I have a male friend. He's very loyal. He's very generous with his time. He's helped me with university work greatly and has stayed in close contact now for 6 years.
Generally we get on great. I've often wondered if he has very mild Asperger as he doesn't seem to always pick up on body language or seem to see certain situations are not socially acceptable.
He would visit our mutual friend who has a toddler at 7pm and doesn't seem to notice she's trying to put him to bed and now is not a good time until she told him and he stopped popping round.
I meet up with this friend every fortnight in town and we go for a meal. He's recently visiting his mum who is in hospital and he goes past my house on his way back so asks to pop round 'for lunch'. He arrives at 1pm every fortnight at lunch time and eats plenty of food.
I know I'm an absolute idiot for putting up with it but I do that because we've been friends for 6 years and he's been a very loyal friend. He never asks for any favours (except coming at lunch time).
I have now however, decided not to do it anymore. He warns 35k a year and him and is partner have a joint income of 70k a year. I have 13k a year and a child to provide for.
I would tell him to come late afternoon but it wouldn't make any difference he'd just not have lunch and expect it later.
I often wonder if he's just rude and stingy with money, or actually has some kind of autism.
I know you don't know him but do you think it's a little mean to choose not to see him at lunch time if I have to provide lunch for him?
My other friends bring me lunch when they come at lunch time. He never even brings some drinks!
When he goes to a house party he doesn't bring anything either.
And yet gives a card and present (not expensive one but it the thought) on my birthday and Christmas and would help you out in any kind of emergency.
He has been a reference for me many times as he was my boss at one point.
I have seen him with his mum who is a single parent and she doesn't seem to have ever taught him manners or how to be considerate. Something he seems to not have learnt in adult life either.
His partner is amazing. They've been together a year now and he's helped him so much and has taught him he needs to bring a present to a house party.
It's weird he's 30 and wouldn't know this already!
So I'm rambling now. AIBU to not see him if it means I've got to give him lunch? And does it seem like he's on the autistic specified or just rude?