Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not provide food at a birthday party?!

386 replies

WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 22:00

DS is going to be 9 next birthday. He wants a skate party at our local roller rink. The party will be 6:15pm until 7:45pm on a Sunday night (they're fixed times for parties and this is the slot available on the date we want).
We have a limited budget and without food he could invite his whole class, friends from cubs, football etc. If we cater the party then it'd drastically limit numbers.
We plan to provide drinks for the kids and there's a cafe on site that will be open if parents want to stay.
WIBU to allow him to invite all the friends he wants and skip the catering?!

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 16/01/2017 22:54

Aren't you going to get loafs of kids asking for a drink?

TheSpottedZebra · 16/01/2017 22:55

Aren't you going to gave loads of kids asking for a drink?

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/01/2017 22:56

Rather than bill it as a party why not invite them to a "Roller Disco"?

And then add a note at the end that food is available to buy at the cafe if required.

KatherinaMinola · 16/01/2017 22:57

I'm sure they'll let you bring a cake - almost unheard-of for venues not to, and it's a nice moment to bring everyone together at the end. Assuming birthday cake is allowed, bring a MASSIVE cake!

Other than that, I think squash and crisps would be fine - maybe you could ask the venue what they could provide in the way of snacky stuff for £20?

And snacks in party bags too.

Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 22:57

@arethereany it's in the middle of an industrial estate and it'll be March so as much as I love a good picnic this isn't the right opportunity!

DSis did her daughter's party as a picnic in the woods with a class full of kids, went down a storm but then her birthday is in August although it still rained a bit

OP posts:
Cherryskypie · 16/01/2017 22:57

If Sundays evenings are common for parties then it's not an issue.

User..155's cereal bar in party bags is a good idea

TheSpottedZebra · 16/01/2017 22:57

Oops, thought it hadn't posted.

And if you don't want the café, maybe you can ask for it to be shut if you've hired it out, as it might be too tempting to have the staff standing there all expectantly... Have you asked whether you can negotiate a higher fee in return for shut café but your own food?

PerspicaciaTick · 16/01/2017 22:58

I've been to parties at a sporting venue where there was no food allowed or provided. The hosts have both times replaced party bags with a food box (Happy meal style) with a cupcake (instead of birthday cake), finger roll, crisps, penguin bar, fruit and carton of drink to be taken away and either eaten in the car or demolished as soon as they got home. Very handy for filling hungry tummies after physical activity (bearing in mind that parents will have time to give children a proper tea before going to the party).
But I'd be clear on the invites what you plan to do re food.

adamharriet · 16/01/2017 23:02

We did a similar thing with a swimming party and just provided a bag of crisps and a capri sun for everyone. They were all happy and it was a fun party! (Remember to let people know on the invitation that there won't be food provided though!)

fallenempires · 16/01/2017 23:02

Ok OP mine are teenagers now so thankfully no longer have to deal with this.But fwiw one of mine has an Xmas birthday so used to it not being a convenient time for many to not attend the party.My "advice" was meant well!

Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 23:02

@TheSpottedZebra we are providing drinks for the kids. I've asked for the cafe to be open as I know my parents want to come along and they'll definitely go in and get coffees as I'm sure other parents will too. There's also a bar but I've not asked for that to be open although maybe I should and then I won't care if people moan about no food.

OP posts:
Bettersleepoutdoors · 16/01/2017 23:03

It's nice to have the kids fed at a party but not essential with the age and times you're talking about imo.
Perfectly manageable for the guests' parents with either a late lunch or early supper/ tea. It sounds like a good activity.
If you let parents know the score and bill it as an activity rather than party then I can't see the problem. Wouldn't bother me.

Mollyringworm · 16/01/2017 23:04

My dd went to a skating party exactly the same a few years bag. Kids just got a bag of crisps and a drink. Parents hadn't put it on the invite though and everyone (well, some people) were a bit like Confused - so make sure you put it on the invite so people know to feed their kids beforehand.

I might add that the kids had a fabulous time and didn't give a shit about the lack of a huge spread (they were too busy whizzing around like loons and wouldn't have wanted to be interrupted to eat and drink anyway)
Op, dont provide food and don't feel guilty about it. It'll be great.

Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 23:05

@fallen sorry, didn't mean to be so spiky, so much meaning is lost in print. It's a fairly common time for a party around here though I was appalled the first time DD got an invitation for one of the Sunday night parties.

OP posts:
Original poster
WobbleYourHead · 16/01/2017 23:06

Thanks @Mollyringworm

OP posts:
Mollyringworm · 16/01/2017 23:07

Get yourself to home bargains and buy a massive box of crisps and drinks (mine love twist n squeezes as a treat)! That'll be fine.

Gooseberryfools · 16/01/2017 23:07

They need to know to eat beforehand. Otherwise you might have hungry kids.

Or just give a sausage roll and birthday cake. The venue will be expecting a cake.

FeelingSmurfy · 16/01/2017 23:07

Is the cafe seperate? I'm just thinking that if they can see their parent sitting somewhere that sells food then in a group that size someone will go ask their parents for food and be given some, and once one kid has suddenly everyone is hungry

CommunionHelp · 16/01/2017 23:08

OP, are you expecting most parents to stay then? they'll definitely go in and get coffees as I'm sure other parents will too

I would just make sure they know to bring some cash as well. Not everywhere takes cards in my experience!

Mollyringworm · 16/01/2017 23:10

Ps. I'm actually just remembering how much fun that party was, they turn off the lights and have strobes and all that and played some really good games with the kids - might book one for ds's (also age 9 in March) - thanks for idea op!!

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/01/2017 23:10

Are you in Derby by any chance Wobble?

Gooseberryfools · 16/01/2017 23:10

Invite- How about saying something like 'skating at x between x time. Cake and drinks provided (you might want to eat your tea before you come)

Gooseberryfools · 16/01/2017 23:12

Cake and cold drinks provided.

frazzled74 · 16/01/2017 23:12

In the party bag stick in a sausage roll, bag of crisps, drink and a piece of cake. Party bag and Sunday supper in one !

Lynnm63 · 16/01/2017 23:13

Sounds a great party but as others have said you must make it crystal clear no food will be provided. It's only if parents think there'll be food provided and there isn't that you might get complaints. The party bags with a cereal bar, crisps etc is a good compromise as kids can eat in the car on the way home.