Please tell me it's possible to have a teen DD who doesn't post pouting selfies and

[ASeriesofFortunateEvents]

responds to photos of friends' selfies with comments like "gorgeous girlie" "l❤️v u loads"

I have several goddaughters dotted around the country and look at photos on their twitter accounts (only chance I get to see them theses days!) and they're all HD brows, cleavages, knicker skimming dresses and babyish talk.

Now I know I might sound like Great Aunt Prudish but DD becomes a teenager next year and I need stories from MN about teenager girls who are NOT like my godaughters.

GreenGinger2 Sat 21-Jan-17 21:06:47

"I've taught dd to feel sorry for some of them too. The cringing lip synching videos many were sniggering at online and off. She never posted nasty remarks but pitied them. I told her it wasn't their fault their parents hadn't taught them self respect,what was appropriate or what would be cringy to others. That actually nobody is really interested in other people's selfies or lip synching videos."

I think you are damaging your dd by teaching her to feel superior and "sorry" for her peers. It is not at all necessary to keep her away from making pouting selfies, and to me it all seems part of the same sneering culture: "I'm really sorry for you, Amy- you're just sooo uncool" sounds like something a particularly immature queen bee might come up with, not something a parent should be encouraging.

I'm not saying they have. Most teenagers have more issues then a few selfies.

Drugs, Bullying, abuse, bereavement, family break ups.

Compared to them what's the harm in girls complimenting each other on some selfies.

Your basically telling your daughter she is better then some of her peers.

She's not a queen bee and never will be. Funnily enough it's the queen bees and mean girls who seem to be the most prolific selfie posters.

She's lovely,kind and has great morals. She just thinks the selfie culture is ridiculous and laughs at it. I can live with that.

GreenGinger2 Sat 21-Jan-17 21:11:31
"Shout I guide them re finding the selfie culture ridiculous just the same as I do with racism and homophobia.

Why are you allowed to guide on some issues and not others."

What has guiding got to do with sniggering and sneering?

Drugs,bullying etc have always been there. Selfie culture hasn't Mental health issues weren't at epidemic levels.They are now.

Selfies are not the only new additional challenge facing teens.

I sneer at racists.

As regards selfie culture seeing it for what it is involves some level of sneering. Sorry It's impossible not to. What do people think about teenagers and adults who plaster themselves in make up and post endless pictures of themselves doing mindnumbingly boring activities whilst seeking approval on how they look,counting likes,liking others( even though they probably don't).....

What exactly is one supposed to feel?

If people are honest many post to make others feel crap or themselves superior. Looking down on something and just voicing that in private is far worthier imvho.

Sneering is never good.

"If people are honest many post to make others feel crap or themselves superior. Looking down on something and just voicing that in private is far worthier imvho."

Why can't you explain your disapproval of a phenomenon without encouraging sneering at individual people who are caught up in this phenomenon?

Particularly as these are people she knows so she will either have to break with them or go around feeling two-faced.

Ah well she's lovely,kind,well balanced and not addicted to posting selfies so I think we'll survive.

Actually to be honest it's intriguing. Many she goes round with now aren't in to it so much. I think she has distanced herself from some,some have gone to different secondaries. I think she has found friends with more similar interests/ values to herself.

Oh of course,you know that for sure.

I think we're good so I shan't worry too much.

For looking down on the selfie culture.< shrugs> I can live with that.

Teenage mental health is at a high because mental health issues are diagnosed and treated more in this day and age.

There isn't as much stigma surrounding them any more.

How fucking simplistic to blame the rise of MH issues on selfies.

So it's just down to increased diagnosis?

Not sure why some posters have to be aggressive when they post. It's pathetic.

(Not directed to anyone in particular)

Left out of what?

Can happily say none of my friends use social media as described in the op.

Re aggression I'm not the one using f* in posts.

I'm pretty sure she meant me as I said you sound like an arsehole.

I shouldn't have said that. I apologise.

Of course we all guide our kids, I agree. I'm just surprised that it sounds like you're guiding yours to do exactly what I'm trying to prevent!

I'm totally on board with you discouraging the selfie culture if that's what you believe in, it's just the encouraging her to laugh at people, and getting her brothers involved too if she shows any deviation from the party line, that I think is strange. It's all a bit 'people like us don't do things like that', which I don't think is constructive or healthy for young people who are discovering who they are and who they want to be.

To paraphrase a PP, you're not inherently better than the parents of the girls who do this stuff, and your daughter isn't better than the girls.