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Original poster

To leave a ten yr old home alone for an hour

181 replies

Florabella · 19/01/2017 07:01

My younger child is starting a new activity and my (newly) 10 yr old doesn't want to get dragged along as it will mean hanging around outside for half an hour. It's a ten minute walk away. She is very sensible and I'm sure she would be ok at home, but i still feel a bit worried (maybe worried that I would be judged!) would you do it?

OP posts:
BlueFolly · 19/01/2017 17:54

I would judge a parent of a NT child who wouldn't do this tbh.

Woolyheads · 19/01/2017 19:01

No.

Lilaclily · 19/01/2017 19:32

I'm intrigued by 10 year olds letting themselves in and acting til an adult gets home from work - that's year 5 isn't it ? Round here only year 6 walk home alone

Lilaclily · 19/01/2017 19:33

Waiting not acting

Natsku · 19/01/2017 19:37

Why intrigued? 10 years old is plenty old enough to get home, let themselves in, and watch telly/do homework for a couple of hours. They walk home alone from 7 years old 'round here - children are a lot more capable than many of us realise.

Lilaclily · 19/01/2017 19:41

Where's round here ? No one where I live does that until secondary school , they all use aftersschool club, childminders, etc

I'd leave mine while we were at tesco at 10 but the school would have something to say if they were home alone after school everyday I think

Sittingunderafrostysky · 19/01/2017 19:45

I'm absolutely happy to be judged on this, thanks. As I say, it hasn't done my eldest any harm to wait a while, and doesn't do my youngest any harm to come with me on short errands, rather than leaving him at home.

I know the official advice is fairly vague, but pretty certain it says that a child under 12 is rarely mature enough to be left (or at least a primary school age child).

StarOnTheTree · 19/01/2017 19:48

Yes year 5 Lilac

I'm in the North East and we get a standard letter to sign from year 5 onwards to say if our DC can walk home alone or not. A lot of kids walk home at a much younger age so I guess they have to write in to give permission.

FWIW, school know that my DD is alone at home after school sometimes.

Ceaser1981 · 19/01/2017 20:04

I had my own key when i was 10, would go home and make myself lunch then get back to school. I just wasnt allowed to put cooker on but would make supernoodles in micro etc. I think a bit of independance and trust goes a long way and your dc will appreciate it.

RabbitSaysWoof · 19/01/2017 20:09

I know the official advice is fairly vague, but pretty certain it says that a child under 12 is rarely mature enough to be left (or at least a primary school age child).
The bit you left off at the end is 'for long periods' ie it's not acceptable to work an 8 hour shift and not get childcare, if a child is left long enough to feel lonely, or need to prepare meals for themselves or get scared that's not acceptable. That's a world away from letting them wait an hour for you after school.
I was once looking into being a childminder (only 2 or 3 years ago) and I noticed in one of the requirements is said children over 8 were allowed to leave the setting unaccompanied only with written permission, so even ofsted recognises that children go out alone.
I would feel happier about my child being indoors alone than out alone, that may be about where I live tho, I would have different judgements about some of my friends local areas.

BigGrannyPants · 19/01/2017 20:10

I think that some 10 year olds could do this no problem. You know your own best, and it sounds like you don't really have any concerns about her being in on her own. She must keep it to herself though (and so must you) the law can be a little grey when it comes to that.

BigGrannyPants · 19/01/2017 20:12

Also make sure she knows what to do in case of fire etc

Natsku · 19/01/2017 20:16

"Round here" is in Finland Lilac but Finnish kids aren't magically more mature than British kids, so no reason except for local custom/school rules why a British kid can't do the same.

muminthecity · 19/01/2017 20:18

Yes I would, and did. My 11 year old is home alone for around 2 hours every day now while I'm at work.

Lilaclily · 19/01/2017 20:27

I'm not criticising I'm just asking , I know I'd love my 10 year old to come home alone and wait til j got home from work at 5.30 but I know it would, do be frowned on, but when she is in year 7 it'll be ok

StarOnTheTree · 19/01/2017 20:53

When I got the letter in year 5 I signed to say that DD3 could walk home alone ONLY because than she didn't have to wait in the playground with the teacher as each child was released to the parents one at a time. She could just come straight to me.

