Please tell me it's possible to have a teen DD who doesn't post pouting selfies and

[ASeriesofFortunateEvents]

responds to photos of friends' selfies with comments like "gorgeous girlie" "l❤️v u loads"

I have several goddaughters dotted around the country and look at photos on their twitter accounts (only chance I get to see them theses days!) and they're all HD brows, cleavages, knicker skimming dresses and babyish talk.

Now I know I might sound like Great Aunt Prudish but DD becomes a teenager next year and I need stories from MN about teenager girls who are NOT like my godaughters.

I think many parents overestimate what they really know about what their dcs are up to online. My DD16 had recently been in a major fight with her bf and as part of asking for my advice, she showed me some of her and her friends' texts and their online posts. Let just say that I've discovered a few things.

I follow my dds instagram accounts. But turns out DD16 has 3 accounts, as do most of her close friends. The one I am allowed to follow (rinsta, they call it) is her main one with 900+ followers. Her finsta has 150+ followers and her binsta has just 11 followers. I am not happy with some of her finsta posts, which btw, aren't as bad as some of her friends' finsta posts. I can only imagine what they post on their binstas... Had a gentle talk with DD about dangers of some of those posts. Oh, and those group chats! And the screenshots and the careless sharing of those!! Really, if you are worried about selfies, you ain't seen nothing yet.

I think that if we really knew what our dcs are up to, we'd all be a little less judgmental and smug. And before you say that your dd is a "good kid", so is my DD16 -- she ranks in the top 5% academically in her high school of 3000 kids, is captain of her high school varsity sports team, volunteers at a hospital and works a waitressing job.

I keep telling my kids don't put anything online you wouldn't publish on a 6' tall banner hung on the front of the house for anyone to read. I hope some of that sinks in.