Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To wonder why some people are in denial about their weight?

688 replies

penciltop · 21/01/2017 08:48

Not criticising anyone here but just wondering.

I had a morbidly obese friend who says she is that size because she is muscular and has 'big bones'. I don't comment but she clearly has a lot of fat on her body and she does overeat.

I have come across other people too who say people are healthier these days so are going to be bigger. People say it is because of genetics. Everyone is overweight in their family and that is the reason they are.

I know weight loss isn't easy - trying to lose weight myself! - but surely pretending it is because of reasons outside of your control isn't going to help. People keep telling me I am fine and I don't need to lose weight. Err yes I do according to BMI. I am in the overweight category

Not denying the reasons for people who have real medical reasons such as disabilities or because of medication

OP posts:
Original poster
penciltop · 24/01/2017 14:03

Sadaf Farooqi on this morning's The Life Scientific was interesting - her work has been on leptin and then genes which affect weight

I listened to that. Interestingly it was only 1-2% - a tiny amount

OP posts:
formerbabe · 24/01/2017 14:04

Also, I believe you can be predisposed to obesity yet remain slim. What I'm saying is for those people it takes a lot more effort and a lot less food for them to remain slim than it does for a person not predisposed to obesity.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:04

Well, you are welcome to believe that if you choose.

Science doesn't back you up on it, but I have a feeling that isn't really going to change your mind.

The fact is, people overeat. It's very easily done - Some people just have more willpower than others and manage to control their food intake.

I do accept that there are myriad psychological drivers for that overeating, but denying that it's overeating at all and trying to blame, well pretty much anything else is really unhelpful.

Original poster
penciltop · 24/01/2017 14:05

I exercise everyday but if I want to be slim, I have to eat very little...Like I said, one meal a day

Maybe that is best for your body. It may be better for other people to be able to eat a lot more and more frequently. You just have to accept it like you do your height and many other factors

OP posts:
formerbabe · 24/01/2017 14:06

but denying that it's overeating at all

I absolutely never denied it was over eating.

I'm saying it's a combination of genetics and behaviours.

Science has not disproved it. Some science has and some science hasn't.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:07

Also, I believe you can be predisposed to obesity yet remain slim. What I'm saying is for those people it takes a lot more effort and a lot less food for them to remain slim than it does for a person not predisposed to obesity

Again, the facts just don't support this view.

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 14:07

Maybe that is best for your body. It may be better for other people to be able to eat a lot more and more frequently. You just have to accept it like you do your height and many other factors

Absolutely...It's called genetics.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:08

Science has not disproved it. Some science has and some science hasn't

All 'science' is not created equal.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:09

Absolutely...It's called genetics

No, it's called TDEE

Original poster
penciltop · 24/01/2017 14:14

No, it's called TDEE

Agree!!

OP posts:
formerbabe · 24/01/2017 14:20

See...It just doesn't suit many peoples agendas to factor in genetics in any way at all. It's much easier to group all fat people together as being lazy overeaters.

What you basically said with your comment about 'tdee' is that you think I'm lazy. I'm not. I regularly do 5-10 gym classes per week.

Have a quick look at 'gad2' gene.

Bibblewanda · 24/01/2017 14:22

You just have to accept it like you do your height and many other factors

If I had to only eat one meal a day and exercise hard every day to remain slim then I'd rather be fat, what a sad little life that would be.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:31

I don;t think you're lazy, but TDEE is a very straightforward measurement.

If you eat more than you burn, the excess will be stored as fat. If your weight is stable, then you are eating to your TDEE. If you wish to lose weight, you need to create a deficit.

It is the creation of the deficit that is so difficult. Your body won't like it at all and will protest - if you really do want to lose wight though, you will have to push on through it.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:32

If I had to only eat one meal a day and exercise hard every day to remain slim

I'm afraid I just don't believe anybody is actually in this situation.

It might feel like it sometimes, but it simply isn't true.

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 14:36

If I had to only eat one meal a day and exercise hard every day to remain slim

I'm afraid I just don't believe anybody is actually in this situation.

Really? I know plenty of women in this situation. I have a friend who is a size 10...I know for a fact she skips meals and runs for miles to stay that size.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:47

I know for a fact she skips meals and runs for miles to stay that size

That's normal though, plenty of people skip meals, 5:2 is a lifestyle choice for many people. Running for miles is also perfectly normal.

There is quite a difference, however, between that and 'only eating one meal a day, every day, and also exercising hard, just to maintain'

Do you see what you have done here though? This sort of straw man is precisely what OP meant when she spoke of the denial many people are in about their weight.

You have manipulated the original point made into something quite different, and in doing so put it onto ground that is easier for you to defend. This is (in summary) what I find overweight people do, hence the suggestion that many of them are in denial.

absolutelynotfabulous · 24/01/2017 14:47

When I was a size 10 (back in the day-ha!) I was bloody starving all the time. It was soooo hard and I wasn't even thin, just a rounded slim person.

I cam easily believe that the pp's friend eats only one meal a day.

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 14:48

So how do you explain other women who don't skip meals or run for miles but stay at a slim size 10? I know people like that too.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:50

Yes, all of those people on secret eaters claim the same.

The simple fact is, if you eat more than your TDEE, you will gain weight.

Either you are eating more or moving less that than you think you are (or were).

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:52

So how do you explain other women who don't skip meals or run for miles but stay at a slim size 10? I know people like that too

They are either moving more (or more likely doing a harder run), or eating less.

formerbabe · 24/01/2017 14:54

The simple fact is, if you eat more than your TDEE, you will gain weight

I'm not denying that...But what about the rate at which you put on weight? What about how your body distributes fat? What about the hunger levels different people experience on the same amount of food? What about the levels of satiety that people experience? What controls these factors if it isn't genetics?

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:55

Look, instead of looking for every excuse under the sun, wouldn't it just be easier to just eat a bit less? Put your normal portion on a plate, cut it in half and promise yourself the other half in an hour if you really feel the need.

I promise you won't need it.

Honestly, after a few weeks, you won't even notice and will be horrified at how much you used to eat.

TheAtheist · 24/01/2017 14:56

Just because you're feeling hungry, it doesn't mean you need to eat.

Can you not focus on the delayed gratification?

Basicbrown · 24/01/2017 14:58

Some people put on weight more easily than others, that's just factual. Not all size 10 women live on lettuce leaves, believe me.

It's weird because I think that I look fatter than the BMI measure accounts for. Even when I got weighed in hospital not long after having dd2 (and I was a big size 12/ small 14 at the time) I was still just about within the normal weight range for my height.

Basicbrown · 24/01/2017 15:00

The simple fact is, if you eat more than your TDEE, you will gain weight.

But the figures they give are about 1400 calories, I would be chewing a hole in the kitchen table if I tried to live on that. I would also look ill...!