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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not provide food at a birthday party?!

386 replies

WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 22:00

DS is going to be 9 next birthday. He wants a skate party at our local roller rink. The party will be 6:15pm until 7:45pm on a Sunday night (they're fixed times for parties and this is the slot available on the date we want).
We have a limited budget and without food he could invite his whole class, friends from cubs, football etc. If we cater the party then it'd drastically limit numbers.
We plan to provide drinks for the kids and there's a cafe on site that will be open if parents want to stay.
WIBU to allow him to invite all the friends he wants and skip the catering?!

OP posts:
Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 23:14

The cafe is separate & you can't take food onto the rink.

Up to now most parents tend to stay at parties where there's a cafe/bar or similar although it won't matter if they don't.

I'm not in Derby, no, but I did go to uni there!

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 16/01/2017 23:14

I'd expect some kind of food at a 9yo party tbh

fallenempires · 16/01/2017 23:15

No problem.Smile

stoopido · 16/01/2017 23:17

I would never not give food at a party. I would at least do a bag or box with some food in. Or see if anywhere is doing deals and order in Pizzas if there is anywhere to eat them. Sunday evening I would probably decline the invite though.

ferriswheel · 16/01/2017 23:18

I haven't time to read the whole thread now but could you say...

'...birthday gathering'. Instead of party. Then say that due to practicalities guests will be given a picnic party bag to take home.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/01/2017 23:18

Ah! I just wondered from how you described it as being in an industrial estate (the Derby one is on Mansfield road just down from Morrisons) as I know the guy who runs the cafe and its his own business. He pays rent to the rink owners and so could do his own deals on food, so I was going to suggest you have a word with him and see what he could do with your budget.

Stilitzvert · 16/01/2017 23:19

People wouldn't go to a 9 uearcold birthday party on a Sunday early evening really? All spounds fine to me

Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 23:20

@pyongyang Oh yes, I know where you mean!!

Clearly industrial estates are the place to be for roller rinks. 😂

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 16/01/2017 23:22

Must be!

And I would take mine to a Sunday early evening party, I really dont see why anyone would tbh. Lots of roller skating to tire them out? Perfect!

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/01/2017 23:23

Why anyone wouldnt

Madasahattersteaparty123 · 16/01/2017 23:26

I think this sounds a fab party.

All my kids eat early 5ish depnding on groups so I would have fed them beforehand.

I do think you should make sure it is clear on the invite. You can order party boxes for next to nothing. I have ordered 40 for dds sports party for less than £10

nicp123 · 16/01/2017 23:28

I think you will have to state clearly on the invites your arrangements for the evening & food... I have always arranged to have food for my kids' b'day parties; even though they might have not eaten everything, they enjoyed the social part of sitting together, chatting and joking. The 'cake-time' was also highly appreciated every single time. One year we left the house to go to the venue without taking the goodie bags and believe it or not, most of our 9 years old kids guests were really disappointed when told there were no goodie bags 'til the next day!
I think you should provide at least some drinks as they will certainly need to keep hydrated.

Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 23:32

@nicp123 Drinks are being provided!

OP posts:
CrazyCavalierLady · 16/01/2017 23:42

Ignore the naysayers. Sounds like a great party for 9 yr olds. Ensure the invites state the food arrangements for those who's children "must" eat every hour on the hour (does no one say no to children these days? Or perhaps no one worms children anymore?). Party bags with a few extras sound perfect and mention the cafe for parents that way if individuals want to feed their children they can plan to buy their own.

Personally my biggest fear for a large party these days would be the lack of manners in regard to RSVPs.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 16/01/2017 23:46

I always considered food part of the deal - host provide entertainment and food, guest provides a present.

38cody · 16/01/2017 23:52

Why not have water and crisps? I think it's fine to skip the food so long as the parents are aware that there is no food.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/01/2017 00:00

I agree with the poster who said invite them to a 'Roller Disco' rather than a Birthday Party' it changes what you 'expect'. Then put 'Drinks provided. Food available to purchase in the cafe'

There's no way I'd hand out party bags during the event, far too many hassles. Also, if you're not allowed to bring your own food, putting it separate bags doesn't mean it's ok.

What catering options have they offered?

Mollyringworm · 17/01/2017 00:02

Gordon bloody Bennett - the op is providing drinks she's clearly stated it. Anyone who would rather decline an invitation for their kids to go and have a fantastic roller disco party cos they can't get through a 90 minute party without eating a proper meal or a picnic seriously needs to just do one.

Provide a drink and maybe a bag of crisps.
State this clearly on the invite.
Give not a fuck about all the people who decline this invite due to their kids being unable to function if they are not fed between 6.15-7.45pm on a Sunday night.
Have a good 'un!
I'm off to bed I can't take it anymore!

CommunionHelp · 17/01/2017 00:05

And I would take mine to a Sunday early evening party, I really dont see why anyone wouldn't tbh

Parents with a younger sibling in bed?

Parents who rely on public transport that is unreliable/non existent on a Sunday evening?

I'm sure there's lots of other reasons. The OP"s explained why she's booked it for that time, but - generally - there will be people for whom parties in an industrial park on a Sunday evening wouldn't be easy.

for those who's children "must" eat every hour on the hour (does no one say no to children these days?

Or just ordinary folk who, y'know, think that parties usually have the odd bit of party food thrown in?

But anyway, as lots have said OP, you'll be fine as long as you let people know.

CommunionHelp · 17/01/2017 00:06

Give not a fuck about all the people who decline this invite due to their kids being unable to function if they are not fed between 6.15-7.45pm on a Sunday night

Who are all these people? Have loads of people said they'd do that?

Mollyringworm · 17/01/2017 00:11

Just do one communion - I told you I'm off to bed, now stop it. Grin

CommunionHelp · 17/01/2017 00:14

Bet you dream of a big cake on skates Molly Grin

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/01/2017 00:15

Communion that was said to the people who said that they would turn it down purely on the basis that it was on a Sunday evening. Not because they couldnt go but because they wouldnt go.

I dont see what the issue is with it being on an early Sunday evening, assuming transport etc isnt a problem.

holidaysaregreat · 17/01/2017 06:29

Sounds like a great idea for a party. I imagine that the parents are more bothered than the kids about the food. Surely kids eat tea about 5/6pm? I think there would be food wasted if you did provide it as the kids would be skating. Go with what you want to do.

PrincessHairyMclary · 17/01/2017 06:49

If the cafes open as normal can you ask them to do a couple of platters of chips the kids can pick at? or as we found platters can still be pricey but take your own large plates and order 5 portions of chips and put them on the platters yourself won't be too expensive, the kids can snack on them with having to give up skating time etc. same with take a couple of bowls and buy a few bags of sweets there to tip in them.

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