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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why some people are in denial about their weight?

688 replies

penciltop · 21/01/2017 08:48

Not criticising anyone here but just wondering.

I had a morbidly obese friend who says she is that size because she is muscular and has 'big bones'. I don't comment but she clearly has a lot of fat on her body and she does overeat.

I have come across other people too who say people are healthier these days so are going to be bigger. People say it is because of genetics. Everyone is overweight in their family and that is the reason they are.

I know weight loss isn't easy - trying to lose weight myself! - but surely pretending it is because of reasons outside of your control isn't going to help. People keep telling me I am fine and I don't need to lose weight. Err yes I do according to BMI. I am in the overweight category

Not denying the reasons for people who have real medical reasons such as disabilities or because of medication

OP posts:
Basicbrown · 24/01/2017 19:09

*"Some people put on weight more easily than others, that's just factual."

That kind of illness affects something like one in a thousand people.*

Your words gwen. I put on weight less easily, personally.

Gwenhwyfar · 24/01/2017 19:12

Ah, yes, I think that for the most part those who claim that they put weight on more easily are in denial. There may be a small number of people with certain illnesses and genetic factors may play a small part, particularly in having an increased appetite, but it's mainly calories in versus calories out and pretending otherwise doesn't help anyone.

Basicbrown · 24/01/2017 19:15

But surely if some people put on weight less easily it stands to reason that others will put on weight more easily.....?

Unless all overweight people are mad secret eaters who stuff themselves with donuts the second I turn my back. Highly unlikely I think.

AddToBasket · 24/01/2017 19:15

On a personal level, I can't bear the idea of anyone feeling bad or hurt or shamed about their weight. That's just not OK and something that any discussion of weight should guard against. I've been overweight and hated it.

On a societal level, I do feel worried. All the excuses are here on this thread: medication, genetics, 'he's six stone overweight but still healthy', BMI doesn't mean anything, etc. Truly, there is some bullshit here. Medication or genetics might increase your propensity to weight but you still need to eat the stuff to get it to your hips.

This isn't about aesthetics. An overweight society has a financial cost attached to it. It is going to be expensive. There isn't an infinite amount of resources and I'm not sure that thin people want to pay for fat people, especially when it comes out of the budget of say, treating hereditary cancer. Most people would rather that their money was in their pocket or being used to fund dementia treatment. Paying for extra-wide operating tables is quite far down the list of what most people want NHS funds spent on.

Basicbrown · 24/01/2017 19:17

But we all get ill in the end, fat or thin. Arguably the younger you die the cheaper you are.

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 19:19

I used to share a house with a girl who was tall and skinny. She ate like a horse. Three huge meals a day and right before bed she'd have two rounds of toast with jam and peanut butter. She also took very little exercise. She had a car and drove everywhere. She just didn't put on weight. I am short and even when slim, I'm curvy. I used to walk everywhere, go to the gym, watch what I ate and I was slimmish but certainly not as skinny as she was. If I had adopted her diet and exercise habits, I know for a fact I would have put on a huge amount of weight.

HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 19:37

"OohNoDooEy Tue 24-Jan-17 15:12:19
I think we've completely lost sight of a normal weight"

We most certainly have. Thats why we have Alexandra Burke advertising Slim Fast.

HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 19:41

AddtoBasket Its because of attitudes like yours that i will be refusing steroids should i ever need them.

After working damn hard to lose ten stone i just cant stand the thought of being judged again.

Or abused in the street like i was before.

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 19:47

AddtoBasket

How dare you say that medication that makes you put on weight is just an excuse.

Honestly, the ignorance on this thread is astounding. It corresponds to so much I see around me in society. You can be an absolute cunt...Rude, nasty, unkind...But the most important thing is that your not a fat greedy pig...Oh yep, that would be much much worse...

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 19:48

*you're

Original poster
penciltop · 24/01/2017 19:48

I know for a fact I would have put on a huge amount of weight

You sound resentful of her and the fact that you can only eat one meal a day. Does it matter? You have found a way to maintain your weight. Well done Smile

OP posts:
formerbabe · 24/01/2017 19:50

You sound resentful of her and the fact that you can only eat one meal a day. Does it matter?

