To leave a ten yr old home alone for an hour

[Florabella]

My younger child is starting a new activity and my (newly) 10 yr old doesn't want to get dragged along as it will mean hanging around outside for half an hour. It's a ten minute walk away. She is very sensible and I'm sure she would be ok at home, but i still feel a bit worried (maybe worried that I would be judged!) would you do it?

I have an 11 year old, and he has an emergency key, incase I get stuck in traffic getting home and to save him waiting on the doorstep when he gets home from school. I'm never longer than 10 mins, but I always worry that the neighbours are watching and judging! I've banned him from going and eating any snacks until I get there, because my paranoid brain tells me that he'll choke to death one day on a crisp before I pull into the driveway.

Yes.

Prepare her with a few things first.

• how to contact you (does she know how to ring your mobile?)
• what to do if the doorbell rings
• what to do if the phone rings
• who to go to in an emergency e.g. if you can't get home because you are abducted by aliens, which local friends or neighbours she could go to?
• what is she allowed to do while you're out (e.g. TV, homework or whatever)
• what is she not allowed to do while you're out? (e.g. no cooking, hot drinks, knives or scissors, no friends visiting, no going out)

The frequent worry I often had with the middle child (as a teenager) woukd that he often had friends calling around. I didn't trust him not to let him, show off and create havoc in the house when I was not there. The older one would not have dared to do any of those things at a much younger age.
Two years between them, same upbringing - very different children!

I wouldn't. DD is 11 and in year 6 and hasn't been left alone - I'm sure none of her friends will either. We live in an area where kids live within minutes of high school or are driven in. Most of her friends have siblings in year 7 and don't walk alone to school unless in a big group.

Siince she was 10 We've left our very sensible dd on her own at home for an hour. The first time we did it someone unlocked the front door and some strange person came in, covered in black and dripping with rain. My daughter froze to the spot, then realised it was our lovely cleaner who had decided to turn up on a different day to usual....

Interesting reading, I have a 10yo dd and haven't ever really left her as not had any reason to do so. However come September she will be off to secondary which will entail a 10 min walk on her own and letting herself in and waiting 2 hours for me to get home from work.

It seems like a big leap but afaik there are no childcare options for secondary aged kids, will start to leave her for short periods this summer in preparation I guess.

Yes, definitely. So long as they know what to do in emergencies etc.

Lot of mollycoddling going on in this thread. They'll be at secondary school next year, time to start letting them experience a bit of independence. If your DS is sensible then I can't see why not. I left my 10 year old at home alone for short periods of time. She's now 12 and still here.

No. I wouldn't and I didn't. My son is 14 and I've only just started leaving him at home alone.

But that's for list of different reasons. You know your own child so only you can decide.

Lots, not list.

Yes in theory- but depending on the maturity of the individual child.

Like pp's, mine have a drill: don't answer phone or door, have to know how to call me, know what to do if god forbid the fire alarms went off (get out of house, go to neighbour) etc.

Yes, so long as he knows not to open the front door and how/when to contact emergency services if need arose.

My 11 year old is left at home, has done since he was 10. Hes a sensible la, and very mature for his age. we leave him while we do the food shop, activities etc... he stays on his computer and does not move from it , the 7 year however thinks this is incredibly unfair

My 6 year old tried to tell me that she was OK to stay in bed (that fluey cold before Xmas) while I took her sister to school.

hahhahahaaa. Good try junior, but you don't manage sensible for 10 mins straight. It'll be 25 before I'd trust her (not really)

Our school allows children to make their own way from Y5. That'll probably be my cue to relax rules a little. However there's 2 busy roads to cross and it's about a mile so we'll take it slowly. A neighbours Y5 knocks on our door most days to walk with us, so I think he's still a little uneasy about it. I've spoken with his Mum and she's happy for me to take him by car if I'm not walking.

I leave my 8.5 year old in the house alone if I have to go out locally for short periods (up to 30 mins) and I'm planning to start leaving him to go to an exercise class (again local, out for an hour) in 2 months when my lodger moves out.
I'm a child protection social worker which makes me view risk in a more robust way. I mean that I don't take the 'better safe than sorry' attitude as that would mean putting half the kids in the city into care. I consider what is likely to happen, how likely is it, what can be put in place to mitigate such an eventuality, can my child tell me what to do in an emergency etc. I have a sensible child who doesn't get freaked out so I'm happy that it's safe. Children in other cultures have far less adult supervision from young ages and on the whole they cope fine.

Definitely depends on the child. My son isn't quite 8 yet but I can't see him being sensible enough to be left alone at 10 even for a short time. He would take it as an opportunity to do things he's not allowed to do. My daughter on the other hand is already much more sensible at just 4 years old so I'll probably be able leave her alone at a younger age.

AQuietMind surely if you had an accident and didn't come home when agreed, 11 year old DC would call a local adult? I leave my 11 year old regularly but she always knows who to ring in an emergency (assuming she can't reach me)

Mine stays home for drop offs and pick ups.

go through the boring rules.dont answer door and id say phone because this is how people see whos in...dont cook and leave anything on.no candles burning.youll be surprised what you things (because you find obvious)they don't know or realise.
you also know what area you live in so ajust accordingly.

also you know your child.are they capable. I have a sister who 30 this year and I wouldn't leave her alone haha

Depends on the 10 year old.

You will be told that you can't leave any child under 12 (or 13) on their home, which is absolute bollocks. Provided they had your telephone number, or could pop round to a neighbour if there was an issue, no-one - less of all the Social Services Department of the local Council - would bat an eyelid.

No!!! NEVER!!! I have a 10 yo and I would never leave her home alone. Yes she is sensible and would probably be ok, but what if something happened when you were out and you were longer than expected. What if here was s house fire! Unlikely but definitely possible. So NO!!

I would not risk it. If anything happened to her you would never forgive yourself. 14 can be left home alone but not overnight. I made my child go to childminder after school until he was 14.

Of course. How else will a child learn independence if you don't start with little age appropriate steps like this?

A childminder at 14? Crazy.