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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Furious: Girl Guides now admitting boys

506 replies

shinynewusername · 22/01/2017 10:06

Sorry for DM link but this is important. Brownies and Guides are going to admit boys if they identify as girls. Girls will have to share 'single sex' facilities including tents & changing rooms with them. Parents won't be told. Oh, and men who identify as women can become Brownie & Guide leaders, where they will get to supervise girls in those tents, changing rooms etc.

How is this possible? There is an epidemic of sexual abuse. We are still in the fall-out of Rotherham, Saville etc yet we are enabling men to have access to every safe space for girls. AIBU?

OP posts:
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AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 15:24

Would you have been up in arms if someone had said, of a husband in 1990, "he may be predatory but he can't be a rapist"?

Legally he wasn't a rapist.

titchy · 22/01/2017 15:24

That embarasses me, as a woman who wanted (and feel I now have) equal access to male spaces.

Great. Good for you. Not every woman is the same though. When all women feel the same as you, there'll be no need for separate spaces. Until then, there remains a need.

Suppermummy02 · 22/01/2017 15:24

Did they share tents?
Probably not but it wasn't raised as an issue by parents at any of the meetings. The children self selected to be in groups with their friends and I imagine they did the same with the sleeping arrangements, their is only so many ways you can fit 8 people into 3*3 man tents. Given their was no adults they were all 'mixing' between the tents all evening, so it was almost irrelevant.

You can't compare an agreed mixed sex event with one which should be single sex as there are not the same safeguards
So why don't they put in the appropriate safeguards, they should be there anyway because men can be there helping out.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 15:26

You are making a prediction

Nope. It's already happening.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 15:28

This sexism really annoys me men cannot have a male on group / area because its sexist but female can?

Probably for the same reason that ethnic minorities can have their own groups but white groups would be racist.

Think about it now.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 15:31

It usually comes down to their god having told them it's wrong.

Lol.

SWOTAnalysis · 22/01/2017 15:33

AVirginLitTheCandle
Would you have been up in arms if someone had said, of a husband in 1990, "he may be predatory but he can't be a rapist"?

Legally he wasn't a rapist.

You should be ashamed that that is your only comment on it.

titchy

When all women feel the same as you, there'll be no need for separate spaces.

Every single one. 100%? And if one says she needs the 'safe space' we all need to agree? Isn't that the definition of snowflakery?

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 15:37

You should be ashamed that that is your only comment on it.

Ashamed? Really now? The only thing I'm ashamed of is the fact that it took so bloody long for rape within marriage to become a crime. It's so fucked up that it was legal for a man to force sex on his wife in my lifetime.

venusinscorpio · 22/01/2017 15:37

It's not just one woman who feels the need for a sex segregated safe space, is it? Maybe try out a little of the empathy you are preaching to others? As always, people like you have fuck all for other women.

SWOTAnalysis · 22/01/2017 15:40

venusinscorpio

As always, people like you have fuck all for other women.

I've just been told to turn my phone off (flying).

I'd love to know more about people like me though. You mean TRAs? MRAs? I'm usually accused of being a man when someone gets obviously tetchy in their replies.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 22/01/2017 15:40

I agree that they should have help. Not because they have mental health problems but because they're 'uncommon' and may need help understanding this and how they fit in in a world where they are a minority. The same way I think gay should (and do) have access to help.

I don't see 'accepting without question' should mean withdrawing help.

Can't you see that saying it isn't a mental health issue is exactly why mental health support is being withdrawn.

It is transphobic to call it, let alone treat it as a mental health issue anymore.

Being progressive has set us back hundreds of years and the very people who think they are helping are the ones who are setting us back the most.

The trans movement is not helping people with gender identity disorder/dysphoria, it isn't helping confused children, it isn't helping women and girls, who exactly is it helping?

worridmum · 22/01/2017 15:40

but its still wrong and crap I have been on recruitment board whom basically said we are not employing males because we are a feminist company and everyone on the board bar me thought that was a good idea to have that has the recruitment ploicy.......

and Virgin please dont tell me you ascribe to the belief only white people can be racist.... as the names and abuse i have recived simply because i am a white female in certian areas of leicester would really upset people here but some people belive it is not racist because I am white..

Racisism and sexism are not always only white vs non- whites and males discrimating agisnt women and at the current rate of progress we are coming to the postion were it will be acceptable to be openly discrimate agaisnt white males

MercyMyJewels · 22/01/2017 15:43

SWOT
Your name may have changed but your posting style hasn't. I thought you had flounced yesterday?

worridmum · 22/01/2017 15:43

while i am not saying my experience is as bad as somes others we should not be asigning tiers to which is considered worse as it is a slippery slope and ALL RACISM AND SEXISM is wrong no matter the colour of your skin or your gender

MercyMyJewels · 22/01/2017 15:45

Sex not gender

SWOTAnalysis · 22/01/2017 15:47

Ha! Now I'm hiding my phone on my lap, but, Can't you see that saying it isn't a mental health issue is exactly why mental health support is being withdrawn.

Isn't there mental health help available for people coming out or have come out but still finding it tough? Gay people aren't asked to prove it. Why should trans people?

I don't know if it a mental health 'problem' any more than homosexuality. Of course it isn't NT though.

Surely calling it a problem means it's something that should be fixed and changed as opposed ot dealt with?

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 15:48

SWOT whilst I understand what you're trying to do by bringing rape within marriage into the discussion, I'm not sure it can be compared to the fact that women can't legally be charged with rape.

Women forcing sex on another person is not legal. However prior to 1991 a man forcing sex on his wife was legal.

If a woman has sex with someone without their consent then they can still be charged and convicted with sexual assault. Sexual assault sentencing is very similar to sentences given for rape.

If a man forced sex on his wife prior to 1991 then he wouldn't be charged with anything. Even if a woman went to the police to report him for rape then nothing would be done because according to the law he hadn't done anything wrong.

I think that's why comparing a husband raping his wife up until 1991 with a woman raping someone else today doesn't sit right with me. One was entirely legal whereas the other one isn't; it's just the offence they are charged with differs.

venusinscorpio · 22/01/2017 15:48

No,quite obviously I don't mean TRAs or MRAs. I made myself perfectly clear in my original email what kind of person I considered you to be and exactly why I had a problem with it.

DameDeDoubtance · 22/01/2017 15:48

Swot - why are you going on about marital rape? It just shows how terribly women have been treated over the years and how much young girls and women need their own space on occasion.

Do you think there are hoards of women rapists wondering around pouncing on men? Really? If a woman sexually assaults a man then he can complain, the law does not encourage and allow her to do so as it encouraged and excused marital rape.

Also Swot could a boy identify as a black boy and enter a group set up for black kids?

venusinscorpio · 22/01/2017 15:50

Not email, post.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 15:52

and Virgin please dont tell me you ascribe to the belief only white people can be racist

Confused Where did I say only white people can be racist?

titchy · 22/01/2017 15:52

Every single one. 100%? And if one says she needs the 'safe space' we all need to agree? Isn't that the definition of snowflakery?

If one woman out of the 35m in the U.K. said that, then yes, I'd call snowflake. But until we're at say 95% of women feeling safe, secure, respected and equal in rights and status, then a need exists.

I don't think we're there yet, do you?

venusinscorpio · 22/01/2017 15:53

Ah yes, Mercy. Of course, see it now!

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 22/01/2017 15:54

Gay people aren't asked to prove it. Why should trans people?

Gay people don't have to take lifelong hormones and have surgery.

If a child comes out as gay then that doesn't have to be forever, they can grow and mature and experiment if they choose to.

A child who has gender identity disorder and gets put onto blockers, then has hormones will have lifelong, irreversible effects all based on a feeling they had when they were 9 or 10.

I have no idea what help there is available for gay children and teens so I can't comment on what support, if any, they get.

jellyfrizz · 22/01/2017 15:57

That embarasses me, as a woman who wanted (and feel I now have) equal access to male spaces.

Try joining a male only golf club or Gentleman's club, or the Freemasons and come tell us how you get on, there are plenty of male only spaces which you wouldn't be allowed equal access to as a female.