To leave a ten yr old home alone for an hour

[Florabella]

My younger child is starting a new activity and my (newly) 10 yr old doesn't want to get dragged along as it will mean hanging around outside for half an hour. It's a ten minute walk away. She is very sensible and I'm sure she would be ok at home, but i still feel a bit worried (maybe worried that I would be judged!) would you do it?

This is such an important conversation.

In the sort of small, face-to-face communities of Africa where I've lived and researched childhood, this would be a non-starter question because there are always dozens (or even hundreds) of adults and teenagers within view of any child, and nothing disastrous could happen to a 'child left alone' because, in effect, no child is ever alone.

In our contemporary, urban societies, that's far from the case. Urban life has great disadvantages, but you've just hit on one of the major ones: the separation/loneliness factor. Combating the lack of community that characterizes modern life in cities requires major efforts. But it could be worth the effort!

Can you try and find some neighbours with children, to start a cooperative agreement? You can each be available as 'back-up' if need be. Your ten-year-old is also old enough to be able to call such a neighbour, in case of emergency.

How about constructing a list of several reliable neighbours, with their home and mobile phone #s, to leave with your child whenever you leave him alone?

If you don't know any such neighbours--this is a great time to try and find some. Post a notice in a lift? Approach another mum out walking with a pram? Start a neighborhood list-serv?

ajglottli, it's not just urban society: the same is the case in less densely populated rural societies

far further between neighbours in traditional societies in northern Europe/the Arctic

children just have to be taught to be self sufficient from an early age

Post a notice in the lift???

"Hello strangers here is a public notice to let you know my ten year old is home alone"

That is a mental idea, who knows what sort of people you'd attract with that!

Reliable people are friends and relatives that you know well, not people you've just met!

Not good enough to tell kids to "ignore the doorbell". Have you ever tried ignoring a doorbell? It's especially hard if they press a 2nd time and I would test your kids out a few times first.

My oldest son is 10 and in year 6, he is a very sensible child. He does not really play out and has only ever walked to the shop one minute away without an adult being with him. As he’s due to be attending senior school next year, I want to allow him to become a lot more independent. As I work in the school he currently attends, when school finishes he would usually go to wraparound but have recently started letting him and his best friend leave school together and go to our house. Both my and my friend (mother of sons best friend) were nervous but they’ve been great with it so far. They’re home alone for around 50/60 minutes until I get home from school, which is around the corner so literally a one minute walk.
i was chatting with my mother tonight and she said 10 is still young to be home alone for almost an hour, she seemed really unhappy with the idea of it and now im doubting our decision. Me and my friend are both very anxious about the idea of the kids starting senior school and trying to give them a good level of independence and confidence for them starting. I’m just wondering what everyone else’s thoughts are on this

Ignore your mother. Your son will be off to secondary school soon enough where he will be expected to have a certain degree of independence and, I assume, be travelling back and forth independently, so it's very wise to start giving him some independence and responsibility before that, to prepare him and ease him into it.
And do I understand right that he's not even alone, but with his best friend? So an even gentler start to independence.