to be pissed at my husband for not telling me when to stop shopping?

[Kathmandu12]

So my husband and I had an agreement three years ago that he will set aside £900 per month for savings immediately. And that he'd tell me if I'm going overboard with spending. Since I don't manage money well, he takes care of it.

Anyway admittedly sometimes I go overboard (although I return a lot of what I buy) but I keep asking him and he just says he has money.

So now I just found out all we have is $2500, which will go to card payment and my summer class tuition fee.

His salary is £49000 net. We rent, we don't have a car, we have no kids. He has no vices, although he did have a tooth implant and root canal procedure last year which cost a lot.

I don't work but I have an internship that pays a bit, which I put in a savings account - so essentially that's our only savings.

I am pissed because I wasn't expecting this. So if he gets sacked from his job for any reason we won't have money.

why does it not worry you that you are burning through substantial amounts of money and waitting to be told what to do by your husband re finances.

Like I said, we had an agreement that he will set aside an amount per month as our savings.

For those offended by the term "play money", will changing it it "recreation/clothes/etc money" make a difference if it means the same thing?

so you're saying you don't know how keep receipts and do basic addition, even with a calculator.

As that is all that you need to add up your weekly/monthly spending.

so you're saying you don't know how keep receipts and do basic addition, even with a calculator.

No, I am saying I did not do this.

Is it wise to have absolutely no oversight of what he's doing?

No.

We have since agreed to stick to a budget, give each other a bit of "recreation money", and set aside an amount per month which I can see so I know he is actually doing it.

OP I feel like you're going round in circles, always back to the same thing - DH agreed to do this and it didn't happen. Stop stamping your feet and whining and listen. Take out the (entertaining) arguments between posters and judgy comments ( including my own) and read the basics of what many posters have said - you both need to have an honest discussion about money and you need to take responsibility for your own actions. Imagine if DH came on here saying "AIBU to be pissed at my wife who demands I save each month but is happy to spend it until there's none left and then blames me?" The details of your situation are just decoration, the real story is that you both have issues that you're failing to address. Grow up, step up and act like an adult or stop moaning about it on here. The plan you outlined earlier sounds a great starting point but, seriously, LEARN SOMETHING from this situation otherwise you'll have more serious issues later on.

OP I feel like you're going round in circles, always back to the same thing - DH agreed to do this and it didn't happen. Stop stamping your feet and whining and listen.

I am not stamping my feet - I have been repeating to answer the posters who seemed not to have read my posts.

You have no savings because A) you earn fuck all and B) you are like a child when it comes to money.

Grow up, woman up, and take control of your share of the finances.

Take out the (entertaining) arguments between posters and judgy comments ( including my own) and read the basics of what many posters have said - you both need to have an honest discussion about money and you need to take responsibility for your own actions.

We did. I posted what we agreed on.

The plan you outlined earlier sounds a great starting point but, seriously, LEARN SOMETHING from this situation otherwise you'll have more serious issues later on.

Yes, thank you. I realize this and while I have wasted a lot of money, it's spilt milk, past is past, at least we are not in any debt. Now moving forward, we will follow the plan we agreed on.

You have no savings because A) you earn fuck all and B) you are like a child when it comes to money.

Yes.

So there's not much point continuing with the thread. All sorted.

Grow up.

In fact OP I'll add to that. Grow up and stop being a leeching little princess.

You're like a greedy child who has been thoroughly indulged and spoilt and now you're cross there's nothing left

You should go and apologise for spending so much instead of have a totally self-entitled hissy fit.

Child.

, it's spilt milk, past is past, at least we are not in any debt.

I find your attitude very flippant tbh.

I find your attitude very flippant tbh.

Ok, how do you suggest I tackle this? The money is gone. We have a plan moving forward. Any suggestions?

Kathmandu, why can't you work while being at uni? Most people do that, and then you'll have your own money (and it will teach you financial responsibility).

Pluto30

Because I have an internship along with full-time uni.

So whats the point in this thread now?

OP, taking action on one thing, once isn't what I was referring to when I said you need to take responsibility for your own actions. I meant with money, with yourself, with DH, friends, family, etc. I doubt this is an isolated problem in your life & the way you seem to be tackling this is an indication that you might not take responsibility for other things too. You're still focusing on the money issue when you clearly have at least 2 other issues - you are happy to sit back and let someone else do the tough stuff (and have the audacity to get pissed about it too) and you can't / don't talk honestly with your husband. Get your head out of your bank accounts, look around and see the bigger picture.

"Ok, how do you suggest I tackle this? The money is gone. We have a plan moving forward. Any suggestions?"

1. Keep receipts of what you spend
2. Add them together

Fucksake

*1. Keep receipts of what you spend

1. Add them together

Fucksake*

Yes, I already said I'd stick to a budget we have agreed on. What else?

So whats the point in this thread now?

If you think there's no point to a thread, do not reply as it will only bump it up. :)

ICouldDieLaughing

I appreciate your advice, thank you. I just can't think of any other area where we have a problem right now. I think we have this financial situation because between the two of us, he has always been the higher earner, even when I was working full time back home, and has always been in charge of the finances. But I will keep that in mind, thank you.

No, i want you to say what you are expecting from this thread. All i see from you is being a wide arse on here. Replying to all the non-relevant posts.
Ah fuck it. I dont care. Good luck in the real world!

Op step up and be an adult you need to work out a budget for yourself every month and stick to it religiously. I like shopping but I live on my own and had to learn how to budget without any self help books I sit down at the end of every month when I get paid and calculate what all my outgoings are for the next month and am to the point of being obsessive about not spending money incase a bill comes through the post that I haven't factored into my outgoings and don't have the money to pay because they won't accept sorry but can you wait until I have more money to pay this bill so I spend nothing on myself until I know that every last bill has been paid for because I don't want to ask anyone to bail me out of a mess. Learn how to budget and grow up and act like an adult not a spendaholic child. It's not your husband that you should be pissed off with its yourself that you should be pissed off with your not earning anything and your wasting all of what your husband earns.