But signing the letter was like a green light to DD3 and she decided that she really did want to walk home alone so we did it in stages over the next week or so and it was so successful that I realised I'd underestimated her ability to do this and the positive impact that it would have on her.

I was always home for the first couple of months but I got her a key and after a few weeks she started letting herself in even though I was there.

thisismyfirsttime · 19/01/2017 21:07

Can I ask why the pp's who have said their child shouldn't answer the phone while they're out have said that? I was left alone after school/ while my ddad picked dm up from work from about 9ish. I had rules and not answering the door was one of them but not the phone. I did get up to some stupid shit while I was at home alone (sitting/ sliding on the bannisters overlooking a big drop and turning on the oven to put crisp packets in so they shrivelled up and I could make keyrings out of them being my favourites!) but I knew what to do if something had gone wrong.

StarOnTheTree · 19/01/2017 21:29

My older DC were allowed to answer the phone when they were younger but if questioned they said that I was in the shower just so that random people wouldn't know they were home alone. One of the DC once told my builder that I was in the shower when he phoned to check something and I'd just popped to the shop for 5 minutes. He'd only popped out for some more grouting for the shower that he was in the middle of tiling at the time Grin

We don't use the landline now so DD3 uses her mobile and she always answers it.

Purplepixiedust · 19/01/2017 21:33

I haven't left my 10 year old more than 10 mins yet while I pop to the local shop and even then if I am a few minutes longer than he expects as shop is busy he is looking out of the window for me! Not quite ready in our case but expect he will be in the next year or so.

He is in year 5 and a handful walk to school alone now but the majority don't. He will be alloŵed in year 6.

Twooter · 19/01/2017 21:44

Thisismy- it's so they don't have to say that they're on there own, they don't have to deal with cold callers and they don't take messages and forget to pass them on. Our phone shows the name of close friends and family, so they can answer those calls.

KERALA1 · 19/01/2017 21:46

This - a girl in dds (aged 10) recently answered the phone and it was a pervert. We had similar calls when I was growing up so my dds are not allowed to answer the landline.

KERALA1 · 19/01/2017 21:47

*Dds class

pixie32 · 19/01/2017 22:03

Op I think this sounds fine. I have a funny story about this though... A few years ago my sis and I went shopping, she left my 14 year old niece at home. A couple of hours later her mobile rang and a voice said this is Pc Smith and I have your daughter here in a house without a parent or responsible adult, do you realise this counts as neglect? Apparently the police called round to see my other niece who had reported her phone stolen and when my niece answered the door and saw the police she panicked, she looks very young and when they asked her where her parents were she burst out crying and said she didn't know! I think she thought they were there to drag her off to a cell, poor wee thing! So they asked for her mum's number and phoned my sis to give her a row and tell her to come home! Obviously just a mix up and nothing came of it, but I often think if it as my ds aged 13 stays in quite a lot when I go to the supermarket etc!

altiara · 20/01/2017 00:32

My DD is 10.5 and in Y6. Since September I've forced myself to leave her alone at home while I drop off or collect DS from clubs so we've built up to almost an hour.
I can't see how the sudden jump in 8 mths time when she's in Y7 and then walking for 50 mins or travelling on buses without an adult then letting herself in at home by herself will work otherwise.
I'd probably start with dropping your other child off/picking up a few times so they get used to the 'freedom' before leaving them for an hour.

amammabear · 20/01/2017 00:43

In my dc's last school, only yr 6 were allowed to walk home. I don't actually know what the rule is at their new school, but they get the bus.

It makes me laugh, every age child from reception to yr 6 is escorted onto the bus, seated, belt checks and registered- but then the bus goes off with no second adult, only the driver, who has no idea which stop each child is getting off at or if anyone is collecting them. It just seems such a contrast!