It does matter on a debate where people are saying that everyone will respond to food and exercise in the same way.

HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 20:00

formerbabe to maintain my weight i have to keep my sugar and carb intake as low as i can. Over Christmas i had more sugar than normal and it actually seems to have affected my menstrual cycle. Ive had a period every 13 days since Xmas.

It seems to be taking a while to right itself. I googled it and apparently a higher intake of sugar when you are not used to it can cause this.

I have to be VERY restrictive with my food just to maintain. Im also teetotal so God knows what i would weigh if i was a drinker.

AddToBasket · 24/01/2017 20:01

But we all get ill in the end, fat or thin. Arguably the younger you die the cheaper you are

This isn't true. The healthier you are, the cheaper you are.

AddToBasket · 24/01/2017 20:07

Its because of attitudes like yours that i will be refusing steroids should i ever need them. After working damn hard to lose ten stone i just cant stand the thought of being judged again.Or abused in the street like i was before.

EH? What I said was medication or genetics might increase your propensity to weight but you still need to eat the stuff to get it to your hips. (That's actually true!) I definitely didn't endorse abuse.

Congratulations on that weight loss, that's brilliant.

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 20:08

Im also teetotal so God knows what i would weigh if i was a drinker

I also don't drink!

Original poster
penciltop · 24/01/2017 20:13

It does matter on a debate where people are saying that everyone will respond to food and exercise in the same way

People are saying all sorts of things. It doesn't matter that much, people are sharing different perspectives and experiences. Not everyone is going to agree. You do sound very resentful though

OP posts:
Original poster
penciltop · 24/01/2017 20:14

but you still need to eat the stuff to get it to your hips

True

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 20:21

I posted this on the shaving thread but i think it belongs here too.

Many on here seem to be willing to take NHS advice on obesity as right and sound advice.

Yet NHS advice on intimate shaving and how it can increase risk of infection is played down and minimized.

So its not just one group who will believe what they want to.

HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 20:25

Basket when my husbands aunt was given steroids for MS she did gain weight through no fault of her own. She wasnt given steroids till she was in her 70s. Her diet did NOT change. She gained a lot of weight though.

There is far too much patient blaming going on with steroids because it suits the NHS wallet

candycoatedwaterdrops · 24/01/2017 21:34

Actually not many medications do make you gain weight, although many can make you hungrier and more fatigued. However, medications like anti-psychotics and steroids are a nightmare. I assume people like Addtobasket has been lucky enough to not have a serious disease where high doses of steroids are their only option.

PinkSwimGoggles · 24/01/2017 21:41

she did gain weight through no fault of her own. She wasnt given steroids till she was in her 70s. Her diet did NOT change. She gained a lot of weight though

steroids make it harder to keep your weight, but it's not impossible. dietary adjustment are necessary.

GoodGirlGoneWrong · 24/01/2017 22:07

I have to take a lot and I mean a lot of steroids - which in turn has made me gain a massive amount of weight! I am classed as obese.

With my illness I have been skin and bone around 7 stone at the worse and now I am nearly 16 stone. So sorry I'd rather be fat and alive than dead.

I am currently off the steroids and on another treatment which seems to be working at the moment and debating on starting slimming world (offered by my gp) I am not doing this because I am worried about how people see me I will be doing it for me.

I also struggle with exercise part of my condition has caused me to have arthritis which means my mobility is slightly reduced, not majorly it effects my hands and my elbows/shoulders, One thing I have been trying to do is walk an extra 5000 steps day, not running just extra steps to help me I find being outside makes me feel better.

Not all people are overweight because they are just fat many have hidden problems, I have not and never will judge a person on their weight.

HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 23:19

So for SEVEN decades + she managed to stay at 6 stone 10 (she was a very slight woman who always ate sensibly) and yet when she got to her 70s it was suddenly her fault if she didnt " adjust " her diet.

Some real mental gymnastics going on on this thread. Like i said.........patient blaming.

HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 23:21

For the last part of her life she couldnt even fucking swallow FFS!