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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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MIL and being obese

988 replies

YellowBlinds · 17/01/2017 14:59

DH and I made the mistake move to be closer to his parents 3 years ago. FIL is fine, very quiet and reserved, but DH's Mum is your traditional Mumsnet MIL.

Since moving closer, DH and I have been very much at her beck and call - which at first I was more than happy to help (we moved closer to be more helpful and see each other more) however it slowly grew into taking the piss. She frequently invites herself around during the week when DH is at work (I work from home) and will actually let herself in with the spare key, often giving me the fright of my life when I come downstairs and find her rifling through the kitchen cupboards. Despite being able to drive and having a car, she will ask me to drive her to the supermarket/shops/cinema etc - whilst I'm at work.
I could go on but hopefully you get the idea! (don't want to drip feed).

So here's the problem;

She's a very large lady, clinically obese, so much so that it is causing her significant strain on her knees and ankles.
She claims that her weight is due to a medical problem however having been to the doctors with her on several occasions, I've been present when the GP has outright said (after blood tests etc) that there is no underlying health issue, she simply needs to change her lifestyle.

Her ankles are causing her a lot of pain, and I do have sympathy for that, but she is now insisting that she cannot drive or go anywhere unaccompanied and that because I am "at home all day" I should chauffeur her around.

When I have told her I can't do this regularly, she has become hysterical and cried that I'm refusing to support her and discriminating against her medical condition.

She absolutely will not help herself, and has said some really vile things about the doctor, and is telling everyone she has a gland problem - and then goes home and eats an exceptional amount of food pilfered from my kitchen.
She takes great delight, however, in telling me that I'm really fat (I'm not, at least I don't think I am).

AIBU in refusing to ferry her around and not supporting her with her "medical problem"?

OP posts:
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MyFriendGiraffrey · 23/01/2017 12:46

I don't have the option to bookmark when using my laptop but do when using the app on my phone. Think this might be why there is some confusion.

Hope you've had an uneventful weekend with MIL Yellow

HappyFlappy · 23/01/2017 14:48

I suspect that Yellow is ducked down below the level of the windowsill with a molotov cocktail in one hand and a repeating rifle in the other, as the MIL lays siege to the front door.

Or she's catching up on all the work she'd missed due to the MIL sitting with her feet up noisily inhaling biscuits in her living room and complaining about the doctors ignoring her gland problem

TiredAndRavenous · 23/01/2017 22:44

The suspense is building

justilou · 23/01/2017 22:52

Dying to find out how this is going, OP! Hope she's starting to get the picture...

Chippednailvarnishing · 23/01/2017 22:53

Hope this isn't mil...

MIL and being obese
QuimReaper · 23/01/2017 23:31

Oh Gawd OP at least come back and reassure us you're still alive!

Doublemint · 23/01/2017 23:56

I've never left a thread on my watch list for so long after the OP has stopped posting!

Hope you're alright yellowblinds?!?!

TheMaddHugger · 24/01/2017 00:03

I just PM'ed her.

Hope she is ok

SoleBizzz · 24/01/2017 00:29

Harassment

YellowBlinds · 24/01/2017 10:14

Hi everyone, I'm really sorry for not coming back and updating.
I am insanely busy with work, I've been working from 7am most mornings to about midnight/1am - I have a new product launch coming up and I have really bitten off more than I can chew.

DH is fine, embarrassed more than anything, but he has gone out a couple of times with his Dad to the pub to really talk to him about things and discuss how to approach MIL.

MIL has come around several times since I bit back - same old story. Banging on the door, howling that she's locked out etc etc.

She did this again on Friday, not realising that DH was working from home too. I answered the door and she laid into me, only for DH to walk around the corner. He just stood behind me and watched her as she kind of ran out of steam, asked her very calmly to wait for us to contact her, as we're both working right now and scarpered back home.

She came around on Sunday afternoon but we were out. DH went to visit her on Saturday (just a normal visit, he hasn't talked to her about everything yet) and she was completely normal and didn't mention any of the drama from the week before.

The whole thing is really bizarre.

As I say, I've been snowed under with work - I just want to cry there is so much of it - that I haven't had the time or energy to dedicate much thought to the whole thing.

Thank you to everyone for all of your support, I'll start a new thread for when I can update properly - I will link it here before it all gets filled up!

OP posts:
YellowBlinds · 24/01/2017 10:16

new thread

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 24/01/2017 10:49

Sqishy ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

hangingoutthewashing · 27/01/2017 13:28

Marking place

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