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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Melania has made a terrible mistake hasn't she?

349 replies

LadyGlitterSparklesSeriously · 20/01/2017 09:36

Trump prods reluctant Melania to speak

She doesn't want to be there.

I feel quite sorry for her.

OP posts:
MsHooliesCardigan · 22/01/2017 12:44

MrsDoyle I'd go further and say they look like they fucking hate each other.

BartholinsSister · 22/01/2017 12:55

She was probably worried she was about to be grabbed by her pussy any minute, knowing what he's like.

SirChenjin · 22/01/2017 16:24

To be fair, that was just locker room banter between norty boys - nothing to get upset about (apparently Hmm)

BabychamSocialist · 22/01/2017 17:13

She has the look of a woman who's realised that he's in much better health than she assumed he was when she married him!

BoffinMum · 23/01/2017 19:07

The first dance thing was quite cringemaking. I don't think they do much together as a rule.

Yes, four years of public service where you rarely get your own way in any real sense is going to come as a hell of a shock to someone who has basically been able to do as he pleased for most of his life.

megletthesecond · 23/01/2017 20:19

The buzzfeed piece on inaugural dances was eye opening, all thrilled and happy together until you get to Trump. Melania is almost pushing him away. Even the Clinton and the Bushes looked quite sweet.

HoHumming · 23/01/2017 20:30

Appropriate song choice. I can't bear to look at his smug self satisfied face. She looks like she feels the same way. How much must she get per month/year to make it worth her while to stay, I wonder.

SolomanDaisy · 23/01/2017 20:46

She's probably going to be the one who wrestles the nuclear codes away from him at the last minute. She seems like the most reasonable person around him.

Niskayuna · 23/01/2017 20:54

"Boo fucking hoo"
"No sympathy"
"She could just leave"
"She chooses to be there."

It's funny, isn't it, how MN can be quick to insist it's a feminist place so long as the victim is victimy enough. You'd never tell a woman in Relationships to "just leave, it's so simply", or sneer at her with "boo fucking hoo".

Like hell she can just leave. He raped one of his wives. He's known for violence. He has links to the US mob and to Russia, who are fond of 'removing' their problems, and if she talks, she could be considered a problem to him. More importantly, she has a son, and it's not like Trump will let her take him. With his money he can buy anything. He can buy people. He already has.

Unless she flees alone and goes into anonymous hiding, she cannot leave.

A feminist is supposed to believe in a woman's freedom to choose. Choose children, or not children. Work, or to not work. Choose to marry for love, or for practicality. When we start policing women's choices - "she didn't marry PROPERLY!" - we become as bad as pro-lifers. If she is a victim, she deserves our sympathy as much as any other victim. Because leaving is never easy, and there are plenty of women trapped in abusive relationships who put on a brave face and withstand it either for their own personal safety or that of their children, because they feel to attempt to leave - the most dangerous time of a relationship with a violent man and the time they're most likely to be killed - would be too much of a risk.

HoHumming · 23/01/2017 20:57

I agree she can't just leave but......if she left during his presidency it might be the best time as the eyes of the world are on him.

EagleIsland · 23/01/2017 21:03

Pluto30

His ex wives were able to leave easily when he was a business man. Now he is president she won't be allowed to damage his public image. They are together for the next 4 years weather they like it or not.

They have to be the image of the perfect family

Pluto30 · 23/01/2017 21:07

His ex wives were able to leave easily when he was a business man. Now he is president she won't be allowed to damage his public image. They are together for the next 4 years weather they like it or not.

They've been together for almost 20 years, what makes you think she wants to divorce him? Pretty sure she would've done it sometime over the last 20 years if it was high on her priority list.

SirChenjin · 23/01/2017 21:08

Niskayuna - I couldn't agree more. Well said.

notMarlene · 23/01/2017 21:08

Niskayuna, yes. Hear, hear

This made some interesting points too: www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2016/12/we-should-be-kind-americas-first-victim-melania-trump

IvorHughJarrs · 23/01/2017 21:09

Meglett I thought the same, she seemed to be leaning away when they were dancing but she continued to hold that same pose with the serviceman she danced with after Donald so may just be her posture.

Melania is an intelligent woman, is fluent in 5 languages and does not deserve the abuse she is getting in my opinion. So much for women supporting women.

OhHolyJesus · 23/01/2017 21:15

I think as she's not going to be living with him any more - she is staying at Trump Tower whilst he will live in the WH I believe - it should make the whole being married to him thing much more bearable.

thatdearoctopus · 23/01/2017 21:37

Her stay of execution only lasts another year, until Barron finishes at his current school.
That article made me feel sorry for her, overall.

notMarlene · 23/01/2017 21:43

"Patriarchy is not a game any woman can win, and Melania is playing it on nightmare mode, in the version where you have to sleep with the end-level boss." This.

RubyRedRobin · 23/01/2017 22:24

I don't supppse any of us will ever really know what goes on behind closed doors.

Very interesting article above. It's all based on Melania being trapped though, who knows without doubt that this is true?

Amandahugandkisses · 23/01/2017 22:44

I feel sorry for her too. Didn't something come up on Twitter to rape her or something disgraceful like that? That alone would have me retreating to a hospital. She is a victim here, despite all the wealth she is not happy in this life from what I can see.

Julia2016 · 23/01/2017 22:50

I just had a nose on Melania Trump's twitter page and she doesn't look like someone who has a rough life, she seems to be on holiday with that man child a lot and speaks highly of him. Then social media is what you want people to think.

RubyRedRobin · 23/01/2017 23:39

Even though I'm not fully convinced Melania is desperately unhappy and trapped, I did have to chuckle at this placard.

Melania has made a terrible mistake hasn't she?
LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 23/01/2017 23:48

All of this is speculation, she might be trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship or she might not, I think Trump is and always has been a person of questionable character and she has been by his side for twenty years. That article is interesting but again speculation. In this election Melania is far down the list of concerns. The bitching and twitter threats deserve sympathy but that's about it. If she is trapped then I agree with op's that sadly she will be bullied into keeping quiet for the next four years. Let's hope Don the Dick gets himself impeached.

HelenaDove · 24/01/2017 02:39

Barron looks a bit overwhelmed too.

OneOrgasmicBirthPlease · 24/01/2017 11:23

Niskayuna, you're spot on, and thanks for the link to the article. Just wanted to share a quote that really stood out for me:

'Treating Melania as a real human being, rather than an empty symbol, is one more way of opposing everything her husband stands for.'

Dismissing her as a trophy wife or gold digger dehumanises her.