live in your own home. She has none of those things. And at her age.... But she didn't have to be such a bitch! Be seen to rise above it! Nobody else need ever know you'll hate the cow to your dying day. Call your child what you want. Few will ever know of the connection. Everyone will be asking your son's name, nobody but her will care enough about some random bloody dog to ever ask its name.

I wouldn't use Toby simply because baby Tobys are all over the place.

That was mean of your SiL though. Call your son Toby and refer to her dog as Tobias. The only Tobias I know insists on being called Tobias to differentiate him from the many Tobys.

Yes she's being a dick. But I wouldn't bawl my eyes out cos I'd just use the name anyway. It's only my SiL's dog, after all.

I'd still use the name and completely ignore her. If I were your husband I'd tell the ILs the truth and tell her she's a pathetic, jealous, bitter old hag.

I'd be nasty and hammer it home all the time how it's a dog and not a 'baby' and maybe she needs to see a psychiatrist about her delusions.

Start calling the dog Toblerone. That'll piss her off

Call your baby Toby and refer to the dog as "the dog". If anyone refers to the dog as Toby act confused and then say "oh, you mean the dog" and sniff. Then change the subject.

If it's any consolation I used to have a dog with the same name as me. Was an inherited dog and I didn't feel I could change her name. Was certainly a topic of conversation when various friends realised! "Oh you dog is lovely, what's her name". "Possum". "What you've named your dog after yourself"

Just call him Toby. They are not even the same species and dog Toby will be dead when baby Toby reaches secondary school age.

Just call him Toby. What she has done might be bonkers but it's a dog- it won't be around forever. I know quite a few babies and a couple of dogs called Toby so he won't be the only one with the same name anyway.

tepidtulip Did she do it because she's jealous of you now that it's unlikely she'll have her own child?

It is shitty if her but as other PPs have said, I'd still use the name. Don't let her ruin it for you.

I have a Toby (was 3 in September) and have had comments all the way from before he was born up until now like oh so and so has a dog named Toby... like the carvery bla bla bla... I love the name so I used it, his nn is tobes xx

What an utterly selfish woman.
She has allowed herself to become bitter, at the thought of you having it all.
You must call your little one Toby, if you so wish.
I am so 😡, on your behalf.
Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she has hurt you. 💐

She's a bitch and a bit pathetic to match! Just use the name (It's a great name) and then just avoid her where you can. Possibly buy a dog and call it SIL's name?