To have called in sick (again!) and now not know what to do?

[username1317]

I've been ill with a string of back to back colds/fluey viruses since before Christmas. I have a toddler in nursery who of course gets everything and brings it home.

I had a long break at Christmas but was really ill with an awful cough and cold for all of it and we went to stay with family for a week (was planned for ages and they live the other side of the uk so rarely get to see them) which with lo wasn't very restful. When is Christmas with kids!

I've had quite a few days off here and there since being back. Some mornings after no sleep with ill toddler on top of being ill myself I just can't imagine getting through a day's work. Some days he's been ill and I've had to stay home with him rather than send him to nursery. Whenever I've been off he's been home (two times I was off sick nursery phoned me to pick him up because he was sick too) so I don't feel I've really had any time to rest or get better. I had to call DH home from work yesterday and Friday because I was too ill to look after toddler all day.

To add to the mire I've just told my boss that I'm planning on leaving. Not officially handed in my notice yet but said I plan to soon and would spend the next however many weeks getting things ship shape to pass on to someone else. It's a stressful job in a disorganised organisation. Boss appreciated me telling them and stressed how highly they regard me.

I've just called in sick again (was off at the end of last week) and sent my boss an email saying I need to actually rest and get better rather than drag myself in and hang on by the skin of my teeth again until I can't do it any more and have to take another random day. I stressed this had nothing to do with my decision to leave but is just terrible timing and I want to get better so I can do a good job.

DH and DS have just left in the dark to do a day at work / nursery and I'm here in bed with the house to myself for the first time in 18 months. I think I'm having some kind of existential crisis! I feel so guilty but at the same time so full of dread at the idea of more struggling through illness and sleep deprivation.

Have a done the right thing and what the hell do I do with my day to properly rest but not feel like a useless lay about? How on earth do other working mums get through winter with constant illnesses? Am I just rubbish at life?

Pontynan

There will be legal allowances for some emergency childcare time off and procedures such as stage 1 sickness meeting - minuted.
Jus getting Pee'd off is not a very professional reaction by employers and there needs to be a review of how employee can be supported, clear expectations and an explanation of route to formal warning.

Pontynan

There will be legal allowances for some emergency childcare time off and procedures such as stage 1 sickness meeting - minuted.
Jus getting Pee'd off is not a very professional reaction by employers and there needs to be a review of how employee can be supported, clear expectations and an explanation of route to formal warning.

How are you feeling now op
Did you go back to work

Hey sounds like tough time.
I wonder if a longer period off to really catch up would help with recovery, rather than frequent short absences where you never really catch up. Also might help employer out to be able to plan for e.g. 2 weeks cover

Sometimes stress/low mood can be associated with sleep deprivation from young children / work juggling. This can exacerbate low immune system.

Did you say LO < 1year.
I wonder if there's any support group in your area for PND? Not saying you have this but sometimes getting the support before it gets that bad can be really helpful.

Hope you feel better soon.

Ps GP can check bloods inc thyroid, glucose etc if it's recurrent. And they can sign you off with stress if things get unmanageable.