Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not provide food at a birthday party?!

386 replies

WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 22:00

DS is going to be 9 next birthday. He wants a skate party at our local roller rink. The party will be 6:15pm until 7:45pm on a Sunday night (they're fixed times for parties and this is the slot available on the date we want).
We have a limited budget and without food he could invite his whole class, friends from cubs, football etc. If we cater the party then it'd drastically limit numbers.
We plan to provide drinks for the kids and there's a cafe on site that will be open if parents want to stay.
WIBU to allow him to invite all the friends he wants and skip the catering?!

OP posts:
drivingmisspotty · 16/01/2017 22:32

Cross posted! Looks like we agree at least, OP!

chipsandchilli · 16/01/2017 22:35

I would have the extra kids if that's what he wants and not use their catering which will probably be expensive but try and find a way to word it on the invite's. I wouldn't be bothered about their being no food and i doubt my kids would be, they would rather go skating than not go, but i would rather know so i could give them their evening meal before they come.

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/01/2017 22:35

I can see your dilemma. I would be tempted to go for it, make it clear a tea won't be provided, then maybe put cake, a packet of crisps and some sweets in a "party bag" you hand out at home time (thereby getting around their catering rule).

MistressMerryWeather · 16/01/2017 22:35

it will be expected and it may embarrass your DS as his friends will have been to other parties and know the norm.

Bollocks.

They will be too busy having a great time.

Party bags are a great idea, OP.

CommunionHelp · 16/01/2017 22:36

I didn't realise so me people see it as a given

There's no risk that they'll faint from hunger, but I think most kids of 8/9 still enjoy the fun of party food, don't they?

HalfaFishFingerAndTwoPeas · 16/01/2017 22:40

What's the obsession with kids having to eat at every social event/ activity?Confused just let the parents know there won't be food and their children will have to go a couple hours without a snack. They will survive.

Marcipex · 16/01/2017 22:41

I wouldn't mind if I knew in advance that they needed to eat before the party. Do make it really clear though if that's what you're going to do.

Also like the idea of crisps in party bags.

Cherryskypie · 16/01/2017 22:42

I've not heard of anyone doing a Sunday evening party for primary age DC before. Is it a common thing?

I think you can get away with the food thing if you're clear on the invite and generous with the party bag snacks.

HalfaFishFingerAndTwoPeas · 16/01/2017 22:42

Communion I think they will be more excited about roller skating!

NicknameUsed · 16/01/2017 22:43

"Maybe I should do "party bags" with a packet of crisps, a snack bar and piece of cake and hand them out earlier than the end of the party?!"

That's the best idea. DD has never been to a party of any kind where food wasn't involved.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 16/01/2017 22:43

Just make it clear on the invite that it won't be catered, just a small snack in their party bag. We have tea much earlier than this so I wouldn't find it a problem as long as I was forewarned to feed them first. My DCs eat loads at parties and are often hungry so I definitely wouldn't want to send them having eaten nothing and assuming there would be food there. They probably will be having too much fun to worry about it.

fallenempires · 16/01/2017 22:43

YABU,for starters a Sunday evening isn't the best time to be having a party and I'd be surprised if you received many acceptances.I wouldn't but thankfully was never asked when mine were primary aged.It's the end of the week for many,school/work the next day & all that entails + dare I say it family time! If you want to host a party like this then do it late morning but do have some bits of food available,the children will be hungry otherwise & the parents won't thank you.Can't you just scale no's down & invite closest friends & then negotiate with the venue to supply your own food or use theirs? OP regardless it's a daft time for a child's party.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 16/01/2017 22:43

Party bags with bag of crisps drink cake etc in it would be compromise but I'd would definitely make sure it's clear on invite " drink and cake provided" so they don't arrive starving and expectant
If kids start eating it after skate the rink people would be mean to make a fuss
Think cake would be expected to
I wouldnt do no food this again if I were you, yes food is expensive and it gets wasted, but it is the norm

Italiangreyhound · 16/01/2017 22:43

Most places will allow you to bring your own cake. I'd buy or make a big cake covered in sweets and stuff and on the invite say that there will be drinks available and cake afterwards. I'd probably mention that people should eat before they come or say that there is a cafe.

I would not expect my kids to be fed at the party but I would rather know. I think with skating I'd give them an early tea and wouldn't expect much but a drink and some cake.

user1471507155 · 16/01/2017 22:44

I did a swimming party for my twin boys 9th party and there was no option to cater, I just said that there would be no food on the invite and gave out party bags with cereal bars, crisps, cake etc. at the end it was at a similar time and they had 50 guests they all had a fab time. No one mentioned lack of food.

CommunionHelp · 16/01/2017 22:45

What's the obsession with kids having to eat at every social event/ activity?confused

It's hardly an obsession to acknowledge that party food at a kids birthday party is pretty normal.

Just let people know then, OP. I"m sure all will be well.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 16/01/2017 22:45

At that age parties are moving towards less party food, particularly at that time. They will probably let you bring a cake and you can put some snacks in a party bag. Just warn them on the invite 'eat before you come because we have the whole 90 minutes to skate'. Do just check that they can skate for 90 minutes and that some of that time isn't allocated to the food.

TaggieRR · 16/01/2017 22:48

If parents leave their kids at the party I'd be amazed if you don't get some children coming up saying their hungry, which will open the floodgates. 90 minutes is a long time to skate, so would expect some to get bored and want a break and snack.

arethereanyleftatall · 16/01/2017 22:48

Early party bags a great idea.

Or, if his party is a few months away, and the rink is within walking distance of a park, what about a picnic in the park before the skate?

Willyoujustbequiet · 16/01/2017 22:49

Yabu im afraid.

Party food is a given. Its not on to not offer something. Youd be judged here.

Italiangreyhound · 16/01/2017 22:50

Oopse cross posted. The cake makes a good photo moment and the blowing out of candles at a party if virtually the law!

I think, OP, wanting to invite the whole class is a lovely idea (we only did that once when dd was 5).

And kids often eat next to nothing at parties, too busy having fun.

fallenempires maybe that is the only time the OP can get the rink for a whole group of kids.

I would not want my children to miss out on this type of party if it was on offer.

Although, OP I do think a Friday or Saturday or even a Thursday, would be better in terms of school next day (yes I know there is school on Fridays).

CommunionHelp · 16/01/2017 22:51

what about a picnic in the park before the skate?

With 50 kids? Bloody hell arethereany you're braver than me! Grin

Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 22:51

@fallenempires thanks for the "advice" on the timing of the party but as I pointed out in the OP, they're fixed times, the venue make more money from lessons and public skating at other times.

We've been to several Sunday night class parties with DD (who's younger than DS) as a very popular local play centre does their "exclusive hire" parties at that time and they've always been well attended but that's the least of my concerns.

OP posts:
BriefExclamations · 16/01/2017 22:52

I don't think it's a problem at all although I'd make it very clear on the invite. I'd spell it out really clearly.

It sounds like it will be a fun party.

DillyDilly · 16/01/2017 22:53

6.15pm on a Sunday evening is a crazy time for a party, I would imagine you'll have a lot who can't make it.