To feel absolutely dreasful about asking parents for equity release.

[Meluamelua]

Just that really.

I'm in a very difficult position with a one pre school DC and one school aged dc and working part time. Unfortunately h left me two years ago (there were problems but I would have worked at it- he is now unemployed and living at his mums). Our home is rented and the land lord has made noises about wanting to sell for the equity. A little, cheap house has come up locally to buy (unusual as is an area with low housing stock) and I could just about do it if one or other of my parents released a relatively small amount of equity (about 100K each) Between them their homes are valued at about 3.5 milion. They have never given me any money before.
My mum is livid I have even asked her and says I am spoilt and grasping. My dad simply put the phone down on me. My brother said I should expect these reactions.

I feel dreadful. Is it so bad to ask this of them? At the end of the day it is security for their grandchildren while still school age and the money will go to them eventually in some form.

Am I naive, grabby, entitled?

Perfectly prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable. Go easy though I'm a bit sore from all the stress!

I’m glad things are working out for you! I don’t think your DPs are unreasonable to refuse the request, but the way they dealt with it was horrible. I’m so glad your DF has apologised for hanging up on you and is happy to help find a solution. Hopefully you will be able to reconcile with your mum too.

In my family your request would not be unreasonable in fact you wouldn't need to ask. I would not be sat in a house worth over a million with a nice final salary while my child struggled financially BUT your family do things differently so it was an unreasonable request in their eyes. Im sorry your going through this OP. I hope things work out OK for you.

Oops didn't realise it was a zombie! Glad to read back and see it was sorted out though

@JaquieFromTheBlock

The huge majority of parents and grandparents help their descendants with significant sums - is that really true?

I would like to challenge this. I am in my 40s now and:-

----Financial assistance I have received from my now deceased Grandparents (including their wills) = zero

--Financial assistance I have received from my (still living) parents since age 16 - £150 , This was over around 20 years ago. I paid them back as soon as I was able to afford

Is this really uncommon? Or is this another thread entirely

Nope, not uncommon. No help received here either.

The interest is 4.4 percent and compound, and I would pay that

You sound a bit financially naive. That’s a very high interest rate in the UK at the moment.

And if you’re asking your parents to enter into a plan marketed as equity release (rather than a straight forward mortgage) those can be very dangerous. People can die with nothing but debt.

My parents helped me with the deposit for my first tiny house which had no hot water or heating and so I had to do 3 jobs to pay the mortgage and for renovations (and interest rates at 16%) but they offered, and it wasn’t anywhere near £200,000. And I wasn’t asking them to do an equity release on their house. No wonder they won’t speak to you ...

Of course your children’s father is the real villain here.

But I’m also at a “small” house that requires a £200k deposit. Maybe you need to move to where you can afford housing if you want to buy?

Equity relesse means that they wiuld have access to some of the value in the home but pay it back after thet die through selling the house. My MIL released £15,000 some time ago and she now owes £50,000 after her death. You are asking your parents for £200,000. I can't imagine what they would neede to pay back. Yes the house might be worth something but it doesn't mean the money is available. If I were able as a parent I would help but £200,000 is a lot of money.

I was going to comment that perhaps it was the thought of equity release that had put them off as I've heard horror stories about it, but just read your update and can see you've sorted things out. Sounds like you have a great df. Glad you've sorted it out

Ahh bloody zombie thread. Didnt realise!