AIBU to not provide food at a birthday party?!

[WobbleYourHead]

DS is going to be 9 next birthday. He wants a skate party at our local roller rink. The party will be 6:15pm until 7:45pm on a Sunday night (they're fixed times for parties and this is the slot available on the date we want).
We have a limited budget and without food he could invite his whole class, friends from cubs, football etc. If we cater the party then it'd drastically limit numbers.
We plan to provide drinks for the kids and there's a cafe on site that will be open if parents want to stay.
WIBU to allow him to invite all the friends he wants and skip the catering?!

I think it's fine! If kids can't last an hour and a half without food then I'd say there's something wrong! They can have dinner around 5:15-5:30 ish (don't most people have a Sunday roast mid afternoon?!?! Around 3ish?!) Then they can eat something in the car on the way home! My childhood was spent swimming 3 nights a week. I'm having flashbacks of all the rushed dinners and straight in the car to swim it never did me any harm!

What has the guest bringing a present got to do with it Underthemoonlight?

I agree I wouldn't attend a party on a Sunday I declined invites on a Sunday evening as we have younger DC to see to and it's our family time.

What about whether your child would prefer to spend a couple of hours with his friends as a one off rather than spending "family time" watching you sorting out the younger kids?

Personally I allow the kids to decide which parties they want to go to, I dont decide for them.

I think it sounds great. Just a heads up re food or lack thereof and bob's your uncle. I wouldn't mind it being that time on a Sunday for my kids; they'd enjoy it and it's not every week. I'd feed them at their normal tea time and give them a quick snack on the way home.

my 3yo has just had an invitation for a party on a Sunday evening/night. I'll give him an early tea before he goes and if there's food there he'll eat more, if there isn't he won't. Can't see the problem with him let alone a 9yo!

The party sounds great OP, I wouldn't worry too much about the food thing. A party bag at the end sounds like a good idea to me

We've recently held a similar thing for DD1. The venue had no cafe though and the "party room" wasn't available to hire that late in the evening. I looked into all manner of trying to feed the kids locally but nothing viable due to location/transport/cost. In the end I clearly stated on the invite that we couldn't provide food (and offered transport for those with issues). We took along bottles of water, crisps and snack bars. The kids were having a ball and didn't want to stop for food, esp as it meant coming out of the hall to eat. However we seriously underestimated how much drink was needed! If you can get jugs of water from the cafe though you'll be fine. I stuck the crisps etc that weren't eaten in the party bags. Noticed they got scoffed on the journey home along with birthday cupcakes!
Sometimes you have to go with what your child, the BIRTHDAY child would like to celebrate their day on the budget you can afford

6.15pm on a Sunday night is a great thing me for party. Can't understand that pp who said lots will decline.
And at least it'll get talked about at school the next day!!

I would do what you were going to - provide each child with a party bag. BUT, put a sandwich, chocolate/cake bar, crisps, a drink and sweets in it so its more substantial. You can save loads by making the sarnies yourself and can bulk buy the drinks, crisps and sweets from a cash and carry (or even farmfoods). I think this would keep everyone happy and the venue cant moan as its just a party bag.

Alternatively, tell parents that snacks will be provided but no hot meal and then just do a party bag with everything except the sandwich.

It would pee me off if i wasnt told as tbh i would always provide food if having a party and rightly or wrongly i would expect the same for my kids - eapecially when it coincides very closely to evening meal time x

PyongyBecause I have a young baby and the time given wasn't' convient she is only 3. I don't cater our lives for other children's parties. If the time is ok to attend and we haven't any plans and my DC is friends with that chil that's a different matter. An invite is just that not a summons.

*Notso*As for the expection of food yes I would expect them to be fed as they are hosting just as the expection of a present is required when attending.

It's very late for a party on a school night. Some of the dc will only be eight, I would let my dc go fir that reason so you may find the numbers are low.

For.

I did this once at a swimming party, where there was no where to eat. I packed extra large party bags with cake, cereal bars, cheese strings, drinks etc, so that no one starved on the way home. It worked fine.

I'd expect food (cocktail sausages, potato wedges/chips and a drink) to be provided as they will be skating around and they will be burning up calories and getting hungry.
If my son got an invite to attend a party where there was no food being provided, I'd be wary about sending him to be honest.

Sorry. Probably not what you want to hear.

Quarter to Eight finish is "very late" on a school night?!

Under your oldest child is three? The OP is talking about 9 year olds not 3 year olds.....

I know it isn't the done thing but I haven't got time to rtft. I would make a picnic box up as the part bag. Roll crisps drink cake sweets

As long as you tell people BIG letters on the invitation then no problem!

I do wonder if some of the people replying have much younger children. My DS is 9 and a couple of months ago went to a roller disco. It was a Friday night but I actually asked if there was food as that late I would of expected my DS to have tea...There was but if there wasn't he would of had a proper tea before he went.

My DS also doesn't eat much at parties..I would look at whether they would do some big jugs of squash as at 9 you will get some asking for coke etc.

I would also ask about doing cake half way through could cut it and a snack. The roller rink I know no food can be eaten in the Café and must be purchased from the café so early party bags wouldn't work.

Oh and put on invite that food will be given st end of party so have a snack first. Kids won't eat food at the party anyway. It is just the parents who will be twitchy.

Ignore everyone else! My idea is the best.

@underthemoonlight there's certainly no expectation of a gift here. DS wants to get his mates together and celebrate his birthday. Presents are lovely and very much appreciated but certainly not expected.

In response to PPs not all kids eat at 5pm. We always eat as a family so eat 6:30/7pm ish.

I would expect a 6:15pm-7:45pm to include an evening meal tbh. My 9yos went to a skate party last week where pizza and ice cream was provided, which is pretty much what I'd expect.

So as you've noted you would need to make it really clear on the invitations.

The late time wouldn't bother me but I might raise an eyebrow over how you are going to monitor 50 9yos without substantial help. At 9yo you are going to need someone keeping an eye on the door and two people keeping an eye on the loos.

I'm surprised that parents stay to parties at 9yo, no one here stays past the first year of primary.

Finally it's worth considering that 50 kids means 50 gifts. That's a lot of gifts to look after in a public place and a lot to haul home.

'It's a invite not a summons'
'I don't cater to parties'

Oh. Errrr. Ok then.

Ds2 would think that a party on a Sunday night was the coolest thing. EVER!!

We did a few parties at somewhere with no easily accessible cafe. Bought plain small white bags (from a helpful local shop who knew us as customers so sold them at cost) and put a snack in each, including a cheese roll, packet of crisps, small carton of fruit juice and, obviously, slice of birthday cake.

If need be do that instead of a party bag. I think it is important that kids do immediately start complaining to their parents that they are hungry.

I think my kids would get a bit of a lull half way through and need something to keep them going. 90 minutes of skating is quite long , and if some of the kids can't skate at all they might find it boring after a few wobbly rounds and want to just sit down and do something else, that would be where the distraction of food would be useful. I would probably let my kids go if they wanted to , but would be judging you for not providing food, yes. My kids would probably also be a bit at the thought of no food, as lots of people have said it is expected at a kids party.

I would put on the invitation something like...

"Please be aware that a meal is not included in the party package so ensure kids have eaten beforehand"

Anyone who gets stroppy over their kid not getting fed at a party needs to get a grip!