to be pissed at my husband for not telling me when to stop shopping?

[Kathmandu12]

So my husband and I had an agreement three years ago that he will set aside £900 per month for savings immediately. And that he'd tell me if I'm going overboard with spending. Since I don't manage money well, he takes care of it.

Anyway admittedly sometimes I go overboard (although I return a lot of what I buy) but I keep asking him and he just says he has money.

So now I just found out all we have is $2500, which will go to card payment and my summer class tuition fee.

His salary is £49000 net. We rent, we don't have a car, we have no kids. He has no vices, although he did have a tooth implant and root canal procedure last year which cost a lot.

I don't work but I have an internship that pays a bit, which I put in a savings account - so essentially that's our only savings.

I am pissed because I wasn't expecting this. So if he gets sacked from his job for any reason we won't have money.

I just hope you can find true happiness, wherever it may lie for you.

Thank you.

Shopping doesn't seem to be making you as happy as it once did (buying things things then returning them proof of that).

I think I was using "shopping" as a stress relief with my course work and internship. I need a new diversion.

so you as a couple have no savings for a rental deposit and bed, however you as an individual have savings of all your internship funds.

Riiiiight.
I hope someone is sending a strong message to your DH as well.

so you as a couple have no savings for a rental deposit and bed, however you as an individual have savings of all your internship funds.

Maybe for the nth time, he told me save the money I get from my internship. It's not for me, it's ours. He just said save it, and spend on the card.

katmandu, the more I read the more I like you. At first I thought you were naive but now I'm thinking the opposite.
You know you need to change this habit and you have a plan. Good luck to you.

*Eliza

We do things together a lot. smile

building our own house rather than paying silly money for what we want - so saving for those things now gives me more happiness than having 'stuff'.

This is my goal now, too. Actually we plan to move to another country again probably in two years where his skills will be honed more, and where I can have good opportunities in my field too. If that does not pan out, the next step is to buy our own place.*

Remember then, spreadsheets are your friend

I hope it all works out for you.

My tip is to find an item you really want.

Then save for that item, you will feel alt better than buying for the sake of buying.

TBH with that amount of disposable income you could quite easy save for a morgage and own your own home.

He has no vices, although he did have a tooth implant and root canal procedure last year which cost a lot. I'm guessing he didn't do that for kicks, OP.

Good luck. If you spend any money at all, spend it on finding a professional to help you work out why you need to spend like this.

My tip is to find an item you really want.

Yes this is what I will do. I have x amount of money per month, that's the only thing I'm allowing myself to spend.

TBH with that amount of disposable income you could quite easy save for a morgage and own your own home.

Yes, if we saved money in the last two years, we probably could have money for a deposit. Moving forward, this is one of the goals.

Remember then, spreadsheets are your friend

I have started to use a budgeting app, but you're right - good old Excel could probably work better!

At first I thought you were naive but now I'm thinking the opposite.

Thank you. I wouldn't call myself "naive", just maybe a professional student (I have more degrees to my name than the average person) who has never had to worry about where the money is coming from all her life until now. I know it sounds princess-y but I guess I lucked out. My job for almost all my life (except for four years) was to study. Unfortunately, the knowledge did not come with common sense when it comes to spending.

You know you need to change this habit and you have a plan. Good luck to you.

Thank you. Yes, I have realized my husband can pamper me so much to the point of enabling, and at the expense of saving. It cannot continue like this. So I am taking control of our financial situation.

The best budget app is the one you have with you. This app is brilliant - you just log everything you spend. Works great free, but I paid for it in the end so there were probably irritating ads from time to time.

Spending Tracker by MH Riley Ltd
appsto.re/gb/BwZSG.i

Thank you, MillionToOneChances

This looks nicer than the one I downloaded!

I can't get past the third page you are seriously thick as fuck! S-t-o-p s-p-e-n-d-I-n-g money you don't fucking have. Why is it hard for you to work out you aren't working for the money you are spending yet you are annoyed? He seems a saint to put up with you.

I can't get past the third page you are seriously thick as fuck!

A classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.

You need to pause your studies/internship and get a job. Resume when you're financially stable.

Being a student isn't a job. You are renting so are in a precarious position despite your other half earning a decent salary.
This makes no sense. Stop spending money unless you have a v rich family willing to bail you out.

OK so you are in OZ.

If you genuinely can't budget then get dh to give you an amount in cash - put the credit card in a a bag of water in the freezer.

Then use that fabulous Australian system of 'lay away' or what ever it is called where you go to the shop, pick what you want and only payt part, then go back in a week and pay another part - it will allow you to have fun shopping without going over budget.

*TiredandRavenous

No, my DH is my first boyfriend. I came from a well-to-do family.

You claim to have so many qualifications etc, go out and use them Hun!

I will. But I'm still finishing the latest qualification. That in combination with my previous ones will theoretically put me in a position to demand a good salary from the get-go. So crossing fingers!

Stop spending money

I did. I haven't done any shopping for clothes, etc since starting this thread.

Then use that fabulous Australian system of 'lay away'

I haven't tried that, but that makes sense! Thank you.

Just an update - it's just been two weeks, but three realizations:

1. We really do spend a lot on food. But this is considered a non-negotiable for us, as we like eating healthy food.

1. It's becoming easier for me not to buy anything. We're also moving to another place and I have noticed I seem to have bought backups of things I really liked, thinking if one wears out, I'll have another one. The problem is, I liked them at that time, then the fondness waned. Or I gained weight/lost weight.

1. I have the most amazing husband in the world.

Is your husband going to manage your salary when you start work then? Take responsibility and be an adult. Don't rely on anyone and stand on your own two feet. Money management is not rocket science and of you're going to enter the world of work you need to get on the ball quickly.

Pissed off!!! Not pissed! We're not Americans,

foxyloxy78

No, I will do